To not buy SIL a bday present

[biffyclyhorse]

Usually buy a small birthday and Christmas present for her but she never gets for us and didn't get our daughter anything for Christmas or her first birthday. Not a thing. She has no income but is an adult, asks parents for money for presents for her best friends so she can get the money for gifts if she wants it, she just doesn't think that a gift for her niece is a priority obviously. This year I have refused to buy a gift or card, DH thinks I am being harsh, I think she's selfish and we shouldn't be spending our already stretched income on a gift for someone who is so selfish.

Don't buy her anything. How old is she?

Not your problem anyway it's your DH's.
Let him deal with it.
Is there a reason she has no income as an adult?

It's up to him if he wants to get his Sister a gift, but she isn't showing that she wants to do presents, so follow her lead.

I wouldn't want my sister borrowing money to buy me or my family presents because I know it would be probably be borrowed off my Mum who can't afford it and gets guilted enough into handing cash over to buy gifts for other people. My mum is low income and stressed enough without expecting her to give my sibling more to buy dd stuff.

If your dh wants to still get her a gift that's up to him although I can see why it's annoying. I still got my sister stuff but token gestures and she wasn't selfish and had an amazing relationship with dd, she'd offer to babysit so we could go out for our bdays, or to take dd to the park and free things to celebrate her bday with her.

So what's the backstory?

Why does she have no access to money?

YANBU, don’t enable her shitty behaviour by buying for her.

Why is H sticking his oar in? Does he expect you to sort it?

Because she has no job presumably.

She has no job and no desire to get one, has never been made to work for anything in life. We both work and there is no way my parents would have allowed me to just do nothing. Odd.

She sounds selfish and maybe assumes her parents sorts gifts out, it us up to your husband if he wants to buy his sister a gift though I don't think you should make this into a thing,

No way. Maybe a card? But no way would I get a gift

Entirely up to your dh if he wants to buy his dsis something, unless the cost is a significant an issue then it is a joint decision.

How old is she?

No, I wouldn’t be buying for an adult who didn’t buy for us.

My brother and I, when we were younger, would say to each other 'I got you the same as you got me, but in blue!', we were never anal about birthday presents etc..

No point causing family drama over a £15 gift.

You don’t have to get her anything. If your DH wants to give his sister a gift that’s up to him.

Don't get her a gift then.

Leave it up to your DH. If he wants to then it is on him to go shopping for cards and whatever gift he wants for his sis. She sounds very spoilt - I presume she is a grown ass adult !!