Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman taking her phone for a walk this morning

203 replies

SmellyToilet · 01/08/2022 09:38

Just got back from walking the dog. At one point a woman emerged with her face buried in her phone … she also had a little dog on a retractable lead wandering around behind her. I was walking behind this woman for 20 minutes and I swear to god she never once looked up from her phone in all this time. She didn’t interact with nor even look at her dog once. The dog was more interested in us than her and as it was on a retractable lead it kept walking back towards us … this woman had literally no idea that her dog was bothering a fellow dog Walker (with a reactive dog). The dog had a shit, she didn’t notice. I honestly believe that if I’d gone to the dog, unclipped it’s lead and stole it she wouldn’t have even noticed until she got home.

What’s the point??!! AIBU to have been hoping she accidentally stood in a huge pile of horse shit so she actually started to pay attention to her surroundings?

OP posts:
DIMooney · 01/08/2022 18:02

FOJN · 01/08/2022 10:55

Be kind is just a way of telling other people you will do as you please and you will judge anyone who dares to suggest you may need to consider others.

If you're taking a break from interacting with your child do you just let them do what they want? If they were hit by a car or approached by a stranger would you defend yourself by saying you just wanted some time out from the relentless demands on your attention? Of course you wouldn't. Taking a break from interaction does not mean relinquishing all responsibility and not observing where your child is or what they are doing.

Phones have alerts to let you know if there is a call or a message, looking at your phone won't make that happen any quicker and still does not absolve you of responsibility. Urgent messages and bad news happened before the advent of mobile phones and people seemed to manage then without 24 hour connectivity. There is probably a good argument to be made for people being less stressed before the tyranny of the mobile phone.

If someone is walking a dog they have a responsibility to know where the dog is and what it is doing particularly if you are walking your dog on a trip hazard lead or it is shitting somewhere someone might walk in it.

People can make all the excuses they want for irresponsible behaviour because some people choose to live there live through a mobile device which means their attention is often in a different place to their body but most of them are bullshit. There is almost nothing which cannot wait for you to stop and deal with it in a place and manner which does not inconvenience or endanger others.

Show quote history

But the OP could’ve raised her voice enough to say, excuse me could you call your dog so I can move past? My dog is reactive. I would happily love for anyone like that. You don’t know unless you ask.
This person, who none of us here know anything about, could have been quite happy to move. We also don’t know why they were on their phone.

’Be kind’ doesn’t just mean do as you please without judgement. It just means, think about what you do, say or how you judge someone. A lot goes on behind closed doors, offering support is better than sitting back and silently judging someone. I’ve made biases about people when I’ve first met them, then I’ve found out more about them and realised how wrong I’ve got it.
Maybe instead of ‘be kind’ I should’ve used ‘think before you speak/judge’ but hey, none of us are perfect.

OP, she should’ve picked up the poo. And it must’ve been frustrating that they were in your way. You could’ve said, could they let you past. We have reactive dogs in my family and I make an effort to keep my dog away from those on a lead.

ThePumpkinPatch · 01/08/2022 18:16

balalake · 01/08/2022 09:40

She has an addiction.

You have NO idea what that woman was doing on her phone! It may have been the only time throughout the entire day that she gets a moment to respond to emails or pay bills ffs. How judgmental to declare a total stranger as addicted to her phone based on a few seconds. Unbelievable

ThePumpkinPatch · 01/08/2022 18:17

billyt · 01/08/2022 09:41

You see this with pram pushers as well..... heaven forbid they actually talk to their child.

ps. I hope you pointed out that her dog had crapped. Or perhaps she ignores this because it's easier than picking it up.

And yes, I talk and interact with my dog when we go for walks/runs.

Yet more shocking levels of judgment and presumption. You have no idea what you're talking about

ILoveCreamCrackersMe · 01/08/2022 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 01/08/2022 18:22

She sounds like 99% of people I see walking, face buried in their phone

It's embarrassing

EhatBow · 01/08/2022 18:30

I'm a bit of a phone addict at home, but if you see me using it when I'm out it's because something has kicked off at work.

FOJN · 01/08/2022 18:32

’Be kind’ doesn’t just mean do as you please without judgement. It just means, think about what you do, say or how you judge someone. A lot goes on behind closed doors, offering support is better than sitting back and silently judging someone. I’ve made biases about people when I’ve first met them, then I’ve found out more about them and realised how wrong I’ve got it.
Maybe instead of ‘be kind’ I should’ve used ‘think before you speak/judge’ but hey, none of us are perfect.

Other people's difficulties and challenges are none of my business. The OP is dealing with the challenge of a reactive dog and as you quite rightly say she should have spoken up so why does the OP have to take responsibility for herself and her dog but the inattentive owner might need support?

Honestly I have no interest in the life story of a stranger I'm passing on the street. If you are walking a dog you need to pay attention to what it's doing and pick up it's shit.

I wonder how many people on this thread are feeling a little defensive because they spend a large portion of their life with their eyes glued to their phone at the expense of everything around them. I see it all the time.

I'm guessing the woman who walks down my road on her way the work each day with her headphones in and head down, back to the traffic, watching videos (I've walked past her when taking the dog out) isn't having a daily crisis. Her crisis will come when she gets knocked over by a car, there is no pavement on my road and she always wears a black coat in winter and it will still be dark when she's on her way to work at 7.30. Then by MN law it will be the drivers fault.

Can we all accept we are responsible for ourselves and we owe it to others to act responsibly.

70billionthnamechange · 01/08/2022 18:33

I get annoyed with people moaning about being on phones. I've had someone have a go when I'm using a map, sat in the park reading the news while my baby slept and as PP said waiting for bad news. Each time some random busy body gave enough of a shit to tell me how awful I was for being on my phone with my kid. It's not always Instagram you know, just concentrate on your own life

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 01/08/2022 18:42

PeppaPigIsAnnoying · 01/08/2022 18:22

She sounds like 99% of people I see walking, face buried in their phone

It's embarrassing

What an odd thing to get embarrassed about Confused

lancsgirl85 · 01/08/2022 18:45

You see this with pram pushers as well..... heaven forbid they actually talk to their child.

Perhaps the "pram pushers" have spent all morning at home interacting with and talking to their child, and now they need half an hour of respite while trying to get their baby or toddler to nap. Ffs so much judgement about a small snapshot of a person's life. 🙄🙄

lancsgirl85 · 01/08/2022 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

😂😂

lancsgirl85 · 01/08/2022 18:47

amymel2016 · 01/08/2022 12:22

It’s a animal not a baby 😂how much interaction do they need?!

I never judge anyone looking at their phone whilst out, either with a baby or anything else. I’ve no idea what the rest of their has been like, it might be the only 20 mins they get to relax and have some headspace. We wouldn’t have a go at someone reading the paper or a magazine.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

lancsgirl85 · 01/08/2022 18:48

@amymel2016

Same. I have the intelligence to realise that I'm seeing just a few minutes of a snapshot of that person's day. Parent or dog owner, doesn't matter. I don't judge because how exactly is it bothering me or affecting my life? 🤷‍♀️

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 01/08/2022 19:34

If you are out with a dog you cannot afford to be distracted. For their safety and those people around you. My dog almost bit another dog a few years ago - she is a small terrier and this big bouncy collie came up and was jostling her, almost knocking her over and would not back off. Where was the owner - on the other side of the playing field on her phone. Moron.

Downbythebayy · 01/08/2022 19:44

Pretty sad to not mention her dog had done a poo, but came to post about it on mumsnet. I find that even more bizarre than her being on her phone the whole walk.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 01/08/2022 20:28

FFS - there are a lot of people here who obviously dont understand that it is against the law not to be in control of your dog in a public place. So, the lack of attention to the dog and the retractable lead are two major issues. Her being on her phone is neither here nor there if she was paying attention to what her dog was doing, in which case she would not have missed that it pooped. She could have used the lead and the phone if the dog was in front of her, not behind her, and she could keep an eye on it. This is the same kind of person who lets their dogs off lead when they dont have good recall. Not talking about a one off but talking about people who are clueless. Like the same people who habitually walk their dogs without taking poo bags with them. They are a danger and nuisance to others, and the OP is getting a lot of unfair comments from the defensive brigade on here.

Lockheart · 01/08/2022 20:35

I hate phone zombies.

I guarantee the vast majority of the people I have to dodge on my morning commute, who block the pavement walking at a snails pace, who wander into the road or into other people, because they're so absorbed in their screen are not doing anything important or waiting for desperate news.

Phone down, head up, pay attention, watch where you're walking.

Purplelion · 01/08/2022 21:49

I do this and would hate to think people are judging me.
Why do I do it?
I do it because today (as an example) I got up at 5am with my 2 youngest girls.(The youngest is currently potty training so that adds to the usual stresses of the day!) I got them ready, fed and washed, dropped the youngest at nursery and the middle one at holiday club (Teenager stays at home) I cleaned the house, went to work for 5 hours, came home grabbed 10 minutes for some food and picked the girls up, went to the shop and got some bits for dinner, fed the girls, played with them, finally at 7:30 I walked the dog (Leaving the teenager with the little ones)
I replied to messages, made plans with my sister and played candy crush, I also listened to a couple of chapters of an audio book.
my dog isn’t neglected, she’s perfectly happy having a walk and a sniff! She did poo which I always notice and pick up.
That hour on my phone is the only time I was on it since I woke up. I then came home and spent time with oldest DD who has just gone to bed. So seeing my in that hour you may decide I’m addicted to my phone which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Cr22345678990 · 01/08/2022 21:52

Sorry but why do you need to give the dog attention it’s not a child ? The shits annoying though.

LimboLass · 01/08/2022 21:59

When the baby/grumpy toddler is in the buggy that's the only time you get to actually use your phone, reply to messages, work emails or god forbid look at Twitter. Child happy as larry looking around, parent (let's face it, mother) getting ten minutes of head space

So why on earth waste if visually glued to a screen. Look around the enjoy the surroundings. Do shitty life admin when they are in bed and its dark.

LimboLass · 01/08/2022 22:00

So seeing my in that hour you may decide I’m addicted to my phone which couldn’t be further from the truth

How would you feel if you were not allowed to use your phone in that hour? And god forbid had to wait until the next day to contact people/check social media? That is the true test of the addiction.

DaveSpondoolix · 01/08/2022 22:06

LimboLass · 01/08/2022 21:59

When the baby/grumpy toddler is in the buggy that's the only time you get to actually use your phone, reply to messages, work emails or god forbid look at Twitter. Child happy as larry looking around, parent (let's face it, mother) getting ten minutes of head space

So why on earth waste if visually glued to a screen. Look around the enjoy the surroundings. Do shitty life admin when they are in bed and its dark.

It's not a waste to some people though, is it? It's almost as if people enjoy different things because everyone is different and lives different lives. Who knew.

QueenWatevraWaNabi · 01/08/2022 22:20

So why on earth waste if visually glued to a screen. Look around the enjoy the surroundings. Do shitty life admin when they are in bed and its dark

I have never considered and will never consider replying to my friends, messaging my family, or looking at photos on Facebook (I only have friends and family on there) as 'shitty life admin'.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 01/08/2022 22:45

billyt · 01/08/2022 09:41

You see this with pram pushers as well..... heaven forbid they actually talk to their child.

ps. I hope you pointed out that her dog had crapped. Or perhaps she ignores this because it's easier than picking it up.

And yes, I talk and interact with my dog when we go for walks/runs.

@billyt we’re usually trying to get them to go to sleep

Purplelion · 01/08/2022 22:49

I wouldn’t care. But some things can’t wait until tomorrow, like arranging a visit to see my sister, booking train tickets, sorting times etc.