Oh is a tradesman and often goes to the pub after work (roughly 3 times a week). He generally starts early and finishes between 3-4. He works 5 days a week, I work 3 days a week 10-3 out of the house and have to do an hour or so once the kids are in bed.
I do all school/childcare drop offs in the morning.
Sometimes it's a rush for me to get back for school pick ups as I have to get my youngest from one school at 3.20 and my other child from another school at 3.30. I just about get back from work in time but it's a rush. I sometimes use childcare until 4 to make it a bit easier.
Often my oh has finished work and while rushing to get the kids I see him sitting in the pub.
Today the kids were at holiday club until 3.30 when it closed. I asked to leave work 15 minutes early to make sure I was back in time as a road had been closed. On my way back I drove past my oh in the pub. He doesn't understand why this makes me cross? Surely he should ring me to see if I need any help before going to the pub? My argument is that I can never just choose to pop somewhere after work, not even to get a bit of food shopping.
I've said it would be polite to ring me and just check before he goes. He said that's embarrassing in front of his mates. My other compromise was him having a set day where I know he's going to the pub so I won't feel angry when I see him there. He said that's controlling.
If he's working of course I'll rush to get the kids but I'm struggling with accepting rushing about while he's sitting in the pub ......am I being unreasonable?
For context he doesn't go out much apart from this. I don't go out much either but probably more than him at the weekends.