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AIBU?

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Original poster

Annoyed by weekend guest

28 replies

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 30/07/2022 17:36

Have an old friend and her partner coming for the weekend. Asked her not to come on Saturday as I have been invited to a party - no problem, they would come and stay Sunday night. Then got a message that they wanted to come on Saturday. Asked my friend if they could come with me to the party - told them they could come to be told that no, they did not want to. So not sure what to do Saturday night. Asked a few days ago when they would expect to arrive. She asked if she could update me closer to the time. Messaged yesterday. Still not sure. Got a message saying they were going to another town on the way. Still no idea when they would arrive. No problem, did chores, went to an event I wanted to go to, aimed to be home about 3pm. Got an update saying they would be here 3.30pm. Said no problem, even if I had stopped at the supermarket on the way I would only be a minute or two away. Then got a message saying they would take their time. Several updates later they are expected at about 6pm. Am I unreasonable to be a bit annoyed at her?

OP posts:
hesttreat · 30/07/2022 17:38

They're bloody rude! Are you still going to the party? I hope you are!

Hotandbothereds · 30/07/2022 17:40

How bloody rude of them! What are they planning to do tonight? I hope you’re still going to your party!

Mookie81 · 30/07/2022 17:40

She's a twat.
Stop letting her dictate your time, tell her when you are available and if she doesn't work around it she can sit on the bloody doorstep!

PancakesWithCheese · 30/07/2022 17:41

I think you should have just said no you can’t come Saturday.

Brigante9 · 30/07/2022 17:41

I would have sacked them off, quite frankly. If you’re staying with people, surely it must be at their convenience? I think they’ve been very rude.

ChocoButterfly · 30/07/2022 17:41

Of course. You need to tell them that it's annoyed you and you need to tell them directly what you want next...as in the time you're willing to have them over if you still are willing.
You should defo go to the party

Quitelikeit · 30/07/2022 17:42

How is it rude?! They’re just taking their time

op should have said I’ll be out at this time and leaving for the party at 6 so be here before then. End of

PlentyOFool · 30/07/2022 17:42

Entitled much? Reply that's unfortunate as you will have already left for the party by then so you'll see them tomorrow. And do just that. Don't offer solutions or keys or food. Just lock up and leave and enjoy your night. I would be mortified to treat my host like this

Mamamia7962 · 30/07/2022 17:42

Why did you not stick to what you originally said that they would have to come Sunday as you were at a party on Saturday

ultraviolet4753 · 30/07/2022 17:42

Rude. Are they using you as a base for touristy stuff?

Hope they brought you a hosting gift.

NeedAHug22 · 30/07/2022 17:45

Go to the party. Text them you assumed they book into a hotel after messing you about and you'll see them another time.

SunshineAndFizz · 30/07/2022 17:52

Next time...

"If you don't want to come to the party on Saturday no problem, but if so it'll make more sense for you to arrive on Sunday instead as I'll obviously be out. How about you arrive at x o'clock" on Sunday.

MomwasCasual · 30/07/2022 17:54

I can't get past the

'please don't come on Saturday'

'Ok'

'We want to come on Saturday'

'Ok then'

part!

Justcallmebebes · 30/07/2022 17:56

I'm a bit anal about timekeeping and planning so it would piss me off but if it was a good friend, I'd just carry on with my plans and just let her do her thing and fit around me

HollowTalk · 30/07/2022 17:56

You are really rolling over and letting them do whatever they want. Personally I would go to the party on my own. If they haven't shown by the time you leave, that's their problem.

EinsteinaGogo · 30/07/2022 18:12

How come they are coming to visit this weekend, OP, if you're going out?

Could they have arranged something for another weekend?

dworky · 30/07/2022 18:12

Why did you allow them to ignore what you'd clearly stated?

BMW6 · 30/07/2022 19:02

Ffs why do people allow themselves to be treated like shite and then whine about it on here!?

MrsDamonSalvatore · 30/07/2022 19:07

You should have stuck to your guns and said Saturday doesn’t work for me, we’ll see you on a Sunday. Don’t be a doormat!

Duckswaddle · 30/07/2022 19:30

This sounds so like my brother in law and his partner. Their time is sooo much more important and they’re so self absorbed they can’t consider anyone else’s commitments.
Just leave them to it and go about your day.

MissBPotter · 30/07/2022 19:37

Did you invite them for the weekend and then say actually you can’t come on sat as I’m going to a party? If so then you’re rude. Sunday isn’t a weekend and you should’ve declined the party invite.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 30/07/2022 19:59

I can’t really see why you didn’t just say ‘I’ve got a party that weekend; can we make it another weekend instead?’ But if they’re happy to stay at your place knowing you’re going out, then yes, it is a bit shit to turn up two and a half hours late when they know you need to get ready.

Whammyyammy · 30/07/2022 20:15

They're rude.
I would be at the party, and they'd be waiting outside my house for when and if I get back....

Echo65 · 30/07/2022 20:16

Reading between the lines abit this sounds like a miscommunication to me… Could it be that she was trying NOT to put you out hence visiting a random town en route, “taking their time” (for your benefit as you had told her you were out)? Not wanting to intrude by coming with you to your party (as an afterthought). Feeling a bit paranoid/anxious and uncomfortable about being an inconvenience? Is it possible you weren’t as clear as you thought you were for the sake of politeness as well? Or yeah she’s just an inconsiderate selfish prick. Pick your interpretation she’s your old friend so you’d know what’s more likely

Cakeandcardio · 30/07/2022 21:29

BMW6 · 30/07/2022 19:02

Ffs why do people allow themselves to be treated like shite and then whine about it on here!?

I think because it's really hard to be so ballsy and some people try to avoid confrontation. That's probably why the op is complaining on here. She's taken aback by the cheeky fuckery but isn't naturally confrontational

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