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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do most people here take the entire year maternity leave?

77 replies

helloteas · 30/07/2022 23:37

I get paid full salary for around 7 and a bit months ( including holiday ).

For my first baby I went back at the point I stopped getting paid in full.

I'm considering taking the whole year this time, just because I think it might be less stressful.

Money isn't a huge issue. It was more of an issue last time, which is why I went back.

I feel like now with two small kids, working is going to be even harder. I mean to juggle it all. So I might as well wait until I've had a whole year.

What's the general consensus ? In my company, women tend to come back when full pay runs out..

OP posts:

CoalCraft · 31/07/2022 14:05

I went back after 9 .5 months with DC1 and plan to do about the same with DC2. I found I was just about ready by then and DD adapted to nursery really well at that age so it was perfect.

Scarlettpixie · 31/07/2022 14:09

I took a year. DS is 15 so back then SMP was only 6m. I would have taken 2 years if I could.

WonderWoop · 31/07/2022 14:17

I'm really torn about what to take. For DD I took 8 months but returned to work Sept 2020 and the covid experience of being a FTM meant I needed to get back to work.

This is my second (and final) pregnancy, I get 6 months full pay which is a huge luxury and we could afford the other 6 months. That said it would be a huge income loss as my husbands salary is significantly lower. Given I felt so ready last time to go back it's so hard to know, as this time I will have a toddler and the luxury of being able to get out and about a bit rather than the one-walk-a-day-alone of my last mat leave.

SouthLondonMum22 · 31/07/2022 14:28

3 months is the plan here. A full year would be too much for me.

Toottooot · 31/07/2022 14:29

Yes - 15 months for me.

NameChange30 · 31/07/2022 14:40

DC1 - born spring 2017 - 9 months (39 weeks). I didn't really enjoy maternity leave (in hindsight I had PND) and decided to go back to work when my Maternity Allowance ran out, although I used annual leave to go back gradually.

DC2 - born autumn 2020 - a full year plus a few weeks annual leave. I was able to do very little for the first 9 months or so because of covid, decided to take the full year so we could make the most of the summer with fewer restrictions, plus it was DC1's last summer before starting school. I used some annual leave so I didn't have to go back until DC1 had started school and DC2 had their first birthday.

Do whatever works for you.

NameChange30 · 31/07/2022 14:41

WonderWoop · 31/07/2022 14:17

I'm really torn about what to take. For DD I took 8 months but returned to work Sept 2020 and the covid experience of being a FTM meant I needed to get back to work.

Why not do shared parental leave? You could do 6-9 months and your husband could do 3-6 months. It would make more financial sense surely, aside from the other benefits (IMO).

DixonD · 31/07/2022 14:42

I was off for 15 months with mine (full year and accrued holiday, which I spread out so much because I only went back 2 days a week). Best time of my life 😁

WonderWoop · 31/07/2022 14:59

@NameChange30 yea definitely an option. He's self employed however so can take time out as we go, if that makes sense

TheBestSpoon · 31/07/2022 15:07

Currently on leave with DS2. With DS1, I went back after 6 months (dropping down to four days a week) and DH took the rest of the year on shared parental leave. This time we're planning to do roughly the same but DH has extra holiday built up, so I'm going back at 7 months and he's taking leave at the start so we have longer with both of us off to handover. Worked well for us - I'm not great with the baby stage, meant DH got to spend solo time with him and I still BFed DS1 in the mornings and evenings until he was 2.5, and he had formula during the day.

SquigglePigs · 31/07/2022 16:14

I was off for about 11 months then I used some of my accrued leave to be very part time to start with. I then built it up over a couple of months until I was doing 4 days a week. That lasted about 6 months, then I dropped another half day. I was lucky DH was at home when I went back so DD didn't start nursery until she was 13 months or so and built up to 3 days a week over a month or two.

cptartapp · 31/07/2022 16:31

Four months with my first and five with my second.
More then enough for me.

havanamama · 25/08/2022 15:58

I’m planning on full 12 months and wish it was more.

At the end of the day, I’m quite unlikely to take time off working until retirement which is 40 years of work at least, unless we are fortunate to have more children.

Ihaveoflate · 25/08/2022 16:05

Shared parental leave of 3 months each. I was more than ready to go back but I work part time anyway so maybe this was easier.

MrsSamR · 25/08/2022 16:12

I only received SMP after the birth of my daughter but took my full year maternity leave and will be doing the same for my second DD due in October. I'm lucky though as my husband is in a well paid job so we could afford to do this. If you can afford it definitely take the full year - it's such a precious time!

Flittingaboutagain · 25/08/2022 16:13

Well I had the money saved for mat leave and absolutely loved maternity leave with baby so was in no rush. The only couple of people I know who went back sooner couldn't afford not to. One friend had PND and wanted to work to get a break so went back to teaching full time after 6 months. It wasn't the fix she was hoping for though unfortunately.

mishmased · 25/08/2022 16:29

I went back to work almost 10 weeks ago after being home for almost 15 months. Baby was 13 months when I went back. I get full pay for almost 8 months, then 6 weeks holidays and 16 weeks unpaid leave for my third. First went back at 8 months and second at 10 months.Both statutory payment.

GlitteryGreen · 25/08/2022 16:33

I am going off on maternity leave in a couple of weeks and planning to take the year at this stage, however it's only financially viable due to savings. I don't think I'd be able to do it again if I had a 2nd.

trilbydoll · 25/08/2022 16:39

I was very ready to go back after 9m, I went back once the 39w of SMP stopped. With dd2 I was actually financially worse off back at work, to give you an idea of how desperate I was to get back!

2dc is more of a juggle if they are in different places etc, it was fine at first because they were both at nursery but then dd1 started preschool so it was two separate childcare runs.

havanamama · 25/08/2022 18:15

@trilbydoll if not a secret, was it that you missed your work or that you struggled to look after the child?

RoundTheTwister · 25/08/2022 19:18

I took 14 months off for both of mine - a combination of mat leave, unpaid mat leave, annual leave and the 2 weeks unpaid parental leave I was entitled to. I realise we were lucky to be able to afford this but I'm so pleased I did it, it's such a precious time.

cadburyegg · 25/08/2022 19:21

With my first I went back after 12 months but I was only one day a week for the first month or so! The purpose was to use up the annual leave but in small chunks. It was awful. Felt like I couldn't get back into things properly plus I was itching to go back before I actually did.

With my second I went back after 10.5ish months as money was more of an issue, although technically I went back at 9 months but took a lot of annual leave at once.

Simonjt · 25/08/2022 19:30

I did 14 months adoption leave the first time (obviously no birth to recover from, you can extend it and the LA will provide some funding), this time round we’re doing a year but we have taken six months each.

It depends on the situation, our daughter has been fairly easy, sleeps fairly well etc, so we’re both quite well rested usually, so work for both of us could easily be an option. If you have a baby who doesn’t sleep well etc then its a different story.

I enjoyed my adoption leave, even though I was broke the first time, he was almost three when I went back to work, so maybe it was more enjoyable because he was more fun than a small baby. I loved adoption leave this time round, I was quite upset when it was time to go back to work, I’m not so upset when I get to stay in bed as I have work the next day.

Snowiscold · 25/08/2022 19:34

I went back after six months with both of my DC. I got 90% of my pay for six weeks, and then SMP for the rest.

WeightoftheWorld · 25/08/2022 19:35

I think this varies loads surely depending on finances amongst other things.

In total with DC1 I was off for about 10 months from start to finish - 9 months of SMP + 1 month of annual leave. DH was a FT student at the time with a £5k annual bursary, so I had to go back when I did. We relied quite heavily on tax credits and PIP too though - but the tax credits were based on me working ofc.

For DC2 - current baby - bit different as I'm not going back to my old job and moving to a few different ones instead. I will have taken the full 12 months mat leave - 9 months SMP + 3 months unpaid, + 3 weeks holiday so about 12.5 months total. But I started one of the new jobs when I began the unpaid part of my mat leave, and another new job I'm about to start too, and then the third not until my mat leave officially has ended. DC2 is about to start nursery at 10.5 months old as we can afford a few extra early weeks so that I can get him settled in before I'm working regularly and so that I can get prepared for going back to office-based work - shopping for clothes etc! And deep cleaning the house, all the things I've not managed to do in 12 months since my mat leave first started! Finances obviously less of an issue this time - as DH earns a decent enough wage now (double what I was earning).

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