To want some relaxation time on holiday?

[annoyedandhot]

I am a teacher and work full time during term time. Obviously now off for summer holidays.

Due to the contract we have with nursery, we can send the children in for two days a week during holiday time, so I get two days a week ‘off’ as it were. I fully expect that during this time I’ll do grocery shopping, tidying, any odd jobs, but I’d like to decide when in the day I do them.

So this morning I’m trying to watch a TV series that I’ve wanted to watch for a while. Every two minutes I’ve had DH popping in.

’Have you sorted that council tax thing yet?’
‘Are you putting the washing out?’
’When you go to the shop, could you get some juice?’

Its making me feel really irritable. AIBU to just want a bit of peace and quiet here?

Have you told him you want to relax and watch this show?

Just say ‘Can you try not to disturb me for the next couple of hours? I’m watching this show this morning, will get round to the errands later on.’

I personally think it’s odd to send your children to nursery when you’re off work and could be spending time with them rather than watching tv.

If you didn’t have children though (so my point aside) I think this is really off behaviour from your DH and I’d have to say something.

I personally think it’s odd to send your children to nursery when you’re off work and could be spending time with them rather than watching

I do. For five days out of seven. I have kept them fed and entertained and hugged and exclaimed over the same toy hundreds of times a day. And I’m exhausted. I don’t know how SAHMS do it!

'Have you sorted the council tax thing ?' - No, have you ?
'Are you putting the washing out ?' - No, you can if it's bothering you.
’When you go to the shop, could you get some juice?' - I'm not going today, you pick some up if you want some.
Etc.
No, YANBU.

Can't he do all those things?

Get blue tooth speakers for the tv and ignore

Spoken by someone who is clearly not a teacher. We work 60 plus hours a week termtime. It's exhausting. You do you OP. Enjoy!

I personally think it's odd to make shitty comments to strangers on the Internet and hiding behind a namechange to do so.

Tell him to go away.

I personally think it’s odd to send your children to nursery when you’re off work and could be spending time with them rather than watching tv.

Why though?
Parents are people with needs too, it's not wrong to want a bit of relaxation time for yourself and as parents we should stop guilting each other for not wanting to spend every single waking hour at our little one's beck and call.
Op is spending lots of quality time with her dc and will be a better mum for a little bit of down time. The kids will be fine in nursery.

Op, could you try having one of the days designated "jobs" day then the other as "me time"
Then on your relaxation day you can tell your dh "no today's my relaxation day so stop asking!"

Does he usually treat you like his PA or just in the school holidays?

Is he getting 2 child free days a week too?

Sounds like he's a bit resentful.

“Look DH, Ill organise my time the way I want to. I know those jobs are there, but I also need some downtime”

Then maybe he do the bulk of childcare 5 days a week and can have 2 free days.

So you get 2 days off for 6 weeks just for yourself. Does your oh get 2 full days off too?

I suspect there's some resentment there and that's why he is annoying.

So I should either marry another teacher or I should only relax when DH is also on holiday?

If her DH is popping in to ask these questions he can't be working very hard so yes he is getting the benefit too!
I was a sahm and put my kids in for two days a week. I'd have gone insane otherwise. My husband did not ask for 'equal time'. But then I still did the majority of child caring on the weekends and joint holidays too.

If dh feels resentful of OP's me time or feels in need of a bit himself he can discuss that and arrange something. Why should OP pass up the chance to relax because her husband can't? How does that solve anything?

Such a ridiculous and judgey comment. Everyone is entitled to a break and time to themselves. I would lose my mind if every minute I was off work I was Expected to take care of the children.

Time to yourself to relax, decompress from work and get some life admin done is healthy (I'm saying this as someone who rarely gets a few hours to themselves right now! Lol.

YANBU OP. Tell your husband to give you a break!

That IS irritating. What's it to him? Why doesn't he do them?
It's your holiday, spend it how you need to to recuperate.
You're not even "off" anyway, you're just not contracted to work right now, but you are employed. Is he assuming that because you are not at work that now you must take on all these other jobs/ No. You both work full-time and those jobs are an equal responsibility.

Why is he at home anyway? Is he working from home? Tell him to get back to work. Is he off? Tell him to go then!

We don't go out to work that's how.

My husband has selective hearing so I've developed it too. I just don't hear and respond to things that don't interest me any more. Especially when shouted from upstairs/another room in the expectation that I'll drop whatever I'm doing and quickly run to hang upon his every word.

Might be a solution for your issues. Or you could do the eternal teenage 'Talk to the hand...' line 😁. Or maybe ask him to put it in an email if it's important?