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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not serve hot drinks...

70 replies

Ilovechocolate87 · 31/07/2022 11:01

DD2 is getting christened next month- we are doing a celebration party after at a local village hall.We were originally going to go with a caterer who would have provided staff to serve teas and coffees, but her quote proved very expensive so we have found a much cheaper but still good & reputable alternative company to do the buffet.Only thing is they won't be able to stay and do any drinks as its just a drop off service.

DH and I will have DD1 (5) and DD2 (10m) to keep an eye on and obviously also general organising to do, and also want to be able to socialise and enjoy the event, so really don't want to be stuck in the kitchen the whole time serving up constant teas & coffees for 60ish people, and would feel rude asking friends or family to do it as they are guests too and deserve to relax and enjoy the event.

Don't know of any local companies who would just come and provide/serve drinks for us.I could put a post on the town community FB page for some paid help, but it would worry if they would definitely turn up, and would likely need afew people anyway i think, as the original lady said she would have provided 3 people to staff it.

AIBU to just forget doing hot drinks and serve (possibly on a a 'help yourself' table next to the buffet) a varied selection of good quality cold ones (talking schloer, nice bottled juices etc, not just fizzy & squash) or pay the hire fee on top to be able to serve alcohol and do everyone a glass of bubbly each instead?

IMO they are getting a generous savoury buffet, a decent slice of cake and will have a varied choice of cold drinks... shouldn't that be enough? :-/
But I don't drink tea or coffee so don't get the whole 'needing a hot drink' thing anyway. DH drinks hot drinks, and he thinks people will expect them.

Opinions please?

OP posts:
VainAbigail · 31/07/2022 11:03

Whenever we’ve held a christening reception in a village hall, people have made their own hot drinks if they wanted one! We just left the stuff in the open kitchen and people did their thing! I think you’re overthinking it somewhat!

SarahSissions · 31/07/2022 11:03

Most village halls have a hot water urn. You’ll need to fill it early on to start heating up, but can’t you pop that on the side with a box of tea bags and a jug of milk and let people help themselves?
maybe before the service go in and set up and it will then be ready?

TiredYorkshireMam · 31/07/2022 11:03

I think cold drinks will be fine.

Some people do drink tea / coffee a lot but I can't imagine it would be an issue to go without for a few hours.

KrisAkabusi · 31/07/2022 11:04

Put a couple of kettles in the kitchen and let people help themselves.

ManateeFair · 31/07/2022 11:06

Personally I’d do either cold soft drinks plus wine, or hot drinks and no wine.

edwinbear · 31/07/2022 11:06

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, if I’m being fed and have something to drink, I’m happy. I’d much rather spend time with you at an event than not being able to speak to you because you’re stuck in the kitchen!

Itsthelookitsthelook · 31/07/2022 11:06

Usually at these type of things the cups and teabags etc are set up and then people make their own. In my family we wouldn't eat cake without a cup of tea, even with a cold drink.

PeppaPigIsBacon · 31/07/2022 11:09

Itsthelookitsthelook · 31/07/2022 11:06

Usually at these type of things the cups and teabags etc are set up and then people make their own. In my family we wouldn't eat cake without a cup of tea, even with a cold drink.

Yes, this - I’d expect there to be some kind of hot water available, milk, box of teabags and jar of decent instant coffee for people to make their own.

I’d find it very odd to be offered alcohol rather than a cup of tea at a christening.

Whataretheodds · 31/07/2022 11:11

I'd also expect there to be an urn at a village hall (and mugs/cups and saucers) which would make a DIY tea/coffee situation easy - just provide the tea, coffee, sugar and milk.

Dewsberry · 31/07/2022 11:15

people have caffeine needs! And will be "needing" a cuppa after travelling and going to the service.

Talk to the person who organised the village hall for you. They are likely to have some sort of tea/coffee catering urn or something which you could set up for people to do their own. They might even know some scouts or similar who would be able to help out with serving for a small fee.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 31/07/2022 11:16

The fact nobody will be there to check how long things have been out is more worrying to me? Meat, seafood, cheese? More than 1-2 hours and people could get very sick.

DeanStockwelll · 31/07/2022 11:20

I think it would be fine without hot drinks but you could leave a kettle tea , coffee, milk, sugar so people can help themselves. Just incase the hall doesn't have any /many cups a take enough paper cups for 2 or 3 drinks per person

Luredbyapomegranate · 31/07/2022 11:23

I would expect a glass of wine for sure! (Unless you are born agains)

I don’t think hot drinks are a absolute deal breaker in summer, but people have caffeine needs and will ask so try and sort it if you can - usually there are insulated jugs, you just fill them up with boiling water from the urn and put them on the table with cups and tea bags. Obviously the water’s a bit off the boil, but it’s all you get at conferences etc. Or just let people at the urn, if the hall doesn’t mind. Ask the hall, they will likely have a solution.

KupoNutCoffee · 31/07/2022 11:23

It would be fairly usual just to have an urn, and people helping themselves. If you want to be extra nice, and move it quicker you can always have a couple serving the initial queue as everyone comes out. Basically making black teas and coffees and shooing everyone to another table for milk and sugar. Top up the urn and then leave it as help yourself.

Tea, coffee, sugar, perhaps sweetners and milk (and a dairy free one possibly).

Downside is someone has to do the washing up if you lay out crockery but perhaps just several tubes of disposable ones.

Augend23 · 31/07/2022 11:24

It's a village hall. I've visited a lot of village halls (politics, WI, cubs and scouts) and they have all had a berco (visit early to fill and put it on to heat) and a thousand of those green or blue heavy China cups and saucers. Buy a bulk pack of teabags, and a job lot of milk. If you're lucky they'll have some coffee set up but if not buy some decent instant. Leave people to make their own teas and coffees. I'd pop along to the hall first if you can to check exactly where everything is etc so you don't feel stressed not knowing if it will work out.

Original poster
Ilovechocolate87 · 31/07/2022 11:24

TheWayoftheLeaf · 31/07/2022 11:16

The fact nobody will be there to check how long things have been out is more worrying to me? Meat, seafood, cheese? More than 1-2 hours and people could get very sick.

The food is being dropped off at the time we will get to the hall, so that it won't be left out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ilovechocolate87 · 31/07/2022 11:32

Thanks for replies, maybe the way forward is to lay everything out for them to serve themselves, at least that would give them the option of having a hot drink without us having to faff about making it all, and everyone knows how they like their own hot drinks anyway so probably easier in that sense.
I would feel it would be more appropriate to serve teas and coffees than alcohol, at a daytime do focused around a baby.We are not a family who really drink anyway.

I was abit worried about the safety aspect with 30 young children running about and all those people wandering around with steaming hot drinks, but I guess we could provide takeaway style cups with lids to get around that, rather than open cups and saucers.

OP posts:
ecuse · 31/07/2022 11:38

You need a hot water urn 🙂

TeaMeBasil · 31/07/2022 11:41

I don't think you need to worry about the adults carrying hot drinks with kids running around - they'll be fine with a mug I'm sure!

Only using takeaway cups with lids for safety is definitely overthinking!

JingsMahBucket · 31/07/2022 11:46

@Ilovechocolate87 if you have a Starbucks or Costa near you, they can probably sell you a Joe to Go type of product. That’s a box of hot coffee with a spigot. They look like boxed wines but just with coffee instead. Get a couple of those and you’ll be fine. Then use the hot water urns for people to make tea.

Shinyandnew1 · 31/07/2022 11:47

At that sort of do, I would expect to see a table with lots of cups/saucers and a hot water urn, plus a stack of cups and large cartons of orange juice/apple juice and some bottles of wine/Shloer.

Randomthoughts992 · 31/07/2022 11:48

all events like that ive been too have been serve yourself, with hot coffee and tea stuff and cake and biscuits to help yourself too

Kite22 · 31/07/2022 11:50

I'd just leave the stuff there for people to make their own.

Although, my dd has done this for couples a couple of times as a teenager (through Church bookings) If you think you'd prefer that - ask as the Church if they know anyone, or the local Scouts / Guides / BB . Easy pocket money for a sensible teen or even adult, in truth.

rc22 · 31/07/2022 11:50

Hot water urn is the answer and village halls usually have them!!

BalloonsAndWhistles · 31/07/2022 11:52

I can’t believe so many people are agonising over this 😮 And people saying they wouldn’t have a cake without a hot drink…only on MN. Plus ‘caffeine needs!!’ Are people going to faint/die without a tea or coffee for 1-3 hours?

Anyway, I’ll bite. As ridiculous as I think it is. Personally I think just a cold drinks table is fine. If you absolutely must, then just direct people to the kitchen to make their own hot drink. They do it every day at home so I guess they’re fairly experienced at it.