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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you send your child to this nursery?

42 replies

NurseryAdvice · 01/08/2022 21:12

DH and I are unsure whether our standards are too high or not so would appreciate some perspective on our nursery visit today. DS(3) has been at an incredible, award-winning nursery that we absolutely adore. We’re moving two hours away to be closer to family/friends and leaving his nursery is the hardest part of the move. We visited a nursery near our new house today and it rang a lot of alarm bells for us (but, like I said, not sure if our standards are too high).

The major benefits of this nursery is that they’re very flexible. They’re very close to our new house, they allow us to use the full 30 hours (all the other local ones appear to only allow 15 hours) and they allow us to do ad hoc days too which we need (because, although I’ll be on maternity leave with DD, my employer is funding me doing a full-time masters whilst I’m on mat leave so we need ad hoc days for both DS and DD when I have exams). They’re one of very few nurseries who’ll take DD at all by November/December when my first exams are.

However, there were some things that made us uncomfortable but not sure if they’re actually a big deal:

  1. The staff:child ratios weren’t met. In the room that should’ve been 1:3 was 1:4, the room that should’ve been 1:4 was 1:8.
  2. The room with the 3/4 year olds, the member of staff left them unattended in order to come and ask us a question.
  3. In the baby room, when we were in there, a pile of books/paperwork/files fell from a shelf of about 6ft high onto the floor - which could’ve caused real harm if it’d fallen onto a child.
  4. None of the staff were interacting with the children in any room. The children were all just playing on their own. None of the children were playing with each other either. The nursery was pretty much completely silent.
  5. We asked about maths/reading/writing and they said they don’t do any writing or formal work or worksheets etc. They said they monitor their progress by just getting to know the children.
  6. In the baby garden, there were loose strands of wire (like chicken wire) that had clearly been used to attach something to a playhouse but were now just left poking down from the doorway of the Wendy house.
  7. All the rooms were very messy and grubby.
  8. When the children were eating lunch, they were sat on the floor and all eating with their hands from the same plate. This was the same space that the children had just been napping it, they cleared away their sleeping bags and then sat on the floor.
So, are these deal breakers or are these normal in nurseries? Would you send your child here or would you be concerned?
OP posts:
myyellowcar · 01/08/2022 21:15

I think it sounds absolutely terrible and there’s no way I’d send my child there. What you are describing indicates that they don’t take basic safety seriously at all.

maybein2022 · 01/08/2022 21:16

Absolutely no way. I have worked in nurseries and this is unacceptable.

Lwg87 · 01/08/2022 21:17

I don't think I have high standards but I wouldn't have sent my children there. It doesn't sound safe.

Darbs76 · 01/08/2022 21:18

That would be a big no from me

Skinnermarink · 01/08/2022 21:19

Oh come on. You don’t need an Internet forum to tell you that is shit, do you?

Blackcountryexile · 01/08/2022 21:20

They would certainly be dealbreakers for me especially the disregard for the children's safety and well being.
Fprmal teaching and worksheets aren't part of the EYFS but as their practice is so lax I would have my doubts that activities planned to promote the foundations of maths and literacy would be happening.
I suggest you look at other prpvision/Perhaps a childminder?

ButtonMoonLoon · 01/08/2022 21:21

There’s no way I’d send my child there. In actual fact I’d be reporting them to Ofsted- so many of the things you witnessed are in breach of regulations. What worries me most is that if they would be happy for you to witness all that then what on earth goes on behind closed doors!

Comedycook · 01/08/2022 21:22

No I wouldn't.

I remember viewing a nursery where a broken window had just been taped over...there was an over flowing bin with no lid and other things which made me feel uneasy.

The woman showing me around asked if I'd like my child to attend and I actually said "over my dead body". She looked quite shocked!

By the way, have you looked at childminders instead?

SparrowsNest · 01/08/2022 21:24

A no from me by point 2! Absolutely would not use this nursery

Tee20x · 01/08/2022 21:24

Of course you shouldn't send your child here

ILoveTwix · 01/08/2022 21:25

Absolutely don't send your DCs there! staff and child interaction is so important and I can't believe they've not even stepped up when the nursery is being viewed! What is their Ofsted rating?

Please tell them about the safety issues you saw so they can rectify these before they end up with a serious injury to a child or staff member.

yougotthelook · 01/08/2022 21:26

NurseryAdvice · 01/08/2022 21:12

DH and I are unsure whether our standards are too high or not so would appreciate some perspective on our nursery visit today. DS(3) has been at an incredible, award-winning nursery that we absolutely adore. We’re moving two hours away to be closer to family/friends and leaving his nursery is the hardest part of the move. We visited a nursery near our new house today and it rang a lot of alarm bells for us (but, like I said, not sure if our standards are too high).

The major benefits of this nursery is that they’re very flexible. They’re very close to our new house, they allow us to use the full 30 hours (all the other local ones appear to only allow 15 hours) and they allow us to do ad hoc days too which we need (because, although I’ll be on maternity leave with DD, my employer is funding me doing a full-time masters whilst I’m on mat leave so we need ad hoc days for both DS and DD when I have exams). They’re one of very few nurseries who’ll take DD at all by November/December when my first exams are.

However, there were some things that made us uncomfortable but not sure if they’re actually a big deal:

  1. The staff:child ratios weren’t met. In the room that should’ve been 1:3 was 1:4, the room that should’ve been 1:4 was 1:8.
  2. The room with the 3/4 year olds, the member of staff left them unattended in order to come and ask us a question.
  3. In the baby room, when we were in there, a pile of books/paperwork/files fell from a shelf of about 6ft high onto the floor - which could’ve caused real harm if it’d fallen onto a child.
  4. None of the staff were interacting with the children in any room. The children were all just playing on their own. None of the children were playing with each other either. The nursery was pretty much completely silent.
  5. We asked about maths/reading/writing and they said they don’t do any writing or formal work or worksheets etc. They said they monitor their progress by just getting to know the children.
  6. In the baby garden, there were loose strands of wire (like chicken wire) that had clearly been used to attach something to a playhouse but were now just left poking down from the doorway of the Wendy house.
  7. All the rooms were very messy and grubby.
  8. When the children were eating lunch, they were sat on the floor and all eating with their hands from the same plate. This was the same space that the children had just been napping it, they cleared away their sleeping bags and then sat on the floor.
So, are these deal breakers or are these normal in nurseries? Would you send your child here or would you be concerned?

Not a chance!
Look for a childminder instead
Childcare.co.uk will have profiles of all cms close to you (you just put your postcode in)
You will probably need set days as cm ratios are smaller than nurseries, but we are normally cheaper than nursery and you will get a very personalised service for your child x

ClocksGoingBackwards · 01/08/2022 21:29

Your standards aren’t too high, it doesn’t sound like a nice nursery.

AliMonkey · 01/08/2022 21:35

Number 5 (maths etc) is the only one I'd not be concerned about at all. Nurseries should teach through play and following the children's interests not through formal learning. At nursery age, the EYFS (statutory requirements) and Development Matters (the guidance) don't expect them to be doing worksheets etc but to be learning through more informal methods - talking, reading together, counting, play, mark-making, magnetic letters, recognising their name on the wall, etc. A good nursery will encourage this and guide them but formal worksheets are not necessary.

Giving the benefit of the doubt, number 4 (silence) might have just been the period you were there. Whilst staff should encourage children and talk to them about what they are doing, they shouldn't be forcing children to talk to them or never allow the children to play in peace as many children need some quiet time. If it's always like that, I'd be concerned, but they may have been constantly chattering for the hour before you arrived.

And number 7 is to some extent inevitable in a nursery at certain times of day so depends on whether it was grubby because the children had been playing with the sand/paint/mud/water and/or had just had their snack, or it was just generally grubby as never cleaned properly. If the staff/child ratios are too low then they may well never have time to clean up!

Everything else together would be a big no-no. And if they are the only nursery that has spaces that may well be for a reason!

Nikki305 · 01/08/2022 21:45

Report to ofsted

Ontomatopea · 01/08/2022 21:47

Can you contact ofsted or whoever to tell them of your concerns

TheTeenageYears · 01/08/2022 21:50

Absolutely not. There's a reason they can be so flexible on ad hoc days as well as the full 30 hours (although on the later I'm not sure why others aren't doing that) and it's because they sound like a terrible nursery and have plenty of capacity as a result. The only one thing I can see that;s a non issue is

"We asked about maths/reading/writing and they said they don’t do any writing or formal work or worksheets etc. They said they monitor their progress by just getting to know the children"

I know wings might have gone full circle but when my late teens were at pre school staff weren't actually allowed to engage with that kind of learning. They could only sit down and say do some writing if a child went up to them specifically and asked to do it. Everything was supposed to be learning through play.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 01/08/2022 21:50

No way!

tintami · 01/08/2022 21:54

Sounds like you've accidentally stumbled upon a dog day care instead of children one! I can't get over the all eating on the floor, from the same plate with hands?! I've been to many many nurseries over the years and seen really poor practice but that just takes the biscuit

Plumtreebob · 01/08/2022 21:55

That can’t be real? A nursery near me was told to shut with 12hrs notice due to poor staff to child ratios. They weren’t allowed to open again until they were right.

LilacPoppy · 01/08/2022 21:55

5 is a positive though.

thenewduchessoflapland · 01/08/2022 21:57

Absolutely not and you need to report what you've seen to ofsted.

ChocoButterfly · 01/08/2022 21:58

Number 1 is the worst. Isnt that illegal? How did you find that one out?

Seashor · 01/08/2022 21:59

What a load of made up rubbish.

SatinHeart · 01/08/2022 22:00

All of those except number 5 would bother me.

I wouldn't expect (or want) them to be doing formal work or worksheets till school tbh.

But the rest of your points would be a no from me!

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