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Original poster

Can’t drive vs don’t drive

94 replies

Peashoots · 26/07/2022 20:48

Why do people say they “don’t drive”, when they can’t drive? I can’t play the cello or ballet dance, I would say “I can’t play the cello” not “I don’t play the cello” or “I can’t ballet dance” not “I don’t ballet dance”. I think every person I know IRL who can’t drive says “I don’t drive”. Im not talking about people who have a licence but choose not to drive, btw. Anyone else notice this? Doesn’t particularly bother me, just an observation!

OP posts:
HorribleHerstory · 26/07/2022 21:25

I didn’t drive when I was young because I didn’t have enough money for lessons, anyone to teach me, any money for a car or insurance.

Then I couldn’t drive for a decade because of seizures.

Then I didn’t drive, when I technically had enough money to have lessons if I’d really prioritised it but with very young children carving out enough time and childcare to do it it was always on a back burner.

Then I didn’t drive but was having lessons.

Now I can drive.

Antarcticant · 26/07/2022 21:28

'I don't play a musical instrument' is quite common usage.

Aprilx · 26/07/2022 21:29

I would say “I don’t play the cello”, I expect I could if I had some lessons. So unless somebody is medically barred from driving, “I don’t drive” seems a reasonable thing to say.

Bikinibottom42 · 26/07/2022 21:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

NoodleSnow · 26/07/2022 21:41

Catabogus · 26/07/2022 21:04

I choose not to drive (environmental reasons). Saying “I can’t drive” sounds to me as though I would if I could. I wouldn’t, so I say “I don’t drive” instead.

This. I chose a lifestyle that doesn’t involve driving. It’s an active and conscious choice. I don’t drive. I don’t want to drive. If I was somehow given one of those intensive courses and passed my test within a week, I still wouldn’t want to drive. The lack of a license is less of an obstacle to me driving than the fact that I just don’t really like cars.

thewaitislong · 26/07/2022 21:41

"I don't drive" sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Maybe they just never chose to learn because they don't want to drive? So they can't because they don't want to - makes perfect sense to me.

I "didn't drive" for a long time because I didn't need to or want to, lived centrally, no need to add another polluting car on the road.

I learnt when I needed when I had a child. Now I can drive and do drive.

But I don't look down on people who "don't" or "can't" drive - their choice.

Abracadabra12345 · 26/07/2022 21:44

thewaitislong · 26/07/2022 21:41

"I don't drive" sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Maybe they just never chose to learn because they don't want to drive? So they can't because they don't want to - makes perfect sense to me.

I "didn't drive" for a long time because I didn't need to or want to, lived centrally, no need to add another polluting car on the road.

I learnt when I needed when I had a child. Now I can drive and do drive.

But I don't look down on people who "don't" or "can't" drive - their choice.

Thank you

Original poster
Peashoots · 26/07/2022 21:54

Aprilx · 26/07/2022 21:29

I would say “I don’t play the cello”, I expect I could if I had some lessons. So unless somebody is medically barred from driving, “I don’t drive” seems a reasonable thing to say.

Well yes, I probably could if I had lessons. But I haven’t, so I can’t.

OP posts:
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/07/2022 21:54

My DH can drive (as in passed his test) but he doesn't drive as in chooses not to .

No big deal

Original poster
Peashoots · 26/07/2022 21:59

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/07/2022 21:54

My DH can drive (as in passed his test) but he doesn't drive as in chooses not to .

No big deal

Yeah, did say specifically in the OP I wasn’t referring to people like him.

OP posts:
BloodAndFire · 26/07/2022 22:03

NoodleSnow · 26/07/2022 21:41

This. I chose a lifestyle that doesn’t involve driving. It’s an active and conscious choice. I don’t drive. I don’t want to drive. If I was somehow given one of those intensive courses and passed my test within a week, I still wouldn’t want to drive. The lack of a license is less of an obstacle to me driving than the fact that I just don’t really like cars.

Show quote history

Yep, I agree with every word of this.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/07/2022 22:04

If people find out my DH is a non driver he gets asked "Why don't you learn then"
Sometimes he'll say "I can" and leave it at that

I have no idea if he can play the cello though Grin

FawnFrenchieMum · 26/07/2022 22:05

Maybe it’s in the questioning, shall we take the car, on no, I don’t drive rather then can you drive, no I can’t for example.
Same as can you play the cello, no I can’t rather than, shall we dance, oh no I don’t dance.

Original poster
Peashoots · 26/07/2022 22:07

FawnFrenchieMum · 26/07/2022 22:05

Maybe it’s in the questioning, shall we take the car, on no, I don’t drive rather then can you drive, no I can’t for example.
Same as can you play the cello, no I can’t rather than, shall we dance, oh no I don’t dance.

This is a good point.

OP posts:
pastaislife · 26/07/2022 22:13

I think I probably said I don’t drive before I passed my test. I’d probably have used don’t rather than can’t, as another one who passed their test a bit later in life. I avoided saying ‘I cannot drive’ as I’d take that to mean a medical/legal reason as to why I couldn’t, rather than just that I hadn’t learnt yet.

Mariposa80 · 26/07/2022 22:14

My DH is knows how to drive but doesn't hold a licence for medical reasons. Saying "I can't drive" leads to people telling him he should learn, saying "I don't drive" leads to less questioning.

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 26/07/2022 22:14

Interesting question, I'd never thought about it before. Maybe it's because they are different sorts of things? The vast majority of people can't play the cello/speak Italian/dp the splits - but it doesn't really come up in conversation that often does it?
I also think ' I can't drive' could imply not being able to for a specific reason.
Also, 'I don't drive ' is accurate whether you haven't learnt or just don't want to.
But interesting question!

Mariposa80 · 26/07/2022 22:16

I avoided saying ‘I cannot drive’ as I’d take that to mean a medical/legal reason

Weirdly, I'd think of someone saying they can't drive as meaning they haven't learnt but if they said cannot drive I'd think a medical/legal reason too but really can't and cannot should mean the same.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 26/07/2022 22:18

A lot of people can drive. Just not to passing a driving test standard. Which means they are not legally allowed to drive because they do not have a valid license.

I guess its, yes I can drive, no I don't have a licence (or insurance)

I don't mean practicing driving with a sober, valid driving license holder in the passenger seat to supervise.

I realise some senior citizens have driving licenses but did not pass their test because driving tests only became a legal requirement in 1935.

godmum56 · 26/07/2022 22:19

i think its just a language usage thing. I do speak French (badly) but i don't speak German, neither do I play a musical instrument.

FairyBatman · 26/07/2022 22:20

I say I don’t drive, because I can drive but am not allowed to any more as my eyesight has deteriorated.

3amAndImStillAwake · 26/07/2022 22:20

I agree with PPs that "I don't drive" sounds like it's something you're doing by choice. Like you could if you wanted, but you don't.
DH has never been allowed to drive for medical reasons, and he says "I can't drive".

ThanksAntsThants · 26/07/2022 22:21

I can’t drive because I can’t see. My problem has always been that unless somebody knows me, they assume I can’t drive because I haven’t learnt, not because my eyes don’t work. What is the phrase for I can’t drive because I am unable due to disability? if we could have a concise way that differentiates from can’t drive because I haven’t learnt I’d be most grateful

GoldenOmber · 26/07/2022 22:25

“I don’t drive” includes a lot of possibilities:


  • I have a license but choose not to drive

  • I will never get a license because I loathe cars

  • I desperately want to drive but I can’t afford lessons

  • i can’t have a license, whether or not I want one, because of some condition or disability


In most contexts where someone might say “I don’t drive” it doesn’t matter which one it is, so why expect them to tell you? Especially when people can be such arses about anyone who doesn’t drive (see, every MN thread on the subject ever). If you’re nosey enough to want to know anyway, just ask.

and yes, people do say “I don’t…” rather than “I can’t…” for other things. If someone mentions to you that they don’t play golf, would you really be expecting them to tell you whether they’re able to play golf or physically unable to play golf or could play golf but never cared to learn how? Would it matter?

girlfriend44 · 26/07/2022 22:29

mowly77 · 26/07/2022 20:56

I’m embarrassed I can’t drive at my age frankly, despite taking lessons several, indeed, many, times throughout my life. I have never passed my test.

I think saying ‘I don’t drive’ makes you sound less of a loser than ‘I can’t drive’. But I do say ‘I can’t drive/have never passed my test’ some variation of that. I mean I can drive, I could get in a car and operate it if my life depended on it, I just wouldn’t be super-good at it.

Your not a lover if you can't drive
You might be able to do something someone else that a driver can't do.
Does that mean they are a lower too?

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