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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Looking after pet

7 replies

Doggate1 · 27/07/2022 07:28

New here so apologies if not using correct acronyms etc.
long story short … mother is a narcissist and haven’t spoken to her for over a year( was intermittent prior to this), fractious relationship as controlling, manipulative, liar, influencing kids, bullying, drunk etc.
Still see father rarely due to him not being allowed and then punished if he contacts us.
Brother lives abroad and knows about behaviours but chooses to ignore and isn’t exposed. Thinks we should just all be friends and ignore it (it isn’t minor behaviour ).
Brother is visiting from abroad with new baby, hasn’t been to see us and is ignoring us at my mother’s insistence on upsetting her.
Y’day my father contacted me asking us to look after their dog because they want to go away on holiday with my brother, his wife and the new baby. No one else will have the dog as mother has upset those previously with complaints of neglect about her dog:
NOW one of the many lies and accusations has been that we beat the dog, starve it, don’t walk it etc etc - none of this is true (we have 2 beautiful dogs ourselves) - it is just one of the many controversial and attention seeking stories my mother makes up. One which was the final straw in us not speaking to her. Because we know she is anxious about the dog we had always gone out of our way to give it more attention, walks, care etc.
SO … am I unreasonable to say no to looking after the dog for 2 weeks so they can go away with my brother and if so, should I tell my Dad why we won’t look after it?

OP posts:
LadyCatStark · 27/07/2022 08:16

YADNBU you need to protect yourself again accusations. You’re already NC, so it’s not like it’ll make your relationship worse!

WinterMusings · 27/07/2022 08:25

I'd worry about the dog, what will he do if you don't look after it?

if you think he'll book a decent kennel then I'd say no, but if he's likely to leave it home alone with a neighbour feeding it once a day or something I'd look after it. For the DOG's sake, not your awful awful parents.

Kanaloa · 27/07/2022 08:28

Of course you shouldn’t look after the dog. Your family sound awful. Your mother is abusive and cruel, and your father (although you excuse him) has chosen her over you so is either spineless/selfish or equally cruel. I wouldn’t be bothering doing them a favour, I don’t think I’d even reply.

whowhatwerewhy · 27/07/2022 08:46

It would be a no .

Isaidnoalready · 27/07/2022 08:48

No, state why would you ask me when you tell everyone I abuse this dog? Point blank refuse seriously

Kanaloa · 27/07/2022 08:52

Isaidnoalready · 27/07/2022 08:48

No, state why would you ask me when you tell everyone I abuse this dog? Point blank refuse seriously

Yes this is a point. If you wanted to reply I would be questioning why they’re seeking pet care from someone who they’ve accused of animal abuse.

bloodywhitecat · 27/07/2022 08:54

Don't allow her to use you like this, say no.

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