To ask about your bedtime routines

[juicylucy44]

Don't really have a bedtime routine with 3 month old dd yet. She usually just stays up with us until we go to bed, often dozing in her Moses basket or on one of us. Then she'll have a feed and nappy change before we go to bed around 11. Then shes transferred to her next to me crib and she stays asleep all night. Because she sleeps so well overnight I've been reluctant to change things but I think now she ought to be going in the crib earlier - around 7 or 8. I'm planning to bath her, feed her and read a story then put her down around this time and possibly still wake her for the last feed around 11 before we go to sleep.

Does this sound ok? Can I ask what your routines are with young babies and if they work?

From about 4 months old I did bath, PJs, bottle and into bed for 7. Then a dreamfeed at 10/11ish (when I was going to bed). Wake up at 7. Dropped the dream feed at 6.5 months after we’d introduced dinner! No bedtime story until they’re toddlers because mine find them quite stimulating (I did read to them younger, just not when it was time to sleep).

Thank you for replying :-)
Can I ask what you did before the 4 month mark and when you implemented the proper routine did your baby take to it quite easily? I just worry about rocking the boat!

Where is the crib? Are you planning to go to bed at the same time as her? I must admit I would go for the easy life and keep her downstairs for now during the evening. Very impressed by you staying up u til 11 though!

The crib is next to our bed so she would be upstairs and us downstairs. Sometimes she is disturbed by the sound and light of the TV when she's with us and I just feel she might be more settled in her crib.
I'm only able to stay up til 11 because she sleeps through, I know this is really good at 3 months which is why I'm a little reluctant to change it!

General advice has been for babies to stay in the same room as their parents day and night until they are 6 months old.This a to reduce the risk , admittedly very small, of cot death. The feeling is that they should be aware of your breathing patterns ie not go to sleep too deeply.

So would you say it's better for us to stay up with us then? Obviously we would be checking on her regularly for the period of time between putting her to bed and going up ourselves.

I wouldn't change it. You've probably got the 4 month sleep regression round the corner. Guidance is babies should sleep in same room as parents to help prevent SIDS, basically to stop them going into a very deep sleep. We moved DD into her own room at 4 months, but had considered the risks.

At three months old I’d stick with what you are doing if it’s working well. At about 9 months I’d be doing quiet time, bath, teeth, story and bed but not at three months, babies should always be with adult until 6months anyway so I’d just stick with your routine until then.

We followed the 6 month advice so ours slept in a moses basket in the corner of the sitting room (away from light of TV) until we went to bed. We just transferred him to his snuz pod by the bed and he slept through from 6 weeks.

Can't remember exactly when this changed but I think around 7 months when we moved him into his own room at night so he started going to bed around 7/7.30.

Didn’t even attempt a routine till a year old, his sleep changed so much so regularly up to then there didn’t seem much point. I’d go with the flow for a while yet, you’re at the point which is often the best sleep of the whole first year.

They need to sleep with you until 6 months minimum, we kept DD downstairs with until she was almost a year old, or sometimes I went to bed early with her.

The safer sleep guidelines are pretty clear, checking up on them is no substitute. Small babies stop breathing sometimes and it is thought that being next to an adult regulates their breathing (although this is not proven). There’s absolutely no way I’d risk it. My neighbours baby died of SIDS when I was younger, I can still hear the screams. She jumped off a motorway bridge some time later. Absolutely horrendous.

Thank you all, I will take the advice and keep her with us for now. When she eventually goes in her own bedroom we can start a more meaningful bedtime routine.

There is no way I'd have a 3mth old tiny baby sleeping upstairs alone with the risk of SIDS.
Our 18mth old still gets transferred upstairs at bedtime though so I'm probably the other end of the spectrum! Lol.

I think they let you know when they are ready for a 7 pm bedtime. Could be around 3 or 4 or 5 months. Until then I'd go with the flow if it's working so well!
I just went for a quick bedtime routine from about 6 months involving last feed, new nappy, sleeping bag, story and bed. It's good to have some sleep habits but it doesn't need to be long just consistent. I don't bath mine every day and often do it in the morning. I also wouldn't bother with a dream feed unless you need it.

At around 3.5/4 months, DS had a bath, went into his sleep bag, had a bottle or feed, read a story, sang a song, and went to bed in his cot.
e wouldn't sleep in a room with anything going on (TV, talking, etc), so for that reason, he went in the cot for naps and night sleep.

Do what works for your family!

Have to stress she'd only be sleeping alone for 2/3 hours before we went to bed. She tends to nap in the crib too.

But yeah the routine we've got currently (or lack of) seems to work. She says with a baby sleeping on her while she's trying to eat dinner!!

@SnackSizeRaisin my toddler has never been ready for a 7pm bedtime 😂 I’ve tried! He’s a natural night owl and doesn’t need 12 hours overnight either. Night sleep here is typically 9pm-7am. Any attempt to get him down earlier is futile. It might change when he stops napping in the day though.

@juicylucy44 a couple of hours alone is too long. The presence of an adult breathing in the same room helping to regulate their breathing is what’s protective against SIDS. This can’t be replicated with a monitor

@BuffaloCauliflower so in that case is it not safe to leave them alone even for a nap? Obviously I'm aware of SIDS and the importance of having baby in with us overnight until at least 6 months but I do leave her to nap alone occasionally.

@juicylucy44 the guidance is that all sleep, day and night, should be in the same room as an adult. So yes, all naps as well as night sleep. Most cases of SIDS happen when baby is alone in a room. Though of course it’s worth mentioning cases of true SIDS are low in general

Did they not tell you this at your antenatal classes? We knew it already but it was reiterated by everyone we met, midwives, HV etc.
No sleep of any sort should be alone before at least 6 months due to SIDS.