AIBU To go back to him?

[GothicEnergy]

Good morning,

I am looking for some advice please as I don't have anyone to talk to in real life about this.

About 7 years ago I met a guy, we went on a few dates and we drifted, although when either of us has needed help, we were always there for one another with general day to day tasks.

About 3 months after we stopped seeing each other, he got back with his ex. They then split around 6 months later and they went no contact. During their relationship he messaged me to say we have always had a connection and that he wouldn't ever connect with someone the same way. I told him that I couldn't discuss it further as I respected his partner although I didnt know her, I only knew of her, I still did not want to disrespect her behind her back as I would not like it if the shoe was on the other foot.

We have kept our friendship purely platonic over the last 7 years and check in from time to time with each other. However, he often says that any man would be lucky to have me and that i have a huge heart with a great personality, tells me im gorgeous and he doesnt know why we both stopped seeing each other.

I am newly single and he is also single, do you think i should bring the fact up that I like him the next time we speak? Or do you think you should never go back to your past.

I guess I'm just wondering if you would take the risk? Would this ruin the amazing friendship we have? We always laugh together and then when things arent great he is the first to always show up for me.

Go for it.

No. If he thinks you're so fabulous why hasn't he done anything about it? I don't like the sound of the initial relationship drifting (why?), of him going back to his ex for a short-lived relationship, of him messaging you while he was with her. I think you are his back up and he says what he needs to say to keep you dangling.

Honestly, to me it sounds like he's just keeping you there as a back up option.
This man was sending you totally inappropriate messages for someone who was in a relationship. How can you be sure he won't be doing the same in a relationship with him.

If he really wanted to be with you he would have tried to make that happen.

Why? The fact that he wanted to cheat on his girlfriend with you isn’t because you’re special, it’s because he’s the kind of man who will cheat. Why on earth would you want to get involved with a man who you already know is the type to look for an opportunity to cheat?

Absolutely this! He's kept you dangling as a reserve option.

I wouldn't you're a fall back option. Would you trust him not to message other female friends you don't know about the way he has you? Guy sounds like a creep tbh you deserve better