To think this is weird??

[fluffydoglover27]

I work in hospitality and have noticed that lots of tables - typically 2/3 people - will sit for the entire meal with out talking at all and just staring at their phones! We took a booking for a lovely couple yesterday and they sat down and both got out a phone and looked at it until I brought the food over - they ate in silence - and then as soon as i cleared the plates they got out their phones again!

They were perfectly happy to chat to me when they ordered and I brought food but not to each other! (this even weirder as it was their anniversary)

Personally, for me going out for a nice meal has always been a social event where phones are only out to take a quick family photo/look up a question that we are discussing etc but definitely not for more than a moment or so

I just think that especially going out for a sit down meal I am paying for the food but also for the experience and the ambiance

so AIBU...

YABU - perfectly normal to spend a sit-down meal in silence/on phone

YANBU - wouldn't spend money on food out just to sit in silence

So strange yanbu

YANBU

So strange but you see it more and more. Even at a family party this last weekend we had this. I prefer to enjoy myself with the people I'm with, yes take a phone out to snap a few photos if it's a special occasion etc but other than that just speak to the people who are there!

Not the phones, but I think our family eat in silence a lot. DH thinks companionable silence is nice. I get frustrated and feel we are missing something sometimes.

Autism is probably part of it for us. DH tends to get irritated by "social chit chat" .

I often wonder if people see and judge. From the OP, I guess so!

I work away from home quite a lot and that involves eating out with colleagues, most of the day we have spent all day together and when we sit down its chance to catch up with loved ones and chill our reading news on our phones.

I have no doubt we are mistaken for couples at times, so no its not weird to me.

We were out for a meal recently and at the next table were a mum and dad with their toddler son. The parents were on their phones the entire meal and didn't speak to each other or their child once. Unbelievable and sad.

So sad to see parents not interacting with their children.
So often now I see adults pushing a buggy, on their phone and having no chat with the child.

DH and I probably get judged for this, but I have autism and can struggle to have conversations in busy or crowded restaurants as I find it really overwhelming to have so much noise going on around me.

We do talk but very quietly and the phone is a good distraction for me.

We do this.

Often seen when walking into a pub or restaurant. Friends or couples sat round a table staring at their phones. No conversation. Saddest of all is parents starting at phones while young children tug at their sleeve for attention and are ignored.
I worry for youngsters nowadays and so glad there were no smartphones when mine were growing up

*staring at phones!!

I’m not sure you can judge them a “lovely couple”.
They may be bored with each other - anniversary or not - and both find their phones more interesting, and less awkward than sitting in uncomfortable silence.

Also autistic with autistic husband and child. We've been judged before but we're all just regulating ourselves.

I really don't see how it is anyones business. You are seeing a fraction of the picture. My husband took me out for lunch when my mum was in hospital for a while and I had just visited. I was sitting texting people to let them know what was happening and he caught up on work emails. Doesn't mean we don't have a good relationship or never talk. Similarly if my kids have a screen at dinner, it's usually because we have been out the whole day interacting! If I am on my phone at the park, I am taking some time to myself that I desperately need.

Yep. I took DS out for lunch when he was around 10/11. He was looking at his phone screen the whole time, earphones in too. I picked up my phone and browsed. To the casual observer we were just ignoring each other in favour of technology. In reality DS hadn't been out for about 18 months, other than to school, and it was a massive achievement for him. I felt sad because I knew people would be making judgement but that didn't take away the elation I felt that I had managed to get DS out for a simple lunch date. He used his phone to keep calm and regulate, I used mine because it was there and I had absolutely no expectations of DS and I conversing at that point. He is 19 and will happily chat with me over lunch now, probably because I allowed him to develop those skills in his own time.

Stop judging people. Please.

You are seeing a fraction of the picture.

Exactly this. Unless you're stalking me, you don't know if this is someone I've met for lunch (much talking), or someone I'm spending 24/7 with (probably phones whilst seated).

Also, would you feel better if the people were reading a book or a newspaper, rather than a phone?

It’s only going to get worse.
Kids are being brought up to use phones and tablets in restaurants now.

Depends.on the relationship of the people, e.g. Intelligence operatives, checking mission updates or new intelligence

For me,.I'm using satellite intelligence usually.

I went for dinner with my husband several years ago. This woman was sat at the table talking on her phone about her child, the child was with her, the whole conversation was about the child's speech and language problems. She never once spoke to the child. Not a word. Although, she did complain the child's lack of vocabulary.

YANBU. I can sit at home and ignore you. O don't need to go out to do that.

DH and I enjoy reading the newspaper on our tablets when we are eating breakfast at a restaurant, it's a companionable activity.
The comedian Romesh Ranganathan does a whole routine about why having the whole world available on his smartphone, is obviously more interesting to interact with when he is eating out than his DW. It's very funny (and a bit true).

Me and DP are probably quite guilty of this but we are usually eating a meal after spending time together out walking or other outdoor stuff so by the time we eat we are both happy to catch up on emails or in his case sports results and news.