To send dc to breakfast & after school club 5 days per week

[Gemma2022]

Just that really…
is it too much?

Echoing everyone saying if you need to for work then go for it.
If you don't then it's a bit shit and taking a place another family may really need?

Why would you start a thread with literally no background information?

Pointless.

I'm going to when mine starts in September. Not sure what else you can do when you work full time office hours🤷‍♀️

If that’s what you need to do, then that’s what you do. The Reception children can get really tired and emotional but they know they’re in a safe place and they settle with some quiet time.

If you work that's what you have to do
DCs adjust
Mine went 3 days a week all the days I worked and loved it, the only time they started to get bored was in Yr6. But they still went until secondary school.

Then the first went to childminder after school for first term and I realised there was no need as he often stayed for a school club and came straight home until I got home

Dd used to go to Creche for 8:30 am and I would collect around 5:30pm (but it could be up to the 6:30pm closing time if the day was bad at work).

When she went to school, it started at 8:30am near home so DH dropped her and cycled to work, I collected her from after school club between 6-6:30.

She was fine with that until she was in 5th class and it changed for other reasons (bullying) and she went to a different setting but never settled, in 6th clAss she did extracurriculars in school until 3, 3:30, 4 or 4:30 depending on the day, and went home herself after that (about 10 minutes walk).

I think if you have no choice, then full wrap around care if OK.

My DD has sometimes been in school 8.00am - 5.30pm from aged 4. Longer days are tiring and it does mean that in the evening there is little quality time with the DC - snack, reading and bedtime routine seemed to happen almost immediately from when we got in - but if you have no choice then just roll with it. I’d try to make weekends really special though and often quite relaxed as your DC will need some downtime.

I disagree with this statement entirely.

Either it is okay. Or it's not. The premise here is that it's not ideal, but if there's no other choice, that's fine.

I think it's fine no matter what. It won't help the OP if she "has no other choice" to feel she's doing what she must even though it's not okay.

OP - full day of childcare, if it's of high quality, is absolutely fine. What's important is that your children are cared for. You can and will have a perfectly good relationship with them even if the time you spend with them is limited to early mornings/late evenings and weekends.

Can you mix it up? A childminder perhaps?

Oldest DS did both from age of 3 to 9
It was all he knew as he was in private nursery 8 till 5 from 9 months.
He wasn't any more tired then his peers and enjoyed the play.

I had crazy mum guilt about this. Picked dc up very early on the first day and they cried asking to stay longer! Depends on your child but many love this.They don't see it as childcare because parents are working. It's extended play time for them.

Well, given that you know this thread will be read by 100s of women that do just that - are you criticising us?

If you have no other choice then you will have to. I would exhaust all other options first though. I think this is a very long time out of the house for young children. It works out longer than an average working day for most adults.

have you looked at a child minder for after school instead?

My kids loved it. Played with their friends, had snacks, got annoyed if I dropped them off late or picked them up too early.

The children who are so exhausted when they occasionally go are exhausted because they only go occasionally and aren’t used to it. Same as with 3 and 4 year olds - my DC at a private nursery coped perfectly fine with 8-4:30 and came out full of beans af the end of the day while my niece at a school nursery was exhausted by anything more than her usual 9-3. That’s translated to school too.

Getting into a regular and predictable routine is the main thing. And I agree that if possible a day or two finishing “early” is nice for them but no biggie if not possible.

I manage my school's wrap around care and many people to breakfast and after school 5 days. The kids love it, they can do all sorts of activities or just have quiet reading or ICT time. Agree that the ones who struggle most, which are very few, are the ad hoc ones who aren't used to it.

I had to do 5 days after school club from when my kids were 3&4 - so far they turned out as pretty decent (now 12/13 so those days are long gone). Yes they didn't 'love' it but it didn't hurt them either. Wasn't cheap either but look into chilldtax credit/or childcare vouchers/or UC top up if it's applicable.

Not every child finds school so exhausting. My DS would come home from after school club and go straight on the trampoline! He wasn't exhausted in the slightest. On the rare occasion I would finish work early then he would complain he hadn't had any time to play with his friends.

Do it and see if they adjust. I think most kids would be fine, they get used to it.

It depends. Why are you doing it?

Is it because you work and need the childcare, if that’s the case then YANBU.

Is it because the child loves it and the money it costs is easily affordable for you? Then YANBU.

If you don’t work and your child hates going then YABU.

People can’t really comment helpfully without more information.

Mine will be 3 and 5 (just) when they start at a school nursery and year 1. Both will be going to breakfast club and after school club because I just don't know how else to do it! I work in a school so I manage to balance it against having the holidays off, but I know this isn't possible for everyone and I wouldn't judge anyone who needed, or even just wanted for sanity's sake, to use childcare as often as it's open.

You have to do what's right for you and your family and your children will get into a routine soon enough.

There are people who are lucky enough to not have to use childcare, but there are also people who need to use it because they work, for their mental health or just because they get feee hours and why the hell not!

Don't let others make you feel guilty

I do it, even though I finish work at 3 a couple of times a week. It gives me time to get housework done while the house is empty.

Only on here have I seen so much angst about wraparound care. It is fine.

I am in no way saying that this is the wrong thing to do, but I would say if I knew these were going to be my circumstances I would want to check out the provision carefully, as some really aren’t great.

I’m going to be doing this from the end of August when I start a full-time job.
Single parent so no choice. Job is 9-5 (4.30 on a Friday), luckily commute is 5 minutes and we live across the road from the after-school club.
I doubt DD will be traumatised or so exhausted that I’ll need to carry her home?! Surely it’s normal for children to play with others.