Aibu struggling with this tho I left him

[Lolabray]

My ex who I left for various reasons lives around the corner. I’m finding it difficult as I see his car/him all the time especially as he parks his car at the local pub.

i feel like I can’t escape. He’s started a relationship with the barmaid.

although I don’t want him back this hurts as I actually thought it would be the man I’d end up with for life. But we were on different planets.

it is also hard seeing them barmaid / him outside the pub I have no choice to go past as this is my route to work , shops motorway etc.

just need a little support feel stressed with like skeletons of past still hanging around.

thanks

How long ago did you split? Was it relatively recent?

If so, then I think what you're describing is completely normal and understandable. It will fade over time, but it will be hard at first.

Obviously you're not going to want to move house over this, so I think you just have to keep reminding yourself that you left him and that there were very good reasons for that. Think of it not as a failed relationship, but as a burden you've freed yourself of. He's someone else's problem now, and that's a good thing, not a bad one. You were strong and you did the right thing, and ultimately you'll be happier for it.

@10HailMarys beginning of the year. I think you are right. I will not move home because of this as my sons are at school. It’s just like the skeletons of the past keep popping up and he loves putting it on Facebook yet two months ago he loved me and wanted to marry me. The man is messed up.

I think blocking, or at least deleting, him off Facebook would be a good idea. You can't always avoid seeing him out and about, but you can avoid the extra stress of seeing him online.

Well yes, two months ago he loved you and wanted to marry you, and then you dumped him. That may have made him go off you ever so slightly.

You ended it, he has a right to get over you and move forward with someone else.

Block him on social media, delete his phone number if you've still got it and move on.

Your right. I don’t want him and don’t want to be with him. Deep down I did love him but it got toxic

fdgdfgdfgdfg I ended it in January told him it’s over, he was a drunk who Had been on plenty of fish after 4 years of being with me.

It's pretty silly to keep looking at his Facebook nonsense, isn't it? It's not doing you any favours.

If you allow it, you'll be over him quickly. He was all wrong for you.

I’m not looking at his Facebook and haven’t since we broke up People are telling me.

I think it’s normal to have these types of feelings - it doesn’t mean you want him back but then also, you don’t want it all thrust in your face every day!

The only advice I can give is try to focus on the things you really enjoy and building a life you love and is full without him in it. It’s a cliche but taking up a new hobby, it doesn’t have to be anything major but I started listening to podcasts on my drives and walks and it really really helps distract some of my more negative thoughts. Maybe try an online course in something you enjoy (can be a free one!), pick up some new books, take up some form of exercise etc

it’s not about changing your life, just filling those spaces with really positive and rewarding things so you literally don’t have time or space to entertain thoughts about your ex and his life.

He is none of your concern now, it doesn’t matter what he does in the future or did or didn’t do in the past. The only thing you need to be concerned with is what you’re doing to keep your life going in a positive and healthy direction.

and when people bring him up to you just politely change the subject (or not so politely) “oh yeah that’s good for him, anyway let’s change the subject” or just state out loud - “to be honest I’m not really interested in hearing about ex, so can we draw a line, thanks”

Tell these people that you don't want to hear about him.

Then it sounds like he was over you while you were still together then, let alone two months later.

You're better off out of this relationship, and you'll be better off still once you forget he exists.

fdgdfgdfgdfg No not all . We havent been together since I ended it beginning of year. He would turn up drunk knocking at the door this is when he said this and I told him to stop turning up.

Thanks to all that replied. I did love him dearly once probably still strangely have some love there but know it hasn’t worked out and I deserve better so cannot be with him,