Are casual relationships always a bad idea?

[CluelessDater]

Aibu to consider a casual relationship situation. Very attracted to a guy i see regularly in a volunteering role. Don't especially know enough about him to decide if relationship material but I'm not really after that at the moment anyway. He is also not wanting anything serious. Can casual relationships work or are they always a disaster? I suppose like a fwb situation but no close friendship. It is me driving the idea if that makes a difference! I basically want some intimacy in my life but not into all the drama of dating at the moment.

Casual relationships are definitely not always a bad idea, they can be a lot of fun. In many ways a lot more fun than the baggage of a serious relationship.
As long as you're honest with yourself about what you want out of it and with each other.

What's not fun at all is a relationship which begins as casual and where one party develops feelings and wants it to go further but the other doesn't. And you don't want to put yourself in a position where this happens with someone you see regularly at a social or work event. I speak as someone who has done this twice and regretted it bitterly.

If you are really honest in saying you don't want anything serious go for it and enjoy it. But if you're secretly hoping it will develop into something serious its probably not worth it.

The post above ( @Thepeopleversuswork ) is brilliant and little more needs saying

I think casual relationships can only work when both people want the same thing. But it sounds as if you are a little more invested than casual - are you sure you are not just settling for casual because he doesn't want something serious?

A fling. Nothing wrong with a fling if your self esteem can take the ending

It is hard not to have the drama of dating because often one person develops feelings and has certain boundaries. I tried casual and whilst one was fun, if I'm honest I would have liked more but it was more because it became a bit of a challenge rather than because I really liked him. I didn't know him really. And I lied to myself and thought it was cool.

So I think better to be single and open to meeting someone you click and seeing if it develops, or how it develops or not, than be in something that may end up making you feel all sorts of thoughts. The problem with a fwd is that you'll end up internalizing a lot of stuff because of the situation you won't be able to set standards.

But I may be wrong. I can't really do intimacy without emotion.

Nope definitely not always bad. I've had several casual relationships like this but I wouldn't refer to them as relationships really as although we've developed a friendship through messaging and calls etc and chat if we bump into one another like friends do: we only meet up really when we're going to be intimate. For the most part at least. It works though, as long as like @Thepeopleversuswork says you're honest about expectations

I think casual ends up messy because often you catch feelings it's quite hard not to catch feelings for someone your sleeping with for 6 months plus.

Thisnis a bad idea for most of us. See all the posters on here that write in feeling wronged that their FWB/casual relationship is somehow neglecting or emotionally abusive of them because they are behaving in the exact casual way that was agreed upon.