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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boyfriend said he was leaving two hours ago

22 replies

plantseverywhere · 04/08/2022 03:06

Please be kind!

I am at my boyfriend’s and he’s out. He works in a bar and I fell asleep around midnight. I just woke up and he texted me saying he was leaving at 1. He isn’t back and hasn’t been online since. Not replying to any messages or when I rang him.

He isn’t a drinker plus we have to get the train to an event tomorrow. It is really, really unlike him to send a text like that and then not actually leave. He is able to text me when at work as well, it’s not like he can’t have his phone.

He’s obviously just decided to go and get drunk with his friends or something right??? I literally do not care if he’s back late or if he’s hungover tomorrow this is just so out of character and I’m on my own! I don’t suffer from anxiety or anything either.

OP posts:
portinahurry · 04/08/2022 03:25

Can't you call him?

Original poster
plantseverywhere · 04/08/2022 03:26

portinahurry · 04/08/2022 03:25

Can't you call him?

I have, it just rings to voice mail

OP posts:
Iceicebaby123 · 04/08/2022 03:42

Hi OP,
Maybe message a work colleague of his?

portinahurry · 04/08/2022 03:45

I'm not sure there is much you can do but wait. There could be lots of reasons why he's not home but still safe, worrying is never helpful but it's hard not to worry when you don't know. Could you call his work? Has he been online lately? I'm sorry you're going through this I hope he's being an idiot and drinking late and not calling so as not to wake you. If you know there is nothing you can do now then try to get some sleep.

sausage767 · 04/08/2022 03:47

Why do you immediately jump to him going out drinking? Is he generally unreliable and says things he's not going to do?

If it were my husband I would be worried sick something had happened to him. In fact, it did once he wasn't home from a bike ride when he said he would be and didn't answer my calls and it turned out he'd had an accident.

CakeCrumbs44 · 04/08/2022 03:50

Have you checked the whole house? My husband did this once and I was panicking he had got into an accident or something, but he had fallen asleep on the sofa!

41andtryingforfirst · 04/08/2022 03:50

Totally understandable to worry but I think he's out drinking with friends. If anything had happened then someone would have contacted you by now/answered the phone when you called. It's probably noisy and he can't hear the phone or it's on silent. Please keep us posted - hope you're ok x

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/08/2022 03:50

How does he generally get home?

Iceicebaby123 · 04/08/2022 03:51

CakeCrumbs44 · 04/08/2022 03:50

Have you checked the whole house? My husband did this once and I was panicking he had got into an accident or something, but he had fallen asleep on the sofa!

Oh sorry but this made me lol xx

Original poster
plantseverywhere · 04/08/2022 03:51

sausage767 · 04/08/2022 03:47

Why do you immediately jump to him going out drinking? Is he generally unreliable and says things he's not going to do?

If it were my husband I would be worried sick something had happened to him. In fact, it did once he wasn't home from a bike ride when he said he would be and didn't answer my calls and it turned out he'd had an accident.

No, he’s incredibly reliable. He never says he’ll do something if he doesn’t. He’s never let me down before.

OP posts:
SummerNightsDriftingAway · 04/08/2022 03:53

sausage767 · 04/08/2022 03:47

Why do you immediately jump to him going out drinking? Is he generally unreliable and says things he's not going to do?

If it were my husband I would be worried sick something had happened to him. In fact, it did once he wasn't home from a bike ride when he said he would be and didn't answer my calls and it turned out he'd had an accident.

I think OP is HOPING he's out drinking and not had a bad accident!

OP - suggest as PP have to message his work place etc. Is he meant to be driving home from work? How far away is his work place?

41andtryingforfirst · 04/08/2022 03:56

Maybe a bad suggestion but would this help?

https://www.celltrack.co.uk/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4cuoxJes-QIVkOd3Ch1BCQ-SEAAYAyAAEgIsdDD_BwE

WishIWasOnHolidayAgain · 04/08/2022 03:58

Hope everything is ok op and he's home soon x

Original poster
plantseverywhere · 04/08/2022 03:59

CakeCrumbs44 · 04/08/2022 03:50

Have you checked the whole house? My husband did this once and I was panicking he had got into an accident or something, but he had fallen asleep on the sofa!

Yes I have, I actually thought of this!!! He’s literally just got in - work kicked off, apparently, very drunk people etc. He walked home with some colleagues and didn’t check his phone.

He’s not drunk at all so it’s not like it’s an excuse for a sinking session. Thank you everyone!

OP posts:
41andtryingforfirst · 04/08/2022 04:00

Ah such a relief for you! Glad all is ok x

MrsTerryPratchett · 04/08/2022 04:03

Awwww I like when there's a nice outcome.

sausage767 · 04/08/2022 04:04

I'd still give him a bollocking for making you worry, then throw myself on him in sheer relief!

Original poster
plantseverywhere · 04/08/2022 04:05

Thank you all so so much for commenting. It’s not like me to worry - if he hadnt said he was leaving I wouldn’t have thought twice about it! I really appreciate your comments. Xx

OP posts:
Original poster
plantseverywhere · 04/08/2022 04:09

sausage767 · 04/08/2022 04:04

I'd still give him a bollocking for making you worry, then throw myself on him in sheer relief!

I did say please never do that again! Just don’t tell me you’re leaving and I will be none the wiser! I know these things happen but at least bloody check your phone on the way home when all the drama is over 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
sausage767 · 04/08/2022 04:14

@plantseverywhere if it's any consolation, when my DH had his accident, I just knew something was terribly wrong. He'd forgotten to message me when he'd come home from a ride before, and other instances which didn't really cause me to seriously worry.

But this time I knew. I logged out of my work computer, and was pacing around the office waiting for the inevitable call from the hospital A&E.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be concerned, but 99.9 times out of 100 it turns out to be exactly what happened, thankfully.

portinahurry · 04/08/2022 04:34

Glad he's home safe!

Clarinet1 · 04/08/2022 09:12

Reminds me of the time when I couldn’t get hold of my DM on the phone. I usually rang her when I finished work about 5. She was fairly elderly and had only recently had a heart scare and was awaiting investigation so obviously I was worried. I lived 10-15 miles from her and don’t drive so going round would probably have been an over-reaction but I kept trying calling throughout the evening. Eventually I called the police who went to check on her and let me know she was fine; This was now about midnight. Shortly after DM called me “Oh I thought it was funny you hadn’t rung”!

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