Therapist wouldn't let me end therapy

[helloteas]

I had a therapist for a few years a while ago. It was psychotherapy I paid for privately.

I kept wanting to leave, but therapist kept convincing me I should stay because she always felt that I was going through changes or things that required the support.

Can someone enlighten me as to how ending therapy is supposed to work ? I think I tried to leave 5 -6 times before I finally left and she accepted it. I was in therapy for around 2 years, but probably tried to start leaving after around 6 months to a year.

I think I did benefit from it, but sometimes I wonder if it was OK that she kept prolonging it.

I mean surely you could have just cancelled your next appointment and then never booked another?

If you didn’t turn up for a session, she couldn’t have insisted and that would have ended the obligation

I just stopped going. I ghosted my therapist, she contacted me once and i ignored her

It depends on how she worded it and how you presented wanting to leave. It's common to feel like you want to stop therapy when you are getting close to some resolution it often gets bad before it gets better and can be very frightening. I think it's fine for a therapist to suggest you need more sessions however you weren't chained to stay with them neither contractually nor physically. Perhaps part of it is the nature of the issues you went to see them for or maybe your lack of assertiveness? In the future if you find it easier do it over email or text.

What did / does your contract say? Some have a "notice period" i.e. you can end it at any time but you're still obligated to have another month of sessions (or pay for them at least).

Eh? You could have stopped going at any time. They can’t make you go. You could have cancelled. Just because they wanted you to keep going, that doesn’t mean you had to just passively agree to it. You’re an adult.

I had a therapist who was the same, I had tried leaving therapy for over a year before she took no for an answer.

I think she was trying to be my saviour, she kept telling me the reason I wanted to see her was attachment problems and I just needed to trust her more.

She had some kind of mental hold over me, it was only after I left that I realised how unethically she behaved (there were more issues). Clients are in a vulnerable position and can easily be manipulated.

So, no, it was not ok for your therapist to keep prolonging your therapy.

@ChezVous77 is correct - many clients will unconsciously realise they're about to come up against something significant - like pain or anger - and will rationalise to themselves that they no longer need therapy or that it's not working.

The fact you kept returning suggests to me that perhaps you weren't ready to end ... until you did. And you may find yourself going back into therapy at a later date as the next layer of the onion is asking to be peeled away.