To think this is normal?

[themimi]

I genuinely want to know if I'm wrong here... at Easter, I had covid and so when BIL and SIL came over it was as case of DH having to meet them with DS in park. DS is 9 and nephew is 3. As I understand it, DS played with cousin (nephew) for a bit and then saw a friend from football in the park and ask dad if he could go off and play. DH said yes and DH then played with 3 year old for a bit. DH told me after the SIL got the hump that DS wasn't playing with his cousin. Now, months later, MIL tells me that SIL mentioned it to her. I think SIL is being ridiculous. Of course my 9 year old son isn't interested in playing any length of time with a 3 year old.
That's totally normal. He wasn't unkind in any way just saw children his own age. I think this is SIL having PFB syndrome. Am I wrong?

It’s absolutely normal for your son to want to play with his friend, rather than a child 6 years younger.

It's totally normal. Why wouldn't he want to go and play with his friends his age? She is definitely being PFB.

Yes PFB maybe, but honestly move on. Not sure why MIL mentioned it, it's hardly likely to happen again.

You know the answer to this so what’s the point of this? You can’t need the validation that bad?

Did they travel far to visit?

Perfectly normal behaviour. Is SIL actually upset about it though, or just commenting on it? Perhaps it was just relevant in the course of her conversation with MIL - eg “yes they played nicely for a bit but then eldest went to play with a friend.”

You say they "came over" which suggests to me they aren't local and their family came to visit your family for the day ?
In which case I think your dh and ds should have both spent that time together with your visitors.

I mean, your SiL still talking about it 4 months later seems somewhat extreme, but your dh should have said no to ds, and reminded him you had visitors so weren't available to go of with his friends at that time.

I agree with @Kite22, if the SIL lives far away or the cousins don't meet often then your DS should have really been asked to make a bit of effort. He can see his friend anytime. If you see them often then she is being VU.

It's weird to have held onto it for so long eitjer way.

Perfectly normal. My DD is 9 and DN is 14. I wouldn't expect him to play with her for hours at that age and now I wouldn't expect him to hang out with her loads.

Totally normal for a nine-year-old to go off and play with a friend.

A nine-year-old can't really play 'with' a three-year-old. Inevitably it would just be the nine-year-old just ending up having to entertain the three-year-old, in much the same way that an adult would have to entertain him. Fine to expect an adult to sit for ages playing the same, boring, toddler-appropriate games with a little child, or to have to keep thinking of ways to keep a three-year-old happy. But it's not fine to expect a nine-year-child to do the same - they are also a child, and they shouldn't have to be responsible for keeping a toddler busy.