To have yelled at ds and dh and shut myself in the office ....... and what do I do now?

[clumsymum]

Honestly it's like having 2 6 year-olds !! DS is 8, DH 45

They cannot get on together. Ds tries to wind dh up. Dh allows it to get to him (despite my repeated requests not to) and then becomes exasperated, speaks to him in a tone of voice which absolutely gets my back up, and it all gets worse.

Been going on for weeks is esp. bad at weekends, when they try to play together on the Wii but can't resist trying to tell each other how to do it.

Anyway after gritting my teeth for 3 weekends, I have finally snapped, told them both to stop it. Explained LOUDLY what I am upset about, and flounced into the office (at home), telling them both that I must not be disturbed. Am seriously thinking of growling if either of them open the door.

I would have walked out of the house, but only place to go is the supermarket, and we were all supposed to go together (ds gets a Beano for helping), so I'm damned if I'm letting them off the hook.

Am I being unreasonable,

And when and how do I come out.

Will use the time waiting for replies sorting out the sh*t heap that is supposed to be my desk.

I can certainly sympathise with you over that tone of voice used which gets your back up!

My dd is 4.5 and is already playing that game with dp - his reaction every time I get flouncy (is that a word, lol) is 'but I'm not having a 4yr old treat me/speak to me/act in that way.' as far as I can see she's acting her age, but then he retaliates and acts HER age too

Shame you didnt have time to grab a coffee and a packet of choccie biscuits, I'd be tempted to leave them all afternoon

oh please, I was hoping someone would tell me they have solved a similar problem.

thanx libel, crossed posts.

I have got a bar of CDM in the drawer, so might break that out. It's VERY quiet out there.

when you have calmed down, write down your shopping list and tell DH and DS to go and do it

they need to spend time out of the house together

and you need to sit back in a quiet house and put your feet up

put a large bunch of flowers to say sorry to mummy / wife for being such a pain on the bottom of the list

Dh been and put some washing in (washer room next to office, so can hear it).

Yes I plan to send them shopping.

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

I thought of suggesting the shopping together idea but having sent dp once to do it alone - even with a shopping list - I was even more annoyed by what he came home with

Loving the idea of adding the large bunch of flowers to say sorry item

trouble is dh will complain at me for treating him like a child in front of ds.

If dh is like this now, how on earth is he going to cope with a teenager? Seriously - dh needs to be the grownup, and he had better start reading something about childrearing NOW. He could start with Steve Biddulph's "Raising Boys".

You say this is a fairly regular scenario? I am sorry if this depresses you, but it needs sorting out now. I have 2 teenage boys BTW. - 19 and 16.

Good on you for sticking up for yourself, I have been at my parents this week and had the same problem with my father and 4yo dd.

Right, they decided themselves to go and do the shopping. I had the list 3/4 done, so they can get that, I'll catch the rest up later. I saw ds getting his shoes so came out of the office. Dh won't talk to me, but probably will when they get back.

3littlefrogs, I know. I gave dh a copy of Raising boys early last year, when he was working away mon-fri and struggling a bit to cope at weekends. I don't think he read it tho'. I'm going to have to dig it out and insist that he reads it (or read bits out loud at bedtime ). He's been at home since Oct. I had thought it might improve when there wasn't the 'weekend family' pressure, but it seems to flare up even so.

It does worry me a bit, but I'm trying not to get stressed about it, I'm to prone to getting stressed.

Oh and Dittany, Ds beats me at everything on the Wii, and becomes unbearably smug. So I avoid playing unless he really needs comforting about something.

Say you are confiscating the Wii until they both learn to play together nicely! .
Could be you DH is the bigger kid so send him to the naughty step.
Just chill out in the office. Men and boys ehhh?
AB

please explain why ds is soooo keen (and soooo adept) at getting at dh.

Honestly he gets loads of attention, so doesn't need to get shouted at for attention.

tbh I thought that if I yelled at them both they might feel a bit of camaraderie, kind of gang up together against me.