So recently I've developed pretty severe intrusive thoughts about food, particularly things that can contaminate food. It started after finding one too many black specks on crisps (used to be a favorite snack) which led me to fall down the rabbit hole of googling it. Okay, bugs or droppings! Awesome. Further found out that it's legally allowed to have contaminants like rat hair & bugs & whatnot in food... like I knew that before, people had talked to me about it as a kid I think, but it's really bothering me now for some reason, imagining biting into a worm or something.
I have started to avoid many different foods, and feel like I have to pick through all my food before I can eat. I google "bugs found in" whatever I'm about to eat to see if the item seems to get contaminated often. I also irrationally worry that I have worms of some sort & have lots of intrusive thoughts imagining worms and other bugs crawling inside of me. The worst part is that I feel like these fucking fears aren't even unfounded.
I have a bad fear of bugs too, have since I was a kid. I had a bedbug infestation for a few months when I was 16 that fucked me up pretty good too, waking up with bugs crawling all over me and finding them everywhere, everywhere.. so awful. I just don't know why it's fucked me up so much now.
Even started freaking out about weevils and pantry pests. In coffee, rice, grains. Ugh I just can't get over all of the disgusting things that can be found in food.
It's kinda starting to go away from food too. I feel the need to wash my hands after touching like anything that might be dirty. Then I start thinking about how everything is covered in germs and parasites can be anywhere. Invisible parasites are everywhere and I feel like I can't escape them and I feel and see this getting worse and encompassing more and more. I am a psych student & recognize these as obsessive-compulsive symptoms which is worrying to me as I have a cocktail of mental illnesses already that could make me more susceptible to something like that.
I also lost a lot of weight recently and am worried about this getting worse as I fear that my Food Contamination fears will grow to be all foods and that I just won't be able to eat at all without horrible issues...
I realize this all sounds completely crazy by the way which is probably the point. I'm hoping that being mindful of my food/choosing healthy + organic items will be helpful in reducing these fears but we'll see. Thanks to anyone that read