Perimenopause? Feeling really weird

[Europeangirl2022]

I am 49 and definitely in perimenopause- I have atrophy and take vagifem for that and have dabbled with HRT but didn’t completely get on with it- not ruling out out though.

The thing that’s really getting to me is how weird I feel at certain times of the month, often ovulation & periods as mine are still regular.

I feel flat, empty, like I don’t exist, like I have nothing to say & sometimes I feel (at these points in the month) like I could not speak again as there is just nothing I want to say. I have NO libido which isn’t such an issue as I am in an unhappy relationship but I wonder how I could ever have sex with anyone ever again. Vagifem has helped the the physical stuff but it’s this weird feeling of disappearing that I find it hard to shake. I know people talk about invisibility when you reach a certain age but this feels more than just how I look.

like I say- it’s not all the time and usually linked to hormones. Aibu to think it’s probably perimenopause as I don’t feel depressed- just fucking empty and weird at certain times of the month.

anyone else experienced this?

I didn't feel quite like that but similar. I had huge memory blanks and found it hard to get my thoughts together to form sentences. I forgot all sorts - words, names, things I'd done, things I had. It was very depressing. It's only now looking back I realise quite what an impact it had on me, especially now I'm just about on the other side. It's very likely to be linked to perimenopause from what you describe. Feeling blank can be a form of depression, which is definitely a perimenopause thing, along with rage and anxiety!

Invisibility isn’t about how you look IMO, it’s about how you are seen/treated.
The whole ‘what is a woman’ thing really pisses me off now, yet my DD’s don’t see a problem with it. The whole ‘karen’ thing and how older women are treated, young women joining in and laughing at misogyny.
How you are passed over at work despite your experience.
Your kids thinking your stupid and don’t bother to contact you except when they want money.
That’s invisible to me.

I do have a similar feeling. I’m still having fairly regular periods but had a blood test and def peri menopausal. Over the past two years it feels like the colour has drained from my world. On the surface of things I can function and work and I love my husband but there’s an all pervading feeling of ‘what’s the point’ and a sense of nihilism. It reminds me of what I felt like as a teenager but then there was acres of time ahead. Now it’s a feeling of pointlessness and physical evidence of mortality! This sounds so depressing just writing it and truly it’s not dreadful all the time but there’s definitely very little easy pleasure in anything. I also have suffered from atrophy these past two years and use oestrogen cream. That definitely takes its toll and knocks your femininity and confidence. I don’t know what the answer is but it’s definitely really bad a few days before my period and I just tell myself it will pass. This doesn’t bring you much hope but I wanted to let you know that I recognise the feeling.