To think youth work is...

[gemcoke]

Really mentally exhausting? I just started a job doing youth work 3 months ago. Today me and four other members of staff took 45 kids on a trip.

For the 1.5 journey to where we were going I had one member of staff sat beside me just talking AT me the full way. I'm an introvert and I found this really difficult and already felt exhausted.

When we were at the destination it was hard work trying to keep all the kids together, I also had this colleague following me about talking at me and at the same time trying to speak to the kids and make sure they were all okay/having fun.

On the bus on way back down, once again colleague spoke at me and the kids were screaming and talking so loud. My head was banging by the end and I just had to sit in my car for 10 minutes in silence to gather myself.

I'm now home and honestly have never felt so mentally drained in my full life, to the point I'm not sure I could do it again. It sounds easy enough, take some kids on a trip but I honestly feel awful and it was such a long day.

AIBU to think youth work isn't easy at all and this job might not be for me?

You actually got a job in youth work because you thought it was easy?

Unfortunately it also tends to be badly paid. If you're finding it that stressful and miserable OP then it's probably not for you.

YANBU, it is a bloody difficult job. However, YABU to have gone into it expecting it to be easy, and YABU for blaming it all on the job when from your post I'd say the colleague was your biggest gripe not the actual job at all!

What is youth work OP?

Everyone's got their own definition (or did when I was one a few years ago). It doesn't sound like it's for you.

Are you a qualified youth worker? If so, you must have done work experience/placements and know what large groups of kids are like? But yes, kids are exhausting en masse. You might be better suited to residential care work for young people or roles where you support young people 1-1 or in small groups.

I don't think that it might be for you. Kids/teens are noisy and high energy.

I'm doing youth work for some experience before I start my social work course at university in September.

Social work will be very different. Stressful but in different ways! You could look at working for a youth offending team too, lots look for qualified social workers and I have friends who say its less stressful than social work.

At least nobody threw up on the bus.

I know, and the pay for what you have to do and the skills and expertise, patience, and nous you need is just an insult. I could never do this work. My husband does but he won't carry on because he wants to be wealthy. He is amazing at this job too. Shame.

Youth work can be demanding but also incredibly rewarding. I think it was your colleague that drained you and didn't give you the head space you needed after supporting the group all day.

I would suggest a debrief with colleagues after the trip and suggest that you think next time you'll need some chill time on the journey to decompress and would it be ok to sit on your own and put earplugs in and read but be there if anyone needs you?

Also - day trips for those large numbers are rare. Most day to day modern youth work is generally smaller groups for short periods of time, 2 hours or so, or even 121 work for 30 mins or an hour.

What was it that appealed to you about working with children and young people? What brought you to this job/role?

I did youth work before social work. Youth work is so much less mentally and emotionally exhausting than social work. You will get talked at and shouted at on a regular basis being a SW. Trips are the easiest part of the job in youth work.

Not trying to put you off OP, just being realistic. Your phone won't stop ringing with young people, foster carers, support workers and schools - that's without ALL the paperwork and without the emotionally exhausting situations that fall in your lap to put right at 4pm on a Friday.

I am 100 percent aware how demanding and stressful social work will be and I really hope I can manage it. To be honest I was off to a bad start with the colleague, she literally just spoke about her full life the entire time and I felt like I needed to have one ear on her and another on the kids, it was really difficult. Also I just found it so...boring...I didn't find it enjoyable at all, just really dull and boring. Social work will be much different than walking kids around a park with someone telling me what they like for lunch...I hope 🤣

Trust me, it's not something I am going into blind.

Don't go into teaching then. Trips are the highlight! Imagine all that noise, worry, chaos and responsibility - while you're trying to get them through their GCSEs!

Youth work is one of the hardest jobs to do if.... you don't like noise...don't like breaking up arguments... don't like numerous voices trying to get your attention.
You have to be a certain type of personality to really enjoy all of it.

I think if you are quite introverted do think carefully about whether a heavily people focussed career path is going to absolutely drain you after a while

I think you would have found it much easier with a different colleague!

I remember years ago I used to travel a lot with work. Another colleague commented that me and Fred would always always sit together but never spoke to each other. He found that very confusing. He didn’t realise that that was the whole point! I would study (I was doing exams at the time) and he would read his photography magazines and our conversations were limited to “can I nip past you to go to the loo”.

It was great!

Tbh I do spend an inordinate amount of time listening to teenage drivel about sandwiches OP 😂. One to one conversations about sandwiches are much harder than group conversations about them, well they are for me.

Maybe try some mentoring for a bit OP and just see whether one to one work is for you before taking on your degree. You're going to be dealing with people like your colleague droning on and on all day every day.

So have you been working with these kids, or some of them, for 3 mths already? Wasn't it interesting to see them in a different context?

Any job is tiring when you're new to it, perhaps this one more than most. I've done chaperoning for dance shows and helping in school which is not the same, but I can relate to finding it utterly draining being "on" all the time.

I am astonished anyone volunteers to be brownie/scout leaders and run weekend camps, for exactly this reason.

Try and unpick how much was the work and how much was your colleague. Think of how you can manage the journey next time. Maybe interrupt their flow and ask if they can keep an ear out on the kids while you zone out with headphones for half an hour, and you'll return the favour? (You don't even have to turn your music on - just having earphones in stops people talking to you.)

True

All of your post is about the colleague not the kids!! Sounds like they are the problem...

I am a social care worker and work with teenagers who live in residential care. I love it. I would NEVER EVER bring a group of kids anywhere, the dynamic is completely different, they're excited and unruly and it's non-stop. And a colleague talking at you all day is beyond tedious. Don't let it put you off, you just have to find the right fit and hopefully social work is it for you.

I am a social worker and a big extrovert who loves spending time with people, and sometimes even I get sooooo tired of being around people from work that I want to hide in my house and struggle to socialise as I am peopled out! What aspects of the job do you think you will enjoy?

Sounds like your colleague caused most of your stress. Next time spread out from them on the bus and chat to the kids, start a game, song etc. That usually distracts/calms them on the journey and means you’re not trapped by your colleague. It’s also perfectly acceptable to to excuse yourself from the conversation to deal with behaviour or overexcited children.

Keeping an eye on large groups of kids on trips stresses me out too, especially when it seems like you’re the only member of staff worried about keeping track of everyone! Could you suggest splitting the group up next time so you’re only responsible for 10-12 kids? This is also good if it’s a new group of children you’re taking on a trip and you don’t recognise them all, you have fewer faces and names to learn.