To feel upset

[Marmite17]

Friend has always offered a bed if I want a drink when meeting up. Known her for over 40 years. Rarely take her up on offer, last stayed there in December. Regular meetings on Friday evenings and she wants me to be there to dilute other friend, if she's the only one there, who she criticises behind her back. Sometimes other people there. She knows my opinions re alcohol. I can be a binge drinker, know that I need to watch it and have days off. Problem when on holiday together, twice, as she can be difficult to get on when drunk, hates not having a drinking partner and needs looking after. She averaged 2 bottles of wine a day, starting at lunch time. And is never sober in the evening at home. Said that I cannot afford to go again. Partially true. She is far better off than me.
I would like the option of drinking on Friday nights occasionally. Cannot afford taxis and often ferry her drinking guests around now. She is looking at offering rooms on Air B and B and no longer let's local people stay. Feel very down moted and like a free taxi tbh. Don't know her main drinking, criticised, partner well but thinking a plan re taxis could be a good idea. I've saved her a fortune. I'm usually the only sober driver and feeling like a taxi service. Also wonder what friend says about me behind my back.

I don't think the air B n B will go well if she is drinking with a load of 'drinking companions' in the accommodation. That will not go down well with people who book the room and they will leave reviews that will make it difficult for her to get more bookings. The room will soon be vacant every week again for her drinking companions to use.

Also you do not like her. She doesn't sound great. Leave her to it. Do something else on a Friday night. Almost anything else would be a better use of your time.

I agree this is hard to be and also wondered if maybe you'd had a drink or two before posting (perhaps for some "Dutch courage")?

From subsequent comments, I think your issue is now that your friend's drinking buddies can no longer stay over, you assume you will have to drive them home because you aren't drinking. But you don't want to do that (presumably because you don't like them from the way you talk).

I would either:

1. Stop going then you don't have an issue
2. Make it clear that you aren't giving anyone a lift
3. Say you're happy to give a lift if they give you x amount for fuel due to increasing costs (might as well make some money out of it)
4. Arrange to share an actual taxi between all of you and split the cost
5. See if they can still sleep on the sofa on a night out - that might still be an option!
6. Arrange to go out rather than stay at your friends house

If that doesn't answer your AIBU, please can you clarify what you're asking?

I was not trying to be obtuse, I genuinely didn’t get it, but understand now from others have deduced. I think my point stands though, a friendship based around binge drinking is not healthy. I think you need to distance yourself, reassess your relationship with both your friends and alcohol. You may find healthier relationships when sober.

Your OP is a bit confusing.

Are you essentially saying this?: You friend has a group of people, including yourself, over to her house every Friday and gives the option to stay over. You don’t like to drink as you find it hard not to binge so you usually drive and don’t stay over and often end up giving other people lifts home. Your friend has now said she is using Air BNB and so is no longer offering the option to stay, however this coincides with you deciding you’re fed up with driving and want to start staying over? You’re asking AIBU to be upset?

If I’ve got that right then to be honest yes, I think YABU. You’ve always had the option to stay over and but hardly ever taken her up on the offer, choosing to drive, so she can hardly be blamed for not thinking it was a problem to rent out her house. That said YANBU not to want to drive people around like a taxi service and it’s completely reasonable to say no to giving others lifts or to choose not to go if you don’t want to, or to go but not to drive and to get a taxi home.

Why is this difficult to understand? You've summed it up.

Don't go every time.
Don't go at all.
When you do then get a taxi or bus so you can't offer lifts .
Say no to any lifts.
Drink so you can't offer lifts.

Pick one or a combination.

Were you drunk when you typed this? 🤔
I'm not really sure how old you all are, but if you guys want to meet for getting pissed up on a Friday, then it's your individual responsibility to get home.
Don't be a taxi driver, if you don't want to be; don't go on holiday with her if you don't want to. Et cetera.
Are you friends or drinking buddies? If, after 40 years, everything still revolves around drinking, I think you have your answer.

Seems like your social circle is obsessed with alcohol and it's not actually making anyone happy.

There is a solution.

Have you been drinking now, op?

I think, on some level, she must realise that she has a drinking problem. So not allowing her home to be a doss house is promising.
She never has hang overs but must always have alcohol in her system.

I also find it a bit hard to follow but what I can understand is that it would be a good idea if you all drank less

Have you been drinking now when you wrote this?

I've had it with posters who can't communicate clearly. This is the second thread I've seen tonight that I can't make head nor tail of.

This thread is entertaining for being incomprehensible.

It’s more entertaining seeing the usual suspects going on well I understand when clearly they don’t.

op you don’t stay there. She can do airbnb if she wants, you don’t need to offer lifts, you don’t need to get off your tits, you are all grown ups, you can make decisions.

To be fair OP, your posts make is seem like you realiiy don't like her that much anyway.

The people who stayed at her house on a Friday night are no longer allowed to. Hence needing lifts home.

Well that’s not your problem. If you want to drink, just say ‘I’m not driving tonight’ and take a cab home - and everyone else can do the same.

Saying ‘You’d like the option’ to stay over is a bit shit, to be honest. It’s not up to your friend to sort out your accommodation. If you’ve been friends with her for over 40 years, you are by definition more than old enough to sort yourself out.

BTW - I had a friend who thought my spare room was essentially there for his convenience. He was very put out on one occasion when he wanted to come down and I said he’d have to make do with the sofa because another friend was staying (who would have been homeless otherwise). He’s now an ex-friend. Don’t be that ‘friend’.

Do you socialize together when you aren't drinking?

Well I still don't understand, genuinely, even with some posters' explanations.
However you don't seem to like this 'friend' at all & are pretty scathing about her alcoholism - which doesn't seem relevant to your point anyway.

I don’t understand - you don’t want to drive? You want to stay?