To be concerned about 'snacks'

[dayoneoftheschoolholidays]

So it's the first day of the school holidays for us.

My daughter (9) is an absolute nuisance for asking for snacks every waking minute of the day, it's manageable at the weekend, but 40 solid days of this incessant mithering is going to finish me off.

We have been to a play centre today and out and about running a few errands, so not bored lazing around the house.

But all she's done is mither about food and snacks, slushies at the play centre, vending machine, etc...

She got slushy, and we had a McDonald's lunch for a first day off treat, but since getting home it's the usual mithering for junk food.

She's a healthy size and weight, fits into clothes for her age with plenty of room, plays football, swims, does gymnastics, so I'm not concerned about that side of things, but obviously if I allow her to stuff herself silly it could become an issue in the future.

She eats well, three decent meals a day and plenty of healthy snacks available whenever she wants such as fruit, rice cakes, water, vegetable sticks etc. But she constantly wants biscuits, crisp, chocolate, sweets, fizzy drinks.

We don't not allow it. She is allowed maybe 1 or 2 small things a day, the odd fizzy drink when we eat out, we don't have a ban on this stuff, I just want her to enjoy it in moderation and not gorge on it for the sake of it.

I've explained it isn't healthy for her, she needs to have a drink if she feels like she might be hungry, or grab an apple or something, not constantly pester me for crap food, but it goes in one ear and out of the other and before I know it she appears again mithering for 'snacks'.

How do you/would you manage this?

I think snacking is one of the most noticeable differences between parenting today and parenting in the early 80’s. There seems to be a whole industry built around snacks! Can you just not say no, it will soon be lunch/dinner/tea time? If it bothers you of course, I not making judgements.
Mine had breakfast, a drink and a biscuit mid morning, lunch, tea at 5, a bath a drink before bed and so on. Maybe an icecream if we were out for the day in the summer. When they were teenagers, an extra bowl of cereal before bedtime. I can’t remember taking snacks out with me, just a bottle of diluted squash and some paper cups. I think toddler/child food intake was very regulated by the parent rather than round the other way. I honestly can’t remember mine asking for snacks constantly. Just the odd “I’m hungry when’s dinner time?”
Growing up in the 50’s, 60’s even less of a chance of a snack between meals. I think the word snack in those days meant an uncooked meal at lunchtime to keep you going until evening meal! My mother wouldn’t have had anything in the house anyway to eat that wasn’t an ingredient for cooking the meals with as we weren’t very well off.

It's really hard. Like you we don't say never but we do have to be quite firm with controlling the junk as it can sneak in during holidays or when you have lots of treat days. Mine are allowed 2 snacks mid morning and mid afternoon. The mid morning one has to be fruit like at school. The afternoon one can be a treat. Fizzy is only for Saturday nights, birthday's, Christmas or on a holiday. Also eat some sweets / junk for movie night too. Mac Donald's is usually for half terms, once or twice over the summer or a long road trip. We slip up from this often e.g when we see the grandparents but it's good to have as a general rule to get back on track after things slip. This is probably too much junk but they do eat fairly well the rest of the time.

Thank you for all the replies and ideas.

Yes it's crap junk food, but the answer isn't to clear the house of all snacks. Most people I know like the odd bag or crisps or a biscuit with their brew. I don't want to live in a joyless house where you can't have the odd treat.

I just want her to be able to enjoy these things every so often and not be on my case day in day out asking for crap food when she is very well fed and has access to healthy things whenever she wants. We do have more filling bits like breadsticks and Philadelphia and hummus etc but that's not what she wants, in the same way she doesn't want an apple or a few berries. She wants the crap

Anyway I think I will try the daily snack box and see if she can take control of it herself and understand she doesn't need to be eating every time she finds herself at a loose end.

Same here!

When I had Dd it simply didn’t occur to me to get in snacks. She did BLW so she just ate what we ate at mealtimes and I thought no more about it — my mum never gave us snacks so it didn’t occur to me that I should. I was totally flummoxed to discover other mums at soft play, baby groups etc. brought big boxes of snacks and breadsticks and fruit bits, as it simply never occurred to me to do so (I am not by nature very domestic and don’t really snack myself so it was pure thoughtlessness rather than by design!)

Luckily DD never seemed to be hungry between mealtimes and never got into the snacking thing, even at nursery. She still doesn’t really like to eat between meals, especially in the afternoon. Now at 9, if there are any “treat” foods about she won’t say no, but she won’t be bothered if there aren’t any, either. She’s tiny just b/c of genetics - I’m v short! - but eats huge amounts at mealtimes and will happily put away an adult portion of food with seconds and eats pretty much anything.

So I feel like I got lucky with her as an eater! I have no idea whether she would have been like that anyway, or if my early total failure at providing snacks set the tone 😂

This constant snacking is SO bad for your teeth...!

I'd go cold turkey on the snacks and have none in. Once the habit is broken, you can have some back in the house.

Ds12 doesn't snack at all really. It's just never been a thing in our house that's offered so he never asks. He has 3 meals a day and plenty of drinks. He is autistic though so quite easy to tap in to rules and routines - he's never questioned having a daily shower either!

OP- in response to your latest post. I don’t mean to sound like I know it all, because I don’t, and until we made this change, I was completely with you, I enjoyed a bag or two of crisps, a biscuit or three with my coffee, chocolate after dinner etc.

But what I came to realise is, that it’s so, so easy to make junk food a habitual thing, and something that is ingrained in our everyday diets, and everything I read now about sugar particularly suggests that it shouldn’t be. I think having stuff in the house does cause bad habits, and honestly for us at least, not having it around and replacing with more nutrient dense, filling snacks has made a huge difference to our health.

I’m not perfect. I have the odd lapse, and like I say, I don’t comment on what my teenager buys, and I don’t say no to puddings when out, or if they ask for an ice cream on holiday or at a particularly warm day at the park. I’ll never restrict or comment on what they eat when out with friends. If we go to the cinema I’m happy for them to get some sweets or popcorn.

But, for me, and my family, the habitual snacking on crap every day, because it was there, had to stop. I’m not saying it’s the only approach, or the right one even, but it’s what worked for us.

Yes it's crap junk food, but the answer isn't to clear the house of all snacks. Most people I know like the odd bag or crisps or a biscuit with their brew. I don't want to live in a joyless house where you can't have the odd treat.

No of course not and despite not snacking as a child, it wasn't a joyless house.

'Sweets day' (later to become pocket money day as we grew older) was every Thursday when my dad got paid. He'd bring us all a penny mix bag which consisted of a few fizzy cola bottles/jelly babies/a lollipop and we really looked forward to it.

Maybe once a week on a Saturday, mum would by me and my siblings a 1ltr bottle of fizzy drink and we'd share it between 3 - again we really looked forward to it.

If anything it was more joyful because we never took it for granted and it really was a treat.

And we nearly always had biscuits in the house but they were pretty plain and boring, so fruit was the more exciting option 😁

Fuck it's finally happened.

I sound like my own mother 😨

Same!! My Mum used to buy one multi-pack (6 bags) of crisps and that had to last for the week for 3 of us. After that it was fruit or bread or nothing.

I don't understand the current snack obsession but then we never had snacks at the cinema, or at swimming or took snacks to the park or in the car so it seems baffling to me. Which probably makes me sound age 105.

You don't need a daily snack box.
You give them 3 meals a day then if they're hungry they can pick from the fruit bowl, surely?

@HundredMilesAnHour we brought a packet of Fruit Pastilles to the cinema - the small ones, not the big bags you get today 😁

Just reply "fruit or toast" every time. She'll soon get bored and stop.

Mine have worked out at 5&3 that's what happens, so they don't ask unless they're actually hungry.

Mine are younger 3 & 5 and I'm a snacks bitch all day everyday m

They eat 3 meals a day ... veg/ protein etc but still snack sooo much

Trying to keep it healthy but wow! I think my 3yo will turn into a snack soon 😅

All I hear alll day long is "mummy can I have a snack please "
"Oh i would love a snack right now! MUMMMYY!"

That's the thing though isn't it?

Kids used to say "I'm hungry". Now they're saying "Can I have a snack" and I think that's a completely different thing.

Possibly because some schools/nurseries call it 'snack time'?

As others have mentioned ‘Snack box’ over the summer holidays.
i put in brioche, raisins, pretzels, some cheese. a yoghurt and a chewy bar. They can access this any time of the day, sometimes gone before lunch time, sometimes barely touched. They have access to unlimited fruit, and their water bottles.
I’ve found they tend to regulate their own snacking when given the responsibility. They are 9 though. Twins.

I do one snack a day at 3pm because I truly feel that the wait between lunch and tea is too much for active children (and me! I feel faint if I don’t have something mid afternoon). It’s more like a mini meal - bit of cheese, chopped up fruit, spoon of peanut butter and carrot sticks or something like that, plus glass of milk. All food groups covered and we sit down and have it together usually.

I don’t like the culture of endless snacking on things out of shiny packets / junk food. Its a whole industry now. Just stick with proper food in smaller quantities than at mealtimes if you want to snack

I do get what you're saying, but essentially you have a kid who isn't (yet) able to self-regulate. So it's actually going to be better and much, much easier for you to take it back to ground zero. Fruit, toast, yogurt in the house, there are no snacks so no snacks can be asked for.

Not saying do it forever. But I think your summer will be easier if you do it for now.

we just simply didn't have snacks in the house. If we wanted anything between meals it was fruit or toast.

My Mum used to buy one multi-pack (6 bags) of crisps and that had to last for the week for 3 of us. After that it was fruit or bread or nothing.

Honestly I don't remember snacks when I was little except the tuck shop at school break mid morning and some biscuits when we got home from school.

I am absolutely loving all these posts from people virtuously explaining how when they were children they didn't have any snacks except all the snacks they had. The last one I've quoted is my absolute favourite.

@TrippinEdBalls

Good spot.

I am absolutely loving all these posts from people virtuously explaining how when they were children they didn't have any snacks except all the snacks they had. The last one I've quoted is my absolute favourite.

That's really quite nasty to sneer at that. I mean why? What's wrong with it? It's not 'virtuous' at all, just someone recalling how things were for them as a kid

The snacking culture today, often means kids don't really see things like crisps/biscuits/sweets as a treat because it's often part of their every day diet.

Eh, just say no? I appreciate you said your child's not fat but that's why there are so many fat kids nowadays - eating from sunrise to sunset. What happened to just getting three square meals a day? When mine were small and asked for something to eat between meals, I'd offer fruit or a cracker with cheese. If they refused, then they clearly weren't hungry and got nothing.

What is thing with snacks and snack boxes. When I was young it was 3 meals and what we would call a treat but I suppose a snack after school. That’s it.

Totally agree.

I agree with a previous poster who said the snacks you're offering might be improved - they're low calorie but quite high sugar, so they may exacerbate things. If you're not going cold turkey on snacks, I'd add one of wholemeal toast / nuts / crackers with marmite / peanut butter / hardboiled eggs.