To often feel devastated and terrified at the thought of my parents dying?

[Psm92]

I’m 30 and single and don’t have any children. I have a brother with whom I don’t really talk or communicate (long story) and the thought of losing my parents, my only family, is terrifying. I feel so rootless even thinking about it. They’re both 65 and in decent health but I know that can change any minute. I live around the corner from them so see them several times a week. I also have a health issue which means I often don’t get out very much and socialising is limited. I do have good friends but it just doesn’t compare to the unconditional love and support and care of my parents.

I know this fear is most likely due to circumstances. I think if I was in a happy, stable long-term relationship I perhaps wouldn’t feel it so keenly, but regardless, it’s really upsetting me.

Is this normal?

I think it's lovely you are so close to your parents, OP. Ignore posters using psychobabble on you who are jealous they don't have that kind of parental relationship themselves.

I know where you are coming from because I often feel the same, and the fear becomes more acute the older I get.

My mum is the only parent I've got and she just had a stroke at 67 while sick with mild covid, no underlying health issues. It was thankfully minor and she is ok for now - but I've been driving myself doolally with imagining scenarios, worrying it'll happen again soon, getting angry about the long life she deserves that she will likely be cheated out of by having a stroke in her sixties. I lie awake at night terrified that I'm going to lose her for good soon.

But I think of it this way; worrying about something before it happens won't make their eventual deaths hurt any less. I am going to enjoy however long I have with my mum, and I hope you can do the same with your parents.

I think the suggestions of other posters to develop other aspects and connections in your life are good. Cherish your parents, OP, and try and stay in the present moment and out of an unknown future if you can. You aren't alone and so many of us worry about this. You are stronger than you think.

I can relate to this. Sad to say the only people I really talk to are my partner and my parents and I always look to them for advice. I'm quite isolated via choice & circumstance otherwise. Without them and my partner, I would have...... no one.

My Mum died when I was in my 20’s so I do understand the fear of this loss (my Dad’s still going).
I agree with PP’s that it’s important to cherish the time you have with them and also work on developing other friendships and relationships.

You’re right that no one loves us unconditionally like a parent, but accepting this is part of being a mature adult, you just have to, unfortunately!

My role with my elderly Dad (85) is now reversed anyway as I provide emotional and physical support to him and he certainly doesn’t love me unconditionally…he can be v. critical, tbh. 😂. It’s got far worse with age, he wants me to look after him and makes a big fuss if I don’t do something the way he wants!