Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask about your maladaptive daydreaming experiences

31 replies

Runningnewbie · 04/08/2022 16:20

Does anyone do this? I am finding recently that I’m doing it whilst driving, which I’m now consciously trying not too as obviously it’s dangerous 😳

Also anyone that does it, do you also have OCD/intrusive thought’s? I’m wondering if there’s a link?

OP posts:
Runningnewbie · 05/08/2022 14:07

Anyone?!

OP posts:
AlwaysAugust · 05/08/2022 14:13

Also keen to know others experiences.

I used to have very bad OCD and intrusive thoughts, which seemed to disappear around the time I developed maladaptive daydreaming, almost as if I swapped one obsession for another. Then when I made an effort to daydream less, my intrusive thoughts started to come back... Must be a link, surely?

10HailMarys · 05/08/2022 14:17

Yes, I'm a shocking daydreamer and I definitely think it's partly an OCD distraction thing for me. I've always been someone with a very busy mind and a big imagination so a certain amount of daydreaming has always been present in my life, but I do use it to distract myself from intrusive thoughts. My OCD is much more O than C!

rumplestiltskinp · 05/08/2022 14:24

Yup. This is one of the reasons I never learned to drive. Call it ADHD maybe but whatever it is I can't concentrate one thing for long, never have been able to. And when I used to read books (I now use Audible) I'd have to read pages over and over again as whilst reading I'd get to the end of the page and realise I had been thinking about something else entirely the whole time and taken none of it in, although I had been reading the words.

I just find myself in daydreams all the time in scenarios and often yes unfortunately they are often really horrible scenarios involving horrible things happening to me or my family that are so upsetting and I say to myself why? why think about that?

It just happens.

UpToonGirl · 05/08/2022 14:28

I do this, I'm fairly certain I have inattentive ADHD. Like @rumplestiltskinp it's one of the reasons I never learned how to drive. I've noticed I do it more in times of stress, my day dreams are usually pleasant although if i'm feeling down they do usually take a darker turn also.

SilverPeacock · 05/08/2022 14:35

I do the daydreaming which I think is a mild dissociative state and a self protective behaviour probably. Was always being called ‘dolly daydream’ as a child. I don’t have intrusive thoughts or compulsions though.

DollyTots · 05/08/2022 14:36

I maladaptive daydream, I’ve had another world run concurrently with mine sine I was about 5.
I don’t have OCD but I can have intrusive thoughts, although I’ve never found these inhibiting or disturbing. I think because I’m so used to dipping in and out of reality (when safe to do so) I can appreciate that some thoughts are just thoughts and don’t necessarily mean anything.

I’m not surprised driving seems like a bit of a trigger for your daydreaming, it is for mine too. I think because you can often go into auto-pilot it’s easy to slip into that headspace. You know what’s a safe level though and what’s not.

Runningnewbie · 05/08/2022 17:05

That’s really interesting about others experience, I’m going to have a read into the possible links to other issues. I have only become consciously aware of doing it recently, as it’s something I have always done I haven’t really questioned it before!

OP posts:
ABlindAssassin · 05/08/2022 17:13

I'm a maladaptive daydreamer. I do it when I'm a passenger in the car alllll the time. When I'm driving I stick to a very familiar one that uses less brain space so can play 'in the background', just as if I was listening to familiar music or an audio book.

I'm not sure if I have intrusive thoughts or not. I often focus in detail on terrible events that might happen and how I would feel/react. Is that what you mean?

Runningnewbie · 05/08/2022 20:56

@ABlindAssassin kind of, but my intrusive thoughts are kind of connected to my OCD around what will happen if I don’t repeat certain things in my head at certain times of the day 😬

Do you find your daydreams change with certain music?

OP posts:
Mummadeze · 05/08/2022 21:00

My daughter has just been diagnosed with autism. She told me that she maladaptive daydreams a lot, and she also has diagnosed OCD due to intrusive negative thoughts. Am sure there is a link.

TaffyToffee · 05/08/2022 21:01

I have OCD and also used to do this a lot.

I have had to break the habit as it was actively stopping me addressing issues in my life. I think it was a very helpful coping mechanism at one time and then it outlived its usefulness for me.

HappyBinosaur · 05/08/2022 21:05

I have pretty severe inattentive adhd and used to have maladaptive daydreams all the time. It’s one thing that has noticeably changed since starting adhd medication.

i don’t have ocd but when I suffered a trauma I would daydream obsessively to dissociate from the anxiety.

HappyBinosaur · 05/08/2022 21:06

mine we’re very linked to different types of music and worse when driving. I’d sometime talk to myself in the daydreams to help me daydream and focus at the same time!

HappyBinosaur · 05/08/2022 21:07

As in talking out loud!! Obviously only when I was in the car alone.

BreakfastGold · 05/08/2022 21:08

I'm a maladaptive daydreamer, no ASD, ADHD or OCD in my case but it developed when I was being badly bullied at school and for me there is always a clear link to something difficult going on in my life that I need to escape from. I can have it under control for months at a time but when something bad happens it becomes a problem again and can take over my life for a period if I'm not careful.

FWIW I'm the opposite end of the spectrum to ADHD, in that I have good concentration and can focus for a long time, but I've always felt this contributes to the daydreaming as I can lose myself for an hour or two at a time.

Allmarbleslost · 05/08/2022 21:08

I'm a maladaptive daydreamer. I'm autistic and it helps me escape/cope.

AllNightDiner · 05/08/2022 21:52

Yes, me. I had a difficult childhood and it was a coping mechanism, a way of checking out and reassuring myself that things wouldn't always be this way. As an adult, I use it as a way of examining how I'm feeling about things - relationships, career things, etc. I basically wargame my real life in my daydreaming life and see what the other me would do. I find it a really useful tool now that I understand what I'm doing. I'm a writer, so I use the same technique to plot fiction.

I was recently assessed for dissociative traits (I'm about to undergo EMDR) and passed with flying colours, so I'm not sure they necessarily go hand in hand, but I am on the autistic spectrum fwiw.

I absolutely under no circumstances allow myself to do it when I'm driving!

There are a few old threads on here about maladaptive daydreaming so it's worth a search if you haven't already.

Thatswhyimacat · 05/08/2022 21:55

Oh wow this is amazing. I'm a maladaptive daydreamer (I literally can't sleep at night unless I get into a good daydream. If my mind doesn't absorb into the dream I don't sleep). I've also got OCD and never realised the two might be connected. I definitely feel happier and less affected by OCD thoughts when I spend significant time daydreaming.

Jolinar · 05/08/2022 21:59

I'm really bad for this when stressed - usually intense celebrity crushes. I can barely think of other things. It happened a lot when I was a kid as well. I'm having a particularly bad period of it now and have recently started antidepressants to try and help as it's actually becoming quite intrusive.

Stylishkidintheriot · 05/08/2022 21:59

I’ve got both OCD and I’m a maladaptive daydreamer. I think it helps to keep my anxiety in check a bit

YellowHpok · 05/08/2022 22:00

I'm a maladaptive daydreamer. Have been since early childhood and as far as I'm aware I'm NT with no major trauma. I wasn't allowed to sit near windows at secondary school as I would just start out of them all the time daydreaming. I find it very calming and really enjoy it. I do have to be a bit strict about when I allow myself to do it.

Interestingly, when I had a period of burnout, I couldn't do it at all for months.

Jolinar · 05/08/2022 22:01

I'm NT (as far as I'm aware) and generally of good physical and mental health - very mild depression only.

DiamondVerneshot · 06/08/2022 16:22

I'm a lifelong maladaptive daydreamer, and honestly I've never had a problem with driving. Almost everyone mind-wanders while driving, and although maladaptive daydreaming is nothing like mind-wandering, in the context of driving I don't think it's any more or less dangerous.

I don't have OCD, but they do commonly go together. One study found that 54% of maladaptive daydreamers also have OCD - pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28598955/

If you're interested, I blog about maladaptive daydreaming. This link is to a post I wrote about other conditions that are frequently associated with maladaptive daydreaming - empowereddaydreamer.org/2022/04/12/other-conditions-that-tend-to-be-associated-with-maladaptive-daydreaming/

SirenSays · 06/08/2022 16:29

I don't have ocd I but was a maladaptive daydreamer for years. It got so bad sometimes that I'd stay up all night or refuse to go to school so I could daydream. It became harder to daydream as I got older and life got in the way and now my daydreams are just gone completely. I miss them.