AIBU…28 desperate for a baby

[Kiwiinparis]

i guess I’m just posting here for some perspective and come down to earth advice.

I am 28, DH is 29. We have been together 8 years and married for 5. Recently bought our own house. over the last two years, every single friend of mine has gotten pregnant and had a baby. It was never something I had thought much of in my mid 20s but after seeing the journey they are going through and the joy they have in their family….I am desperate for a baby.

My last “loves going out partying” friend gave birth last week. Honestly I’ve been through a roller coaster of emotions about it. I’m so excited for her but at the same time I’m so sad that I’m the only one without a kid. I feel like it changes the dynamic so much and I’ll be left out of so many meet ups/hang outs. I know that might sound like that’s the only reason I want a baby, but it’s not. I can’t wait to be a mum and raise a little human.

So, AIBU for feeling this way? How do I quench the baby hormone desires until my husband is ready TTC??

What does he say? When does he think he'll be ready?

Also so sorry for the jumbled message. My brain won’t stop ticking at the moment and I’m going through a lot of emotions. Hoping someone who has been in a similar situation can help!

He has said that we can try start of next year. I know it’s not that long away but factoring in getting pregnant, it feels like an eternity to me

Coming from someone who has children it’s a tough one! Personally I’d say wait, have loads of fun, enjoy your twenties. My daughter is 31 only one of her friends have kids. I’m glad she’s not rushing into babies.

When I was 28, everyone else I knew was getting married and having big weddings. I remember feeling the same way you do about children about my wedding.

I'm 42 now. Would you like to know how many of our friendship group are still married? DH and I and one other couple. Out of ten.

Don't rush to do something because all of your friends are. Having a child is the hardest thing (and most amazing thing) you will ever do. It is a seismic change to all areas of your life. And not one to be rushed.

You're not unreasonable to want a baby and your husband isn't unreasonable to want to try when he's ready, which is apparently quite soon anyway.

Just make sure you actually do want a baby and it's not merely FOMO, which your post definitely has an air of.

I'd wait until the start of next year if that's when your husband has said he'll be ready, but I would make it clear to him that you are very keen for that to be the case so he doesn't think he can get away with just pushing and pushing it back and you'll be fine. Explain to him how you're feeling. You can't force him and nor should you but he's your husband so you should be able to explain this to him and have him listen and understand.

Thank you for all the good advice. Waiting until next year is definitely what I want to do (financially and mentally), however hormones are getting in the way Urgh