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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To give up on holidays now?

3 replies

user1464279374 · 31/07/2022 19:02

My 5yo is autistic and has severe ARFID (drinks water and eats one item of food only, plus takes a vitamin liquid). Over the past year or so he has stopped eating anywhere but inside the house. Even at school, grandparents etc, he won't touch food (but depending on the day might drink water).

We've tried a hotel for a night recently and he ate nothing, resulting in him throwing up. We are trying again right now - supposedly for two nights - but a day in and he won't touch anything. Even if we gently encourage or bribe with iPad etc, he will take a bite then gag and spit it out.

We want to try an Airbnb/cottage situation too at some point, in case maybe that's different to a hotel, but at this point we feel like giving up. We don't want to cause him stress or make him ill, but this means the end of any holidays or trips away ever. Is that the future we have to just accept? Or should we keep trying?

Most of the experts when it comes to ARFID have no answers except "wait" for things to maybe get better years down the line. I don't know whether to just bring everyone home tomorrow and stop trying. It’s a big waste of money too. Has anyone had experience of this and did it get better? And how long can a child go without any food whatsoever before it's dangerous?!

Not sure if I'm being more unreasonable giving up on ever leaving the house again or forcing him to go without food for the sake of having nice trips. (He enjoys museums, new places etc, most of the time if routine is explained).

Thank you!

OP posts:
Threelittlelambs · 31/07/2022 19:04

Not me but a neighbor brought a caravan and they used that as it was theirs and the child didn’t like change. They played in it and ate in their - maybe a thought? Even camping might be a cheaper option to try.

actiongirl1978 · 31/07/2022 19:09

Agreed with the caravan.

DS was much happier staying in our van. We decorated it on the driveway to make it 'our own' before taking it to a permanent pitch and he kept his things in there.

It meant he could shower in our van and not have to be in an unfamiliar bathroom.

That said we have the opposite food issues and he eats too much of a very narrow food group.

gogohmm · 31/07/2022 19:27

Work on the food throughout the winter and see. My dd was at one point only drinking carnation instant breakfast (like complan) and eating fries but we added nuggets, then other fried products (I know so healthy) then toast and gradually between age 4&6 we got to the point she ate a limited but acceptable range of foods including peas!

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