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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be absolutely furious?

19 replies

MellaY · 03/08/2022 17:29

My partner has had a bill from HMRC to the tune of around £1700, this is due to him not filing his tax returns as he registered for self assessment back in 2017 for a job he didn't end up doing. Its an issue in itself but the kicker is that two years ago he had the same letter and said he had spoken to HMRC and sorted it back then. He's now claiming to not remember the letter or apparently having sorted it back then. I am absolutely livid with him. It feels like he's just dragging me down with him and all his stupid financial decisions to the point in seriously reconsidering our relationship.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 03/08/2022 17:30

Can he afford it?
are your finances combined?

Original poster
MellaY · 03/08/2022 17:32

No he cannot and neither can I. Our finances are not combined, fortunately for me.

OP posts:
DenholmElliot1 · 03/08/2022 17:32

I think it all depends on whether or not your finances are joined.

To us, £1700 would be the difference between having a fabulous holiday or not having one, so I can see why you're furious.

AuntieDolly · 03/08/2022 18:04

Is it tax that is due or a penalty? Surely if he didn't do the self employed job he won't owe any tax

Tellmewhyaintnothinbutaheartbreak · 03/08/2022 18:06

Is it a failure to notify?

If he’s not done any work that drags him into SA then speak to HMRC to let them know that. It may be the case that they can take him out of SA and stop this. That is of course only if he is PAYE and has definitely not done anything to warrant filing a tax return

Plumtreebob · 03/08/2022 18:07

Definitely get them to call him. They may waive all of some of it at least.

Plumtreebob · 03/08/2022 18:08

I mean get him to call them 🤦‍♀️

lastminutedotcom22 · 03/08/2022 18:13

MellaY · 03/08/2022 17:32

No he cannot and neither can I. Our finances are not combined, fortunately for me.

If your finances aren't combined it's not really your problem it's his responsibility. I'd be annoyed if I had a joint account and potentially my wages were going towards paying it but they aren't and as you don't have shared finances but if it's separate nothing to do with you.

I agree tho - he should phone them up and see what he can agree he'll be able to pay it off monthly on a payment plan I'm sure they must have people in this situation all the time

yonce · 03/08/2022 18:17

Back in 2017? I'd imagine he's had multiple reminder letters / letters of the fees for failing to file, and either ignored them, or sorted it and HMRC has made a mistake. My OH isn't self employed, and still has to fill one in every year. It got messed up one year and he had multiple reminders (and he rang them each time) so I'd find it strange they're only contacting now five years later.

Thesefeetaremadeforwalking · 03/08/2022 18:20

Doesn't he have an accountant to sort out these matters for him?
If not, he needs to get one pronto.

Original poster
MellaY · 03/08/2022 19:27

He doesn't have an accountant and he isn't self employed. He was never self employed- he set self assessment in anticipation of starting a self employed driving role back in 2017 (this predates us even knowing each other!) which he never did. He hadn't been making any money through self employment and has been paid through PAYE only.

We had a single letter 2 years ago which he was meant to have dealt with. I think he has a habit of ignoring financial problems in the hopes they will go away

OP posts:
Original poster
MellaY · 03/08/2022 19:29

I'm so effing cross with him for lying about it 2 years ago. He's currently denying he ever got the letter back then but I remember it vividly. I currently feel sick to my stomach about it and very tearful to be honest, I remember feeling the same back then too.

OP posts:
Original poster
MellaY · 03/08/2022 19:31

Tellmewhyaintnothinbutaheartbreak · 03/08/2022 18:06

Is it a failure to notify?

If he’s not done any work that drags him into SA then speak to HMRC to let them know that. It may be the case that they can take him out of SA and stop this. That is of course only if he is PAYE and has definitely not done anything to warrant filing a tax return

I believe so, he didn't report anything at all at the end of that tax year and is being penalised for it.

OP posts:
whoami24601 · 03/08/2022 19:47

Not necessarily his issue. DH was self employed as a bouncer for a while. When he stopped he notified HMRC but they sent him penalty letters for late tax returns for about 5 years! Every year he had to ring them and they just used to cancel it.

MerylSqueak · 03/08/2022 19:58

whoami24601 · 03/08/2022 19:47

Not necessarily his issue. DH was self employed as a bouncer for a while. When he stopped he notified HMRC but they sent him penalty letters for late tax returns for about 5 years! Every year he had to ring them and they just used to cancel it.

Yes. I have exactly this issue also. I've told them multiple times in multiple ways that I am no longer self employed. They say they have altered everything. Next year comes around: statements, complaints, emails, letters telling them again. I get fined. I complain. They refund my fines.

It's infuriating.

MerylSqueak · 03/08/2022 19:58

whoami24601 · 03/08/2022 19:47

Not necessarily his issue. DH was self employed as a bouncer for a while. When he stopped he notified HMRC but they sent him penalty letters for late tax returns for about 5 years! Every year he had to ring them and they just used to cancel it.

Yes. I have exactly this issue also. I've told them multiple times in multiple ways that I am no longer self employed. They say they have altered everything. Next year comes around: statements, complaints, emails, letters telling them again. I get fined. I complain. They refund my fines.

It's infuriating.

Discovereads · 03/08/2022 19:59

It’s quite a jump to assume he’s lying. He may simply not remember the letter from 2yrs ago and that he had called HMRC. Even if it’s not an error, and it likely is, £1700 is hardly the end of the world.

I think you are being a bit of a drama llama too. It doesn’t affect you or your finances for one. Secondly HMRC is notorious for making errors. I’ve had at least four errors of theirs that I’ve had to fix in the past decade:


  • Sent me a tax bill for over £7k because they forgot to apply my foreign tax relief credit, so had to call and have my tax return re-looked at.

  • Sent me a tax fine saying I’d not done my tax return, when I had theyd simply not gotten around to processing it yet and so they cancelled the fine

  • Sent me a tax bill for £18.14 that was laughably wrong as it was too low, so had that fixed.

  • Sent me a letter saying they owed me over £3k which fell into the too good to be true category of HMRC letters. I called and HMRC doubled down and said, yep that was the credit I was due and they were going to deposit it in my account. I told them please hold off because they could roll it over and apply to the next years taxes which were coming due. They agreed. Sure enough 2 months later I get a letter of apology from someone high up in HMRC saying they’d made an error and did not owe me over £3k , but in fact I owed them £400 or so. Which I gladly paid because that sounded more realistic to me.

RightsHoardingRaptor · 03/08/2022 20:11

If he didn't work on the Self employed job he doesn't owe anything. Sounds like an error

pigeonstreet123 · 03/08/2022 20:54

He can write a letter and explain and also say the fee is ridiculous in relation to the crime- as ot were. Contest it

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