Advice re new boyfriend and birthday

[Monday1976]

I recently started seeing a lovely man. He is kind, smart and seems keen and keeps talking about long tern. We had been going out for around 3 months and it was my birthday. I was embarrassed to tell him as we hadn't been together that long and I didn't want him to feel obliged to make a fuss. I didn't say anything, but by chance around 10 days later he asked when my birthday was. I told him it had just passed and that I had not wanted to say anything given our newness. He said he understood why I felt like that and we then started talking about something else. This was over a week ago. Am I being silly to wonder why he didn't suggest something retrospectively or get me flowers? I do understand I created the situation by not telling him, so probably am! Also he told me a few days ago he is going to a wedding next week but never suggested I was his plus one. If I had a wedding coming up, I would be excited to dress up and take him and show hin off. AIBU to wonder why he hasn't invited me to go with him?

Your not close enough to tell him it’s your birthday but expect him to invite you along to a wedding with all his friends and family.
YABVU you don’t tell him it’s your birthday until 2 weeks later and then expect him to buy you something? Why would he make a big deal out of it when you deliberately hid it from him

Aww you are right. Sorry think I have pmt tonight 🤣🤣 good to have some perspective. Thank you xx

Maybe he doesn’t have a ‘plus one’ invitation?

You've got to start deciding what you want. If you wanted to celebrate your birthday with him, then you should have told him. Given that you aren't sharing birthdays etc then it it's fine for him to not want you as his plus one, yet.

Yes, pancakeswithcheese (good name btw), also sounds like a reasonable, sane suggestion 😆😆. I am loving all this perspective gaining. Good for the pms ing soul. Thank you xxx

And Panoka7, I totally agree. I do need to be a bit more open and less reserved about things. Thank you ❤️ xxxx

Sorry OP, but YABU.

You can’t say you didn’t want him to feel obliged and make a fuss but then wonder why he hasn’t bought you anything?

He isn’t obliged to bring you to the wedding as a plus one.

3 months is very early. This is the time to get to know each other. Not attend weddings together and celebrate birthdays. Just take it slow and stop overthinking.

Aww thank you Flissypaps (another good name 🤣). You are totally right. I am not normally like this 🙃 🙈😆. He is such a lovely, kind, wonderful man I do appreciate your perspective and I agree 100 percent. Over thinking is such a waste of time, especially during all the fun tines at the start of something new. I really appreciate your words. Thank you xxxxx

This is the nicest AIBU thread ever

Aww he he girlmom21 I love it. I know I am being unreasonable and love these reminders to 'keep it real'. I really do appreciate everyone's comments 😘 thank you x

Sorry if my post sounded harsh! I re-read and just thought shit that sounds awful!

Overthinking definitely is such a waste of time, but we all do it and sometimes can’t help it.

You also sound like a lovely kind and caring person - so I’ve no doubt this relationship will blossom beautifully and in a few months time you’ll be attending events together xxx

Aww thank you Flissypaps. You didn't sound awful at all. I actually really liked it. I really am being unreasonable 🙈🤣 and it is so good to have level, sound perspectives. And your kind words about how things could pan out are fab. Thank you very much. I appreciate everything you have said ❤ xox