Partner ruined our day

[Sparkles20]

I've posted in here a few times about my partner. I'm ending it with her after today..... feel so empty and upset.

Today was the last day before my DS goes on holiday abroad for a week for with dad. I wanted it to be a nice day. We went to an adventure park in my area. She was off with me from the get go.

She was picking at my DS who's 6 asking him what he's done for me this morning and then reeling off loads of stuff that her daughter done this morning and really praising her in front of us.

My DS made a friend on the play area and her DD didn't want to play with them so walked off and she admitted this. My partner then kept digging at my DS, kept walking off and leaving us and wouldn't reply when I spoke to her. I asked her 3 times to not leave us, she heard as she stopped and then carried on walking. I asked her for a quiet word, asked why she's being unkind she said she wasn't doing anything. I walk in front turn around and her and her daughter are whispering.

So I said you are being unkind and this is ruining the day, she claimed she was innocent and had done nothing wrong but was smirking so i walked off and havent spoken or seen her since. How can a grown woman be mean to a 6 year old.

I think today was the last straw and I can't carry on with her anymore.

This morning I feel numb and emotionless. I guess I don't know which emotion to feel.

Just part of the process. Give it a couple to weeks and you'll be ok.

Allow yourself to grieve (even if you wanted it over), feel the emotion & then move on.

Well done for putting your child first. Some people don't.

Sounds like you've done absolutely the right thing . Hope you can find some time for yourself today .. once your passed this stage you can let it go with relief at not having to compromise anymore

That’s understandable. The end of any relationship (even less than ideal ones) can be hard. Hope you are able to take some time and do something nice for yourself over the coming days.

You've done exactly the right thing. Is she calculated enough to do this in the timings with your ds going away? Will you be on your own at home and she's done this in a perverse way to make you off kilter?
Definitely agree with the blocking!

I really wouldn't put it past her. She knew how upset I was about DS going away abroad with his dad for the first time. She hasn't exactly been comforting over that either.
I actually think she likes seeing me upset and hurting me.

Sounds like you've done the right thing!

Once the dust settles and you feel lonely don't go back. Your DS needs to be nurtured and loved. Your partner clearly doesn't like him even if she says she does.

Thank you, she's messaged me and I'm ignoring it. I'm trying to stay strong and break the pattern.
The anger is wearing off and I'm beginning to feel sad. But I know she's not good for me or my DS

Glad you ended things, definitely the best thing for everyone involved. She needs to grow up.

You should stay away from relationships altogether until you develop your self-esteem and become educated on what abusive relationships look like.
This relationship ending is the best thing that could have happened! Your child deserves to have kind people around him, and so do you.

OP I really think you need to block her, cut all ties and make sure she can no longer contact you at all, don’t let her try to pull you back in after the way she has treated you both. You deserve much more!

I really hope you mean what you say and don't go back to her but I don't like where this is heading......

You have a responsibility to make your son happy, safe and secure, your social life comes second till he can make his own way in the world. Yeah you may love her but surely your love for your son is stronger?

Well that's exactly what she wants, youre sad and a bit lonely without your son there so she knows this is the right time to get you. Block her! Did her message apologise and acknowledge her awful behaviour?

Your poor little boy being bullied by your partner.

She deliberately wanted to spoil your time with him before he left.

Poor child.
Awful behaviour.

You write that you don't want him to be abused like you were, well why would you allow her to be unkind more than once?

Just block her.

Of course my love for my DS is stronger. I would do anything for him! I don't want him to grow up like I did.

I do feel sad but I also will always put his needs before mine.

She surprisingly did apologise and acknowledge the way she acted wasn't OK. Which never happens!

She then went on to blame feeling anxious because she drove past this junction that she had an accident at years ago and apparently she gets awful flash backs. I've driven past this junction with her a few times, not once after this did she transform into this horrible person and abuse me or my DS. So what an absolute load of BS.

I've ignored it. Her excuse is laughable

There is no "I will always put my sons needs before mine" if her awful behaviour has been going on for some time and you know she is not good for you and your child.

That you think she likes to see you upset.
She is abusive.

Clearly that is not the case if you have been putting up with this behaviour for a while and it is surprising that she apologised.

You need to focus on how unkind she was to your small child when you feel sad.

You need to put your son first.

Actions not words are what counts.

Block that abusive woman.

What a terrible way to behave from her.
6 year olds are so lovely, its a great age, movong towards independence and self aware, to have a bully hurt them at this age is awful.
Block her, she brings no joy to his or your life.

So she's realised gone too far and you're escaping her and she wants to reel you back in!

Yes but it's not working. As I've said before in done my DS come first.

She's using the same script as my ex (ds dad)

Just like to say I am aware it was abusive. I am in counselling as I have been for quite a few years now and I want to break the cycle and find healthy people eventually in my life.

She's horrible get rid

Anxiety or not you don’t take it out on a defenceless 6 year old child. She’s fucking horrible, keep her away from your poor ds.

Thank goodness you have put your child first!

When she is trying to manipulate her way back into your life, remember every shitty thing she's done to your child and remind yourself you don't need a relationship more than your child needs to be protected from people who like to treat him like shit.

And maybe write them all down so you can't start telling yourself it wasn't that bad, your son didn't really notice, she didn't mean to and all the other minimising shit people tell themselves when they want to try to justify going back.

💐