Do you ever feel that you aren't mentally stimulating?

[Bzzzzzzz]

I have a Degree and I'm doing a Master's, and I speak other languages well so I guess I must have some level of intelligence.
I think that I just don't read a lot, lack general knowledge and lack a great understanding of politics, and this translates in a certain way to people.
I enjoy reading to learn, for instance I've been reading a book about Chinese culture which is really interesting. I don't enjoy reading novels or philosophy, I just can't get into a lot of fiction.

I don't do well in pub quizzes because of my lack of general knowledge. As I say I have a basic idea of politics but certainly not in depth.
I do read the news daily but I just think I come across to people as lacking in depth.

I was looking at some Facebook profiles and there are many posts about feminism, politics etc. That I really couldn't see myself engaging in debate on.

I stumbled across some old Facebook messages of somebody I'd had feelings for as a teenager (15 years ago really). I couldn't care less about this loser now but reading the messages he'd rejected me as we had nothing 'concrete' in common, in his words, we'd end up just "talking about the weather" etc.
I'd been interested in him as we were learning the same language and liked a lot of the same music but this came across as if he saw himself as clearly intellectually superior to me.

I had an abusive ex who told me the girl he cheated on me with 'challenges' him mentally. I do share opinions and I don't always agree with everything people say, I didn't quite know what he meant.

I'm worried my partner views me as lacking. Obviously we're all different, he doesn't have the qualifications that I have but he's certainly 'smarter' in my eyes. He seems to favour me for kindness and patience as well as sense of humour, which are important traits, though I guess he wouldn't be with me if he thought I was missing in some areas. However he's never said anything about how I stimulate or challenge him. I remember feeling a bit insecure as he told me he and this woman at work had read 5 of the same books of late, I hadn't read any of them. However it shouldn't matter I know.

People always say they want or are attracted to a partner that 'challenges' and stimulates them. Come to think of it, I was seeing a guy for around a month who told me that he needed to be 'battled more' whatever that meant. Ultimately these people aren't right for me but I think the combination of it has affected my self esteem.
I'm sure the answer will be to keep reading and learning more, but is it? I hope people know what I'm trying to say here. Sorry it's long.

Agree. All of my DP’s exes are interesting, clever women. It’s why I’m good friends with a couple of them, they’re great. But I don’t measure myself against them or find myself coming up lacking, I am just interesting and clever in a different way, theirs doesn't detract from mine.

You have a specialist subject of knowledge i.e. the one your MA is in, and interests you’re passionate about. You’re not inadequate, you’re just different to some other people.

If there's actually anything in what your abusive ex said (and there's a high probability that there's not, I expect he's most likely just a twat who's trying to justify cheating on you) do you think he might have been saying he found you too much of a people pleaser rather than meaning it in an intellectual sense? Without any further context I think that's how I'd interpret that statement.

I just don't think people really care that much about things like how many books you've read. I read loads, everything from classics to airport trash, but it's very rare that it comes up in conversation.

I've also met some very intelligent people, that have no common sense !

Thank you, I'll try to not overthink it. I shouldn't need to change myself for anybody, and I need to just focus on what I am actually interested in

this. You are not in this world to be intellectually stimulating or challenging to benefit other people. You are in this world to be YOU

I think it’s personality too though. It’s not just knowing the facts, it’s making an impassioned and credible argument, showing interest and enthusiasm, playing devil’s advocate and so forth.

I know people who can make the most boring facts dramatic or entertaining or to make you look at them in a different way. So learning is great but charisma makes the difference.

You’ve allowed unpleasant people to destroy your self esteem. That’s a real shame. It’s not true that most people want to be with someone who has a particular kind of general knowledge and reads certain books, far from it. Some of those people are posers anyway. Hopefully you’ll meet people you have similar interests to you and don’t look down on others.
You’re working on a higher degree and speak several languages- you’re definitely an interesting person!