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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To always feel like sacking of a holiday just as it's approaching?

91 replies

daisysurplus · 31/07/2022 19:51

Does anyone else ever do this?

Book a holiday, really look forward to it, do sufficient planning to ensure it goes smoothly and then about a week before just think 'I can't be arsed'. It's happened almost every time I go away (and I always end up enjoying myself while still slightly thinking 'I'm not sure if it was worth the money / time / effort')

Not sure if it's a combination of pre annual leave fatigue, mental load / admin before a trip, expectation anxiety....or whether I generally just can't be arsed with the holiday anymore.......

I know I will have a lovely time though!

OP posts:
PugInTheHouse · 31/07/2022 21:53

Oh and its even worse now as we have 2 dogs and have a home sitter for them so I have to change beds the morning of holiday and make sure the house is really clean and tidy so just something else to add to it all!

midsomermurderess · 31/07/2022 22:00

I think it's a form of anxiety. Everything is moving from theoretical to real and can feel a bit undoable. You've got to get from x to y and do all the steps in between. A certain sort of almost ennui descends, God, why am I doing this. And then, suddenly almost, there you are, in Athens or Corfu or Florida, hopefully broadly good to get into it. If it happens, best to anticipate and accept it.

Tangled123 · 31/07/2022 22:01

I couldn’t go on my holiday this year because I caught Covid. Part of me was glad I didn’t have to go through the hassle of packing etc but I’m mostly devastated to have missed it.

Stressybetty · 31/07/2022 22:10

Was dreading last holiday in Portugal 4 years ago for some reason. DH wanting to try paddle boarding in the Atlantic so planned whole trip around it. Weeks of planning, hotel reviews, buying snorkeling equipment etc etc then packing the boards etc. Did my head in. Holiday was awful.

HotMummaSummer · 31/07/2022 22:37

I'm never one to book to far in advance so maybe that helps... Our last holiday I did get this feeling before it. I enjoyed parts of it but we have a toddler and baby so it was exhausting. We did self catering so still did food shopping, cooking, laundry and we had no air con. I'm an going to try and persuade my partner we need to go all inclusive next year, he still wants us to be adventurous...

MarshaMelrose · 31/07/2022 22:44

I try to be organised so as much as possible is done in advance, but always end up madly trying to find clothes to wear, seeing if my diet has worked or if I need to go find something that fits. And the house looks like a bomb's hit it! I never want to go. It's just too exhausting.
Then I worry that I might get burglarised and the police might go in! 😳 It just seems easier not to bother.

Nomad916 · 31/07/2022 22:57

Screamingtern · 31/07/2022 20:49

And I lie in my holiday bed thinking, ‘only x more nights till I can go home’

😂😂

I do this too! 😂

OneMomentPlease · 31/07/2022 23:00

Oh god this is me! Since having kids literally every time we go away, the week before I am thinking that it’s just not worth the hassle and I’d rather not go. I think it’s the mental load and that I just don’t have the capacity to add anything else in. Plus when the kids were little knowing that it was all the work but a holiday in name only 😂.

The stupid thing is that I look forward to it and generally we have a great time, so I try to remember that and talk myself down.

Shunter350 · 31/07/2022 23:02

Holidays are stressful. Two weeks is about 4 days too long.
I miss my own bed tbh and the stress of thinking about a wild garden and all that stuff just isn't worth it.
Much prefer short breaks in the UK..

Tollystar · 31/07/2022 23:03

Ditto here! It's just the faff of everything - plants watered, dog to kennels, money ordered from post office, parking booked at airport, buying new clothes, packing toiletries, packing carry-on bag, checking tyre pressure, leaving early enough to compensate for possible traffic on way to airport, catching the bus to terminal. Its such a BORE! Got a holiday coming up end of the summer which I'm looking forward to in the abstract (chose a really nice hotel, got plans on what we can do there) but I'm really dreading it too, and feel like sacking it off. I'm so ungrateful!

bluetongue · 01/08/2022 02:34

Yes, I feel like and I love travelling!

I’m actually at the airport now waiting for my outbound flight but getting to this point was a struggle. I’ve been refinancing my mortgage which has been held up and required way more paperwork than it should have. Then my dog had an issue with his leg that required surgery a couple of weeks ago which was super stressful.

On top of all that I usually realise leading up to the holiday that my clothes are old and tired and I actually will need to go clothes shopping before the trip (I hate shopping).

Onlyforcake · 01/08/2022 02:52

Is a lovely time always guaranteed? Yesterday I had enough off the ungrateful whinges, the demands to do things that simply were not possible where we were and packed everything up and drove home. Cut the holiday short.

Holidays are just being miserable with a different view.

Onlyforcake · 01/08/2022 02:54

*and that was a short break in the UK. Completely not worth the planning, the prep nor the drive.

bluetongue · 01/08/2022 02:54

Oh and does anyone else have recurring holiday and packing anxiety dreams? In my dreams I’m always at the airport sans passport or something else essential thinking ‘this is just like my packing dreams’ which make them feel extra real.

I do have an anxiety disorder so it’s not really surprising.

VenusClapTrap · 01/08/2022 03:04

Oh yes. I can relate to this. It’s stressful and exhausting and I’m horrible to everyone for 48hrs before leaving.

I'm away now, and although I’m having a lovely time I’m lying awake worrying about the animals, the plants, and all the shit I’ve got to do when I get back.

Mol1628 · 01/08/2022 03:19

I love it once I’m on the way and everything is sorted. Hate it before then. Like a PP said I’m even worse since lock down. Generally just can’t be arsed.

honkeytonkwoman38 · 01/08/2022 03:52

I'm in a hotel at the airport waiting to fly out in morning and I think I would just quite like to stay here. It would do me.

daisychain01 · 01/08/2022 04:02

Totally agree, the holiday experience in a post-COVID world have deteriorated massively - all those queues at the airport, hours of delays before you've even taken off or got on the ferry. There was a time when the airport used to be part of the excitement, now it's a complete drag.

Nowadays it's like restaurants, we resent going anywhere and having to pay through the nose for things that are sub-standard to being at home, where all our creature comforts are, nice bed, clothes already hanging up in the wardrobe not crumpled in a suitcase. This summer we've just taken our dinner outside in this lovely weather and pretend we're on holiday without the faff of getting there and back, and £000's better off.

Boxowine · 01/08/2022 04:07

My last trip was to Disney in January. I booked it six months earlier and told everyone it would be their Christmas present. Then Omicron hit right before our travel dates and all the airlines cancelled thousands of flights. My anxiety went through the roof. We got through it but I decided the next one will be a cruise and I don't give a damn.

I'm now occupied by the idea of capsule wardrobes and I've planned out several clothing combinations to pack. It's a very soothing mental exercise.

Ncfreely · 01/08/2022 04:08

every time! literally every time. i always love it when i am there

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 01/08/2022 04:45

We are flying out to our holiday later today and I seriously cannot be arsed. I’d happily not go

Weatherwax13 · 01/08/2022 05:06

Oh god this is me - every time. Feel guilty as DH is beside himself with happiness and I don't want to wreck it.
But I'm having to bite my tongue as I'm so irritable and anxious and for two pins, I'd pull the plug.
I always thought it was the stress making my bipolar wobbly. (Particularly as we're going longhaul and will be away for weeks and it does effect me).
But reading all these posts makes me see it's not confined to people with psychiatric disorders 🤣

the80sweregreat · 01/08/2022 05:36

Every time ! Then when I finally get on the actual holiday I find ok.
This has got worse as I've aged and just can't be bothered with it all though.

blubberball · 01/08/2022 05:55

Yep. We're on holiday at the moment. Luckily my partner is extremely helpful and organised, so he helps to take a lot of the pressure off of me, when he helps to look after the passports/tickets/room keys and to pack bags for days out. He helps to wash the swimming stuff, hangs it out and pops to the shop for bottles of water, snacks and suncream. He loves the rides and happily takes the kids. He's brilliant actually, and this is our first holiday as a family.

But ds2 still has ADHD etc and all the fun behaviour problems he has. He really struggles to wait for anything, and of course a lot of queuing/waiting goes on. Ds1 is still kind of a moody teenager and got a bit sick yesterday. My partner got burnt on his ankle, and it's gone kind of weird where a sock rubbed on it, but he won't see a pharmacist or anything. Dc still argue and fight constantly.

I booked for us to go away for a week, and that's plenty long enough. Can't wait to get home to our shit lives and the cat!

Still, hopefully we'll have some happy memories.

Weather is lovely, wish you were here!

Bunnynames101 · 01/08/2022 06:21

Yes. I get anxious staying away from home. I'm forcing myself on my first proper (for me) holiday this September since covid. It's where I used to go every year. I'm feeling more squeemish than normal even though everything is organised to the hilt and I now have better pet care arranged than ever before so no reason to worry.