How to accept with having just 1 child

[Blackeyedpea]

I had my dc at the age of 22 & haven't had any more. I'm now 27 and my dc is 5. At the time we lived with parents so child minder costs were easy. Now we rent a house and I have just started a new career.
If we had another child say in a couple of years when I've got my feet under the table at my new job there is no way we could afford child minding fees plus rent and household bills. It would seem like 2 separate families already.
I still have time on my side, but it would be hard going to increase my salary so much that even in 10 years time it would be hard to pay all the costs. In 10 years time my parents will be retired and my mum says she could look after them whilst we both worked. That would be a huge age gap, plus I'd be relying them on staying in good health in their retirement. My mum is already having weight related knee trouble.
Maybe I should just accept we can only afford one child and be grateful for what we have? It's hard though when your biological clock is ticking

Tbh I wouldn’t worry too much about the age gap.

life gets in the way of things and you just need to accept that if you want more kids but would prefer a career first then there will be an age gap but that’s ok!

good luck with your job and try not to stress

I've got an age gap of 6 years between and they are 16 and 22 and still sit in bed together gassing and looking at TikTok's. They don't need to be within a certain gap to get on.

We couldn't properly afford kids till mid 30s. Wanted savings, mortgage well underway and career well established before having them.

when your biological clock is ticking

you’re 27. If you mean “I don’t want a huge gap” then fine, but…. You’re 27.

I still have time on my side

Yes you do.

The most expensive childcare is only for 2 years if you take full mat leave. Once you start your new job, can you save a buffer for childcare over a couple of years? And I mean "you" plural. Childcare is a shared expense.

We pay £112 a month now for 3 days with the 30 hours scheme and tax free childcare.

I have one child who is 15.
there are lots of benefits to having one only.
you don’t get the constant squabbles or competitiveness of siblings. There’s no guarantee siblings will actually like each other!
Childcare costs do not stop when they go to school. You have all of the school holidays to cover and especially the summer holidays you can’t expect grandparents to do lots of days in a row.
My child does a couple of clubs which aren’t cheap and time consuming to run around and commit weekends to competitions.
as they get older they want/need more stuff.
ultimately if you think about another child regarding costs then no one would do it.
emotionally you need to be really honest with yourself about what you want as you can’t quantify feelings in financial terms.
do you want another child as you have a yearning or because you think you should?

Don't worry about the age gap. I had a 5 year age gap between my eldest and youngest and my partner had a 12 year old when we had our son. She adores him and is so helpful. Childcare is a pain but you find a way through and it's only for 3 years as they get funded hours at the age of 3 so by time you've had your maternity leave you only have to pay for 2 years. X

My neice & nephew were born 15 months apart and absolutely despise each other. They have their independent lives in two completely different fields and only speak to each other if it's absolutely necessary. (Late teens).

I have one DC and I'm glad because she is super self-reliant and bringing her up was financially and emotionally concentrated just on her. If I'd given her a sibling I don't think I would have coped. I would be breaking up fights all the time and getting overly stressed out (like my mum was towards me and my sibling). DC has lots of friends so she doesn't feel she's list anything by having a sibling and she rarely lonely.

I'm not saying don't have anymore. I'm saying it's not an exact science. My daughter's mates have much younger siblings and they get on fine, or not, depending on the family dynamics.

I started ttc at 37 and was too late - my eggs were no good any more. Don’t leave it ten years.

I am closest to my youngest sibling with a ten year age gap. We talk every day. They just get me, and I get them.

We have. 7 year gap, then 14 year gap. We are all very close.

I think you need to stop stressing. It's ok to not know at this point. As you say, you have (plenty of) time on your side.
Stop putting pressure on yourself to decide. Focus on your job, focus on living your best life. Enjoy spending time with your child.

Don't have any more children until you feel ready both emotionally AND financially. Don't stress about age gaps.
My SiL had two boys very close together so her eldest could have a sibling. She openly admitted she couldn't afford it but did it anyway. She loves her boys but she's always struggling for money. Sounds miserable to me.