Packing arrrgh!

[Eleusa]

We’re going on holiday early tomorrow and I’m going to do some packing today. DH has just been chuckling about the fact it takes me so long to pack- he’ll just stick his clothes in the bag five minutes before we leave.

Aargh, yes it takes me a long time to pack but that’s because I’m packing for the family- checking what the kids are bringing (they are old enough to do their own but not old enough that I can just assume they’ve packed the right stuff), suncream, beach towels, medical stuff, passports, travel docs, adaptors etc etc. Obviously that takes longer than putting three T-shirts in a bag.

Is it just me?

Not just you - just patriarchy!

it’s most often that the woman/mum of the household finds themselves in your position and most often the dad/man who’s packing his 7 tees and boxers and done.

it’s how mental load runs society as we know it :)

I wouldn’t pack his passport then, that’ll learn him

Ha ha love it 🥰

But if he's so efficient surely you make him pack the kids stuff as well ?

Well of course packing for 3 (you) takes longer than packing for as 1 (him) and that’s saying nothing of all the misc family stuff like chargers and sunscreen. I’d be so annoyed at the chuckling, where’s the appreciation for you! I put this to bed when DC1 was 2- he had to get an uber back home from the airport for his drivers license and made the flight by the skin of his teeth, then when we arrived he had to drive around in the car looking for somewhere that had nappies in the right size since he reckoned he could do the packing oh so efficiently but forgot about those. Now he asks me how long I need, takes the kids out and says thank you.

I hate packing ! It is a real chore

Ha! Yes, DH, god love him, does the same thing. He packs two pairs of shorts and some T-shirts and wonders why I get in a stress - and then is guaranteed to turn up on holiday and start asking where the toothpaste, suncream, ibuprofen is…

We had this conversation precisely once. (I hate packing anyway, this is a known thing in our family and the rule is when i go to pack there will be procrastination, probably tears, gin and eventually, but on time to leave, a packed bag)

I said: right, i pack for me. You pack for you and everyone else in the family. And lo - unto us on holiday it became clear that Important Things had been forgotten (only they hadn't because i did a run round before we left)

Thus, i was crowned Queen of Packing and nobody takes the piss out of my holiday packing spreadsheet which has been used and adapted over the years.

I am chief packer. DH gets his clothes out. I pack for the whole family.

In return he cleans the whole flat whilst Im packing and shuts the shutters, turns off water and some plugs etc. When we leave.

If he laughed at me he'd get short shrift. Fortunately he thanks me for doing the packing 😊

DH has just been chuckling about the fact it takes me so long to pack- he’ll just stick his clothes in the bag five minutes before we leave.

Mines the chuck a few things in a bag at the last minute type too. Which is why he usually ends up having to buy stuff while we are there.. .

Why isn’t he doing one of the kids packing?

Yeah we self catering holiday in the UK with kids & dogs so it usually involves packing everything including the kitchen sink! We had this a few times and after having to make expensive trips to buy things we had at home we now divide the jobs before we go - I pack everything except his clothes and personal items and he does the all the pre holiday jobs like securing house, the clearing the fridge and bins, checking the tyre pressure, filling fuel, checking route and parking, check in times etc.

At least it's not just me!

I actually don't mind doing it- it's just annoying to have it implied that I'm some sort of high maintenance person packing five different sorts of hairdryer when actually it's things like mosquito repellant and kids' prescription meds 😭

I have a spreadsheet with tabs for different kind of holidays/duration. It also includes info for DD. It only takes a few minutes to review the relevant tab and then I can pass it to DH to do the packing. Would that work for you?

DH is very grateful for the packing lists I prepare otherwise he'd forget most things as he travels for work and doesn't think about 'holiday' packing.

Kids have been given lists from young - to choose clothes, etc. not actual packing as that's got to be done 'my' way!

I do ask DH to be responsible to parking, leave times, packing the car and making sure our transport is organised/ready.

It's a balance that works for us but it took a few trials (and many errors!) to get there 😝

Same here. However, DH is responsible for how own stuff and 'non clothes items' like chargers, beach stuff etc. He also does things like take the cat to the cattery, sort the bins, empty the fridge etc so not all bad.

I do live with a person who can at least pack for himself.
However I get pissed off when he insists we share the two bags or cases. Ffs why?
So we get to destination and I have to root through two cases for my stuff.
I have solved this now by packing my stuff in my case whilst he is out. And then he is miffed. I dont know why.

Back when I was a single parent, I taught my kids pretty young to pack for themselves. I would check the basics were packed, but not sweat the small stuff.

@Terfydactyl he's not wrong though - if you share the bags at least if one goes missing you still have stuff.

Having said that I'm not a suitcase sharer. Just back from a holiday where we did share a case (to save on hold baggage fees) and by the end of the 3 weeks i was ready to commit bloody murder.

I have a spreadsheet too! But I'm not as expert to have different tabs! What a great idea.

ExH was one of these too. DP however, totally different. He writes a list on his phone during the week before, adding things as he thinks of them, then checks it off as he packs. Sharing the mental load with him has really hammered how how fucking stressful it is when you have to carry it all by yourself.