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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or am i in the wrong here?

6 replies

Unreasonable1 · 03/08/2022 13:46

So my DP took our daughter out for a treat day trip to a local theme park followed by an overnight stay in a hotel as for her it’s the magic of doing something different. Spending Daddy time etc (Hotel only 40 minutes from home) With the plan to spend the following day in the hotel located town to goto soft play etc. She is 7.

DP at around mid day, messages to say that they will come home early as DD wants to come home.

I planned to goto have lunch whilst shopping with DS, collect a toy from someones house and then goto a park nearby.

DH messages back saying the DD would like to goto as well and asks if its ok?

I said ‘Yes’ that we were going to leave now but we will hold on.

DH offered to meet at the supermarket to make it easier on us as it was on his route home. I missed the message as was playing games with DS.

As i missed the message, i redirected DH home and he said how much she missed me and was a little tired and wanted to spend time with me which was nice.

I explained that i needed to collect this toy at 12:30-1pm. He said he would have met at supermarket still and I could have passed the details on and he could have collected it.

I ended up getting irate and told my DH off for changing plans and that i expected him to be having DD till dinner time whilst he goes Soft Play or something nice.

He sorta walked away from making a tea and asked ‘not now please’ sorta thing.

Anyway i’m thinking where i’m run down and tired. I don’t think these situations through as they happen every so often and i’m not sure if I was unreasonable?

Also my DP said he only had about 2 hours sleep last night as beds were very uncomfortable and he was tired too.

He collected the toy for me and also offered to take the children to the park after lunch and shopping.

It just annoyed me him changing plans although i agreed to it.🤦‍♀️ I did tell him i was considering saying ‘no’ and he replied saying ‘you should have said that then.

I think the holidays is getting to me. The heat also.

OP posts:
Dotjones · 03/08/2022 13:49

So let me get this straight.


  1. You had plans

  2. You both agreed to change them

  3. He's wrong but doesn't want an argument


Doesn't sound like he's wrong, certainly.

Cognacsoft · 03/08/2022 13:54

Its just basic lack of communication.
We all do it.
You should have made clear that you had plans and dd was his responsibility until tea time.
Dh should not have rung to ask you to be there for dd.
You’re both tired.
Let it go and be more specific next time.

Idontthink · 03/08/2022 13:57

You told your adult husband off! Really. He’s not a child
you missed a message brocade you were playing with your son well aren’t you just wonderful. Your daughter and husband cut a trip a few hours short and you got in a mood because of this. oh but it’s the heat that making you grumpy. What are you like when other plans are changed at short notice

Unreasonable1 · 03/08/2022 14:02

I see it now, DD was wanting to see me as i he said she was homesick and wanted me. We had a FaceTime whilst they walked back from the restaurant last night.

I did make it clear during the moment i got a little angry that it was his responsibility today. As PP said, we both agreed. Thing is i should have said ‘No’ and he’d have just carried on.

OP posts:
easyday · 03/08/2022 14:04

This is such a non issue. You agreed to the change. You missed his message but after explaining he went and collected the toy and said he'd take the kids out.
Jeez if it was going to put you out then you should have said no.
You are in the wrong here.

CoalCraft · 03/08/2022 14:09

You agreed to change the plan 🤷

You should have just said "sorry, no, I'm busy with DS till xx time" when he initially asked.

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