To say that many people don't think saying "thank you" is important these days?

[turquoise1988]

I have two DC, aged 7 and 4. Like many, they've been invited to several children's parties so far this year.

At each party we've been to, we've given a gift and a card. Haven't spent silly amounts, but would like to think that we've been thoughtful and gone to some sort of effort.

Of all of the parties we've been to this year, which is probably around 7-8, only one child/parent sent a note to say thank you for attending the party and for the gift.

Now before anyone says that 'thank you notes' are a thing of the past, I know that this is true in many cases. But AIBU to expect a thank you at the party itself or a text afterwards just as acknowledgement?

Before we leave we always say the usual "thanks for having us," which is usually met with a "thanks for coming," but do people just assume that this also means "thanks for the gift" as well now?

Example - one party we went to recently. We arrived, gift in hand, to be met by the party child who looked at us and said, "the presents go over there." Then...nothing. No thanks, not even from the parent.

It's not even just kids' parties. Family member had a wedding a couple of years back. We bought a nice gift, spent money getting new outfits, travelling there, etc. Not even as much as a text to say thanks!

Another friend recently had a baby and her older child's birthday was around the same time. Again, we visited, bought gifts for both, which were not acknowledged when we went there. Of course, I know and understand that life with a newborn gives you a brain fog. But even a few weeks or even months after...nothing? Even a "you know what it's like in the early days, but just wanted to send a quick text to say thanks for X and X's things," would have been plenty!

I don't know. I'm probably going to be told I massively overthink it. But AIBU to think that more and more people just assume that you know they are thankful and can't really be arsed/don't think about putting in a minuscule amount of effort to say "thanks" for people's time, effort and gifts?

I tried to do that but my four year old was determined to open them quicker than I could make a note. I did send a text message to each one to say thank you though!

I tried to do that but my four year old was determined to open them quicker than I could make a note

We've had thank you cards from every wedding we have ever attended and sent them from hours.

Children's parties are different. We & children always thank verbally every child for any gift and/or attending, but I wouldn't then send a thank note as well, just a whatsapp to a group.

Lately I send fewer paper notes & cards because I feel its wasteful in terms of the environment.

I tried to do that but my four year old was determined to open them quicker than I could make a note

I have noticed this since COVID. Before COVID I would always receive a thank you card after kids parties. After COVID (for my younger son) I have never received as much as a thank you text for a present.

I have noticed more rudeness, more anger when at work since covid so I agree with you.

I've thought the same, it seems to be more of a post-pandemic thing, although I also think social media has contributed in that it makes it easy to give blanket, generic responses rather than more personalised ones.

I get that people are busy - we are all busy. But I just can't shake an element of laziness and/or entitlement.

I don't fully understand the 'we've given you a party, you've given us a gift, so we are even' thing, either. It's a bizarre attitude. The party is for the birthday child, isn't it? Of course they can't fully celebrate without guests, but I've never considered that I'm throwing a birthday party for my child and that it's for the guests, not the child themselves .