To think people are getting grabbier?

[ComradeLaika]

With all the expectations of celebrations for life choices?

Outrageous hen/stag do’s
Ridiculous Weddings and gift expectations
Baby showers
Gender reveals
Engagement parties
Divorce parties
Over the top kids parties (they’re 1, they have no idea it’s their birthday)

It’s getting very expensive to celebrate others. Does anyone else think it’s gone over the top? What next?!

(and before anyone asks, I haven’t done any of the above, just a very cheap wedding!)

I think people just like to celebrate

Hmm, well, people facilitate it by going to these events. I never understand why people don't just decline to be part of these expensive celebrations, unless of course they are hoping it will ensure reciprocation.

It depends on the individual,for me,all those gaudy events are ghastly. Someone else probably loves them. Such events are very polarising. IMO it is The social pressure and conspicuous consumerism that drive such behaviour, and some folk love being the bossy centre of attention (they end up in the PTA too).

People always used to have engagement parties, I guess now they have to be Instagram worthy engagement parties!

DM’s friends wanted to take her out to celebrate her divorce in the mid 80’s so, not a party, but celebrations aren’t new. DM declined though iirc.

Having lavish parties isn’t ‘grabby’ though, an expensive gift list is, if people want to push the boat out to celebrate that’s personal choice, no one has to attend if cost is going to be an issue as a guest.

I think social media plays a big part

yep- fuelled by the social media generation, pay £1000s on events to have that look at me picture

oneupmanship for social media/keeping up with the Jones’.

Its fun to celebrate, most of us love a good knees-up but making every celebration highly materialistic and Instagram worthy is a development particularly since the internet. As someone who lives in the USA, its weird to see Brits copy so many US festivities (baby showers, bridal showers, gender reveals, proms, etc.) when we never celebrated them when I was growing up in the UK. Also the Americans I know are usually very budget conscious and don't add all the extras. Some people seem very gullible to what marketeers present as "essential" to a celebration.

I like to celebrate life milestones with friends and family I like and care about.

Can’t imagine getting worked up about getting an invite to an engagement party and I’ve never really encountered ridiculous gift expectations for any event.

Or after the last few years folk are just looking for any excuse for a party.

Don't go if you don't want to.

In fairness on mn every possible event is fraught with do and donts and instructions
do take a thoughtful gift on arrival for the host
don’t arrive early
if you invite people to pub for a meet up or your birthday you’re compelled to pay for all drinks and put on food
weddings must be an endless buffet with a free bar and no lapses in hospitality

Omg yes!!!

and don’t get me started on the fucking balloons that everyone seems to love.

the ostentatious balloon arches and displays make me cringe.

Waiting for the day funeral balloons come into fashion….”Just died!!”

No, I don't. I think people like to splash cash and post about it online and have 'cred', but I wouldn't say it's grabby, it's prioritising where they spend cash (not always wisely IMO)

Waiting for the day funeral balloons come into fashion….”Just died!!”

Not a millions miles away from the 2ft MUM floral arrangements that people have done for decades anyway.

All for the 'gram, isn't it.

Yes, it all seems really OTT

It's what happens when businesses switch from taking market share to taking high profit levels. 4% annual growth is now considered low. To do this and to keep profit shares high, companies must sell us more and more. More food, more clothes, more decorations, more gifts, more gadgets, more shoes, more furniture, more accessories. Everything must be bigger and more extravagant and wasteful than before.

It’s not just that gifts might be lavish, it’s the expense it costs to attend such events and the expectation of a gift full stop. Who can afford the constant gifts for people getting married and having babies? Someone, over the period of a couple of years, might have an engagement, a hen do, a wedding, a gender reveal and baby shower. To attend all these things and buy the generally anticipated gifts costs a lot. If you have lots of close friends and family, it can cost a bomb.

I don’t see what’s wrong with one wedding gift and one baby gift per baby, but that’s not what people expect any more.

Best OTT party I attended was a divorce party complete with cake and balloons etc. Had a FAB time to be fair 😂

You don't have to go to the events.

its for attention on social media and to keep up with others, them bloody balloon archers and flower walls where everyone must stand in front of them instead of just taking photos of people having a good time in the moment.

These things are marketed at people so they think they've got to do them.

T

Honestly, I read about this a lot and occasionally see it on instagram but ime it’s not happening in real life.

My circle of friends is reasonably well off, but as we’re in London we’re all saving a fortune to have a hope of buying a house despite earning well, so all the events you’ve listed are quite low key at other peoples houses.

(and I’ve never seen or been invited to a ‘gender reveal’ party irl!)

Most people don’t have lavish engagement parties, gender reveals, baby showers and so on; it’s just that now we have social media, you get to see all the people who do.

TBH I have a policy of only giving a gift for a first baby, because after that your procreation is old hat, and you should be reusing the outfit I gave you the first time around not expecting a new one.