Some background, I live overseas with husband & toddler - my husband had a mental breakdown 9 months ago, he was suicidal for 3 months, could not function, could only say the same thing 'over and over again' - no other conversation for 3-4 months, like he was stuck on a loop. He spent 6 weeks in a psychiatric clinic and is now making good progress with his recovery - has returned to work, can function, be a husband/dad. It was a really tough time for all of us, I spent Christmas alone overseas with my 1 year old, we visited my husband in the clinic on Christmas day, and most days.
Just as my husband started to get better in March/April my mum (in the UK) got diagnosed with bladder cancer. I've been flying over every month/6 weeks to see her and shes already had one op - I spent 2 weeks with her then. Now she needs to have her bladder removed in a few weeks - she will be in hospital for at least 7 days.
My dilemma and I'm fully prepared for a backlash if Mumsnetters think i'm being unreasonable because i'm wondering if i am myself. My husband and I booked a family holiday the 2 weeks before my mums op - its a much needed break in light of whats happened not to mention we have not had a holiday since pre pandemic and I just wanted a bit of respite before flying back to the UK to take care of my mum for 2/3 weeks post op. Last week one of the villas we booked for the 1st week of the 2week break was cancelled by the owner. There are no other properties available for that week but we could tag on a week after but this would mean a potential overlap after my mums op if she's sent home after 7 days. I should add the week booked thats not cancelled is with friends. The nurses have said that they used to keep patients in for 2 weeks but now its cut down to 7 days (presumably they want the beds). Last time she was home she was kept in an extra 3 days but it was a different op. Her closest friend has said she can stay with her until I come over. I can probably stay a max of 2-3 weeks so would prefer to be there when I can help the most, I will be taking my son (20months) with me as I have done for all the other trips so it will be tough but we manage.
So my question is - would I be the worst daughter in the world to take the 2 week break and if my mum comes out of hospital after 7 days she stays with her friend. I think it's likely she will be in for at least 10 days. She has requested we don't visit her in hospital because I'll have my son with me and doesn't want him to pick up any bugs and its a 40 min drive away. She also wants us to be available after for when she needs help.
Just a bit fed up with everything and was really looking forward to our first family break away but that's life, shit happens. We still have the week with friends - I think i was just excited to have some family time alone.