Secret confessions thread

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Okay, so, we all have these thoughts; things we know we DEFINITELY are being unreasonable about and yet we can't help but think them.

This is that thread. A chance to say whatever you want judgement free. You know it's silly, you know it makes no sense but it's how you feel. Feel free to share! It might make me feel a little less crazy.

I'll go first...

My best friend gave birth to twins today and I am INSANELY jealous. Simply because I want twins. I know it's stupid, I know I likely won't even have twins but I want them so badly and now she has them. I feel like she's stolen the twin dust and there will be none left for me!

Like I said - just somewhere to post how you're feeling consequence free

@capedavenger, I used to wish the same for my DM, but she went on and on.

And there was a new man in her care home (with dementia) who was obviously so unhappy and angry (getting violent) that I thought he’d have to be placed elsewhere soon - he was becoming a danger to other residents.

When I went in one day and he wasn’t there, I assumed they’d had to move him.
No, he’d died of a heart attack.
And all I could think was, ‘Thank goodness.’ Many are not so lucky.

I can’t stand most of my family. My grandparents are all narcissists that pressure me into “giving them great-grandchildren”, and I have nothing in common with my siblings. If I never saw most of them again I’d be a lot happier for it. I think family is so overrated in general - just people you’re forced to see because you’re related - friends are the family you choose!

This is really bad. I know I'm being a dick. I know it's not about me. But...

My friend just had a baby a month early.

I organised and hosted her baby shower. Most of her baby's things were my baby's things. Most of the maternity clothes she's been wearing were my maternity clothes. When the baby was born so small, I went out and bought, washed and delivered some clothes for him as she didn't have anything small enough. I've also done some of her housework because she's still recovering.

When I was due to visit for the first time while they were still in hospital, I was cancelled at the last minute in favour of a family member (which I understand). I wasn't then rearranged but another friend got to visit instead of me. I ended waiting weeks until they came home to visit.

After everything I've done, and continue to do, it really hurts.

She talked him into a vasectomy on the grounds that their family was complete and then announced she was leaving him, she says she did it at that he couldn't go do the same thing to the next women

they are reversible.

Our NDN's built a bar outside in lockdown. It's right next to our front garden, and they sit out in it every night at the weekend getting drunk with their little village click of alcoholics..... he sounds like Dom Joly, and they're best mates with the annoying woman down the road who brays HAW HAW HAW like a fucking donkey.

It's been built next to their oil tank, and I often fantasise about launching a firework at it. Hopefully it'd take out the bar, the braying donkey, and the NDN's with their non stop barking dog all in one sweet hit.

@Bobshhh I hope you do have a child but don't worry about being left out. You can be left out at the school gates.
Also, the divide between mothers and non mothers is really concrete when dc small but women revert to choosing friends they respect and click with as their dc grow up.

Does anyone feel really paranoid now?!! want people to tell me they don't like me rather than be nice and inside what me to die. Now I'm wondering which family members may wish that on me 😜

I love my DP but I've planned and costed the full overhaul of our bedroom decor and furniture that I would implement if he wasn't here. It would be so, so beautiful.

Me too.

@twin33 Is there anyway you would consider leaving him? You'd be entitled to plenty after 26 years of being a SAHP. No one should have to live like this.

It was me who reported your rusting wreck of a car which you had stood in your garden and never moved for years, until the environmental health told you to move it dear neighbour.
Not the ' miserable old bastard ' as you called him a couple of doors down.
To be fair, he was a miserable old bastard I agree.
And M.i l, the reason why your tea always tasted funny is because I used to piss in your cup before making you a cuppa, not because they were Aldi teabags. Sixteen years you drank it before shuffling off your mortal coil.

I worked as a cook in a chalet for years. we had one booking for 6 weeks, a Hoorah Henry of 16, who had very rich parents & they paid presumably to get them out of their hair, he was obnoxious, rude, & generally the worst type of privileged, dick client. He also declared he was a vegetarian. I gave him the same soup as all the other guests, with chicken stock in it.

The day my H dies, will be the day I am finally Free & I will have to become a seriously good actress, to show I am dealing well with the bereavement, & keep the smile of relief from my face.

Once, when I was nice and snug in bed, I had an urge to read an old favourite book. I purchased it on my kindle because I didn’t want to get up and walk to the bookcase.

I brush my teeth in the shower. The shower is warm and cosy and I hate brushing my teeth in a cold bathroom!

This has reminded me of my sisters first husband. He was an absolute asshole. Homophobic and absolutely ripped the piss out of anyone with disabilities.

He had a brief affair after my sister left him and he has a son from that relationship that is gay and a (brilliant) drag queen.

From his now marriage, his second daughter is disabled with SEN.

Karma is a bitch but it's sad those lovely children have him for a father.

I’m in love with my best friend. We’re both married to other people it hasn’t always been this way but recently, it’s just become so obvious that I actually love him and I wish so much that I didn’t.

I have the same thoughts about our garden. I hate it., I love him but hate the garden.
The pond is going, decking getting ripped up, trees and shrubbery planted where the decking is.
It’ll never happen.

My worst is that I wish my dad would die.

He’s in a care home with dementia after a rapid deterioration last year. Every time they call with some stupid question, I hope they are going to tell me he’s dead.

He would want to be dead if he could see himself now. It’s also ruined my life as an only child with him my only living parent, the shit I have to sort out is over whelming.

Also, it’s the money.

People on here don’t like to hear it but I begrudge him having to pay for care. He’s held money over me my whole life. We did nothing when I was a child. Ate shit. Went no where. I sat on my own every weekend, school holiday while he worked. If I had a rare friend growing up, they weren’t allowed over as he wouldn’t let them eat our food or have a drink, or use the water or electricity he was so tight-fisted. I had one change of clothes and was bullied to hell at school because of how dirty and scruffy I was. It was all for me “for after he was gone”.

He held that money over me over me my whole life. Made me make him his whole world, even got me sacked from jobs in his later years demanding I was there I look after him. Never gave me any encouragement or ambition. Never encouraged me to work, study or go to higher education because I should look after him.

My first husband divorced me because of him. But always the “you’ll have my money when I gone”.

My family struggle.

Every week, it’s another £1,300 of that money that was held over me gone on his “care”.

In less than Two years, every penny will be gone. That money would have changed my children’s lives.

But it’s all gone so he can rot away in a chair taking absolute bollocks. He’s just existing and waiting to die. He’s not living a life. And all he does is tell me what an awful person I am.

And if I ever dare to admit that in real life, I am the evil one.

🥲💛

I am such a natural Grotbags, if left to my own devices I would rarely shower or clean the house. I only really do it because I love DH dearly and wouldn’t want him to know how secretly smelly and how completely lazy I could be. I think there’s a lot of things I wouldn’t bother with if I didn’t have DH and DC to care for, meals, cleaning, leaving the house etc!

said you lol !!

That’s so sad @Pavlovascat

My dad died suddenly when I was a teen. Obviously it was a shock when he died, but I remember being relieved that I could now be ‘free’ of his constraints on my life - he was hard work in many ways. I do feel guilty as my life probably turned out better than it would’ve if he hadn’t died, I don’t miss him now at all (but miss my mum who passed years later).

There is someone I want revenge on, but I'm annoyed at my own poverty of imagination and I probably would pay revenge services to bring her a peg down or two in eyes of people to see for who she really is. But I believe she's the kind who would harass police about being the victim of "relentless stalking" (and exaggerated claims) and would manufacture enough outrage to make police start investigating and then all of it would be traced to me.

(someone may consider this harmless fantasy, but my best friend has been target of malicious stalking and online harassment for years from sad incel)

It's because they are grieving for the lost opportunity for things to be made better, as well as for the actual death. The last shred of hope and dreams - that the arsehole would just stop and love them unconditionally - is harder to deal with.

Thank you. I am going to adopt this instead of counting sheep 😂😂

I used to get annoyed that the large shrub in my front garden by the front wall would get little bags of dogshit hung in it by lazy twats. I could never figure out who it was until I started working from home during lockdown. I set up my office in the spare bedroom at the front of the house where I saw the culprit hang her dogs shit in my tree. I was going to run down the stairs and give her a bollocking but I held back as I wanted to know where she lived. Instead I followed her the next day (after she had hung a bag of shit in the tree) and discovered she lived a few streets over. Not sure why specifically choose my tree, there were plenty of others to hang turds from but it clearly has become a habit for her. For the next few weeks I let her leave her fecal gifts for me before one night I quietly walked around to her home posted about 15 of her gift wrapped shits through her letterbox before running home and washing my hands till the skin nearly came off.