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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Defer Operation or Not?

3 replies

toohotforthistwinmummy · 04/08/2022 10:31

DT's are 3 years old due to start school nursery in September (currently attend private nursery 1.5 days per week, we've already given notice that they are leaving so staying a bit longer isn't an option)

DT1 is due for an operation to remove tonsils, adenoids and to fit grommets. First op date was beginning of July, cancelled due to DT1 having a horrendous case of oral herpes. Op number 2 was for end of July - 2 days before DT1 developed a single coldsore on her lip - op cancelled.

New date has not been released yet but waiting list team (who have been fab) have said no availability in August and definitely not first week in September, but extremely likely to be the 2nd week of September.

DT's are due to start nursery on 8th Sept with their only settling in days being the 2 days prior (so 6th & 7th Sept)

I'm anxious about the possibility of DT2 starting nursery on her own as she is the less confident of the 2 and would definitely find comfort with her sister being there.

My head says just take the first date given and don't consider deferring a couple of weeks

My heart says that if they both had a couple of weeks in their new nursery DT2 would be happy to stay on her own and DT1 would be happy to go back after her op - BUT the massive risk there is that she catches some bug from mixing with all new children and then the op gets cancelled again.

What would you do?

YABU - take the first date offered
YANBU - settle them in nursery for a couple of weeks

OP posts:
SparklyLeprechaun · 04/08/2022 10:36

You're overthinking this. The operation is a priority.

If the children have been in nursery for a while now, changing settings is not going to be as massive a thing as you're imagining (my kids have been in 3 nurseries, they only had settling in days the first time they went - that's the way life works sometimes).

Craftybodger · 04/08/2022 10:53

I agree that the op is the priority. How much notice of the op will you get? Might it be possible to delay the start of nursery if the op falls in September? It sounds as if they need to be together to start and mixing with a whole new group is bound to bring new bugs.

toohotforthistwinmummy · 04/08/2022 10:57

Thanks for your replies, I definitely am overthinking it!

I'm hoping to find out the date next week so will have about 4 weeks notice, unless I get offered a cancellation but that's looking unlikely.

OP posts:
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