Partner out tonight

[WidgetDigit2022]

Long term partner, 3 young kids together.

Partner goes into town to work today. He usually works from home but occasionally needs to go in for a team meeting.

No contact all day as both busy. I called him at around 6pm during bathtime to see when he'd be home. No answer.

I call him again around 7pm once kids are in bed and he picks up. Supposedly hadn't seen my missed call. He's out for drinks with work friends apparently.

AIBU to feel annoyed? Annoyed that I did dinner, bathtime, bedtime and he couldn't even be bothered to tell me he wouldnt be there for it? Luckily I ate with the kids but for all he knew I could have made us dinner and waited for him.

Would this annoy you?

Not really enough information. Is this a pattern or out of character?
Did he just get busy and forget to call? Does he normally do his fair share of everything?

You didn’t make dinner and wait on him to eat so don’t get annoyed about things that didn’t actually happen. That helps no one.

He hardly ever goes out and he very rarely goes into the office. He also does his fair share around the house.

I'm not annoyed about him being out at all. I really don't care, he deserves time out of the house.

I care that he didn't think to let me know. Not yesterday, this morning or even at 5pm tonight. He didn't even pick up my call at 6pm. I only found out at 7pm when I had already called twice.

It's the expectation that because he's in the office, he can get back as late as he wants without even letting me know, let alone asking, despite me having 3 kids to look after at home (I work part time but am at home today).

I would always let him know if I planned to stay out after work. I wouldn't just not turn up.

It would absolutely annoy me. Not necessarily because of the going out for drinks but the lack of respect to not even give you a heads up. It’s rather indicative of how lowly he views you.

I would be mad at this. I expect communication, like I give communication. A simple heads up is all that's needed so you're not waiting around.