I have been friends with someone since we were children, we grew up on the same street, went to the same nursery and schools as one another, we have been best friends for around 30 years.
Over the last few years she has really worked hard, now is in a senior position and on a really good wage. She is a single parent, has 2 children and 2 dogs and they are spoilt rotten.
I am pregnant with my fourth baby, after a miscarriage last year, and I have 2 living children.
The issue, I’m not even sure I can call it that? Is that my friend keeps spoiling us rotten too! For example, a big box came this week with loads of gifts for the children (arts and crafts, reading books, etc), she booked me in for a pregnancy pampering session and she got me one of the big things off my baby list (a pram, talking way into £££ money wise).
I’m in the opposite situation money wise, DH doesn’t earn great money but apparently it’s enough to not get any UC on top (!) and the only benefit we receive is child benefit. We also privately rent so we are spending easily over £1000 just to house us all.
Friend knows of our money situation and has helped us out in the past (paid off a bill for us, gave us vouchers to buy the children some school bits), and she says that she wants to help out as much as possible with the new baby coming which is why she is buying all this stuff.
I am beyond grateful, but I also have the sense of ‘well now I need to do something for her and her kids, but then stuff etc’. She has said to be very strictly before that she doesn’t want me to spend any money on them, not to send anything because she would rather me use my money for my own situation, but I’m just that way inclined (I feel really awkward taking things from people).
AIBU to feel this way?
Should I accept her help as she is willing to give it and just say thank you and realise that she genuinely just wants to help or should I put a stop to this?
Thank you for getting all the way to the end!