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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age did you leave your child in the bath alone?

41 replies

Burnt0utMum · 30/07/2022 18:43

DD has just turned 8. She gets showers on her own and I wait outside the bathroom, but I still worry about baths. She wants to use her new bath bombs so is asking for baths more often and I feel like she's old enough to be in there on her own but then I worry about how easily drowning can happen. She can swim ok but I don't think that matters in a bath. What age did you leave your kids alone in the bath? Just want to get an idea of what everyone else thinks is acceptable to see if I'm being too over protective.

OP posts:
RewildingAmbridge · 30/07/2022 18:49

DH is nearly 4 and I don't watch him like a hawk, I pop in and out folding laundry, talking to him while I'm out of the room, so would know if he wasn't responding. What are your specific concerns about an eight year old who can swim drowning in the bath?

changingforthebetter3 · 30/07/2022 18:51

Since my dc were 4+ but with the door open and me pottering around upstairs. Now almost 8 and I still like to be listening out, I don't feel quite ready to completely leave them to it yet

CallMeBubbleDarling · 30/07/2022 18:51

DS is 6 in two days and for the last year will bath with the door open while I’m in the next room reading his brother a story (door also open). He’s very noisy in the bath so I can always hear him and if he goes quiet I’d be in like a shot. I’m not ready for him to be on a different floor bathing yet but I would say an 8 year old would be fine

trevthecat · 30/07/2022 18:51

As above, I leave my 4 Yr old whilst I do jobs upstairs. At 8 my daughter was bathing completely independently

Phos · 30/07/2022 18:52

About 4 (she's 5 now). I'll keep popping my head in but she has no medical needs and I can't see any situation where she would drown in the bath. To be fair she splashes about so much and natters away to her toys so I can hear she's ok!

PrezelwithMarmite · 30/07/2022 18:52

Dd was 3 and id, polish or sort upstairs while she was bathing but she sings and chats the whole time, if she was quiet I'd be in there in a flash. Upstairs is quite small

JorisBonson · 30/07/2022 18:55

I'm 37 and if I have a bath at my mum's house she still shouts to make sure I've not drowned 🤣

Original poster
Burnt0utMum · 30/07/2022 19:11

So it seems I'm over worried. Just don't know how to relax about it. There's no reason why she would drown but it's still a tiny possibility and I just don't feel I can risk it. I know I have to start giving her independence though.

OP posts:
GoT1904 · 30/07/2022 19:19

I'm with you kinda. My DD's are 9 and 6. I don't think I'd leave my 6yo, she's too silly. My 9 year old always wants me to sit in the room with her as she likes to have me to herself for a bit to talk about things. Maybe I need to start encouraging her to be more independent with it. But then I feel like in the next year or two she won't want me there anyway.

ManateeFair · 30/07/2022 19:22

An 8-year-old can have a bath on her own; it seems really infantilising and OTT to be supervising them at that age. She’s no more likely to drown in the bath than an adult is.

Also: you are waiting outside the bathroom every time your 8 year old has a shower? Why?! What on earth do you think is going to happen to her? She’s not a toddler. She can have a shower without you standing guard.

maddiemookins16mum · 30/07/2022 19:25

Under 5 - in the bathroom, under 8 I would be upstairs but not perched on the loo seat throughout watching. 9 (ish onwards) I’d be doing stuff but keeping a close eye. I honestly think it would be unusual for a child of 8 to drown in a bath.

gracedentssketty · 30/07/2022 19:28

DC1 is almost 4 and is big for age too - I will do some jobs like folding and putting away laundry whilst he’s hsving a bath in our en suite as I can talk to him

dont leave the other one who is nearly 2

pastabest · 30/07/2022 19:30

My 4.5 and 5.5 year old have a bath together as they like playing with toys and bubbles so I'm happy to leave them to it while I do other things. Usually that's emptying laundry baskets and sorting clothes out.

I'm never out of earshot for more than about 1 -2 mins - mostly to go to put a load of washing in and set the machine off.

I've risk assessed it and decided that the tub is not big enough or deep enough for them to both spontaneously drown in at the same time in such a short period of time.

SecretSnake · 30/07/2022 19:33

8?! My 8 year old has been bathing alone since 4. She can spend up to 2 hours fucking about in the bath, ain’t nobody got time for that!

Curiosity101 · 30/07/2022 19:33

I mostly supervise DS who is almost 3 but have started nipping out for a few seconds here and there, I've also cleaned the bathroom etc so I don't literally watch him all the time anymore. I'd imagine by 4 I'll be leaving him mostly unsupervised but within earshot/talking to him whilst I do jobs upstairs.

I can't imagine worrying about an 8 year old / keeping a close eye on them at all. To be fair I haven't gotten that far yet though.

Knittingnanny2 · 30/07/2022 19:34

I used to put all three of mine in the bath together under 6, keep the door open, do lots of jobs upstairs and then sit and read a bit of my book. Top up the hot water occasionally and add a few more bubbles.
I used it as my break time!
This was back in the early 80’s though when we “ had different rules”

eagle9 · 30/07/2022 19:34

JorisBonson · 30/07/2022 18:55

I'm 37 and if I have a bath at my mum's house she still shouts to make sure I've not drowned 🤣

Sounds about right Grin

BeanieTeen · 30/07/2022 19:39

DS is 4 and I just listen out for him - only because he’s so noisy in the bath, so it works. If he played in silence I’d probably be in there or constantly checking!
I would definitely leave an 8 year old to have a bath. Just check every so often to make sure all is good.

LovinglifeAF · 30/07/2022 19:45

Why don’t you start with the door open and keep chatting to her, that will hopefully reassure you.

I think at 8 you have to start letting go on things like this. She’s going to want her privacy soon and kids not much older are starting periods/puberty etc

Rustydress · 30/07/2022 19:46

JorisBonson · 30/07/2022 18:55

I'm 37 and if I have a bath at my mum's house she still shouts to make sure I've not drowned 🤣

This makes me smile!

Forestdweller11 · 30/07/2022 19:48

Don't want to add to your anxiety but I'd just be saying to her to be careful as the bath bomb might make the bath slippy. I wouldn't be monitoring her at 8 though unless she was taking a long time and hogging the bathroom.
Mine was about 5.

AliceS1994 · 30/07/2022 20:00

Ask her to leave the door unlocked and every so often chat to her, doubt she will be longer than 15 mins at that age as will get bored easily?

Everythingiscopy · 30/07/2022 20:09

My DD is 4 and I pop in and out, sometimes nip downstairs to grab something - I never leave her long but I don’t watch her like a hawk either.

Siameasy · 30/07/2022 20:12

DD is 7. I potter upstairs when she’s in the bath and have done for a while now.

Penguinfeather781 · 30/07/2022 20:21

Around 4 I stopped sitting by the bath watching and started pottering upstairs with the door open. By 8 I wouldn’t have been out of earshot but I certainly wasn’t watching (except to ensure they actually got clean). DC couldn’t swim, but it was 1.5ft of water at most, in a 5ft long tub, what use would trying to swim be?! They were no more likely to drown than DH - yes ok they could theoretically had a freak seizure or fallen over from sitting, hit their head and blacked out, but that’s a fairly remote chance.