Feeling angry at the moment with my husband aibu here?

[hazelnut36]

My husbands birthday is this week. I was asking him what he'd like to do and he told me he'd like to go to a particular restaurant for a meal with the kids too (not a problem)

The restaurant menu is limited during the week and they don't do their main menu (the one he likes to eat off) until the evening (too late for two toddlers) however on Saturday they start their main menu earlier at 3pm so I booked us a table for Saturday the day after his birthday and then booked myself and my husband in for lunch at another restaurant he likes on the day of so he can at least do something. I organised childcare for a few hours so we could have a few hours together.

He's now having a moan at me because he wanted to go for a run on his birthday and now has to change things around to suit me. When I suggested he go earlier I was met with I've work to do in the morning Il just have to go in the evening.

I told him I was sick of making an effort to be met with what I feel is just ungratefulness and now I'm after causing a fight in the lead up to his birthday and having him storm out for his evening run without saying so much as goodnight to our dc. Aibu here?

Just change the lunch booking by an hour? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Both of you sound quite childish to me.

It's not unreasonable to plan a nice surprise. PP's obviously don't do surprises 😂It's unreasonable to cause a fuss if he doesn't want to do it though OP. Cancel and go with the flow - he's planned his day (though he could of communicated better).

Well I think he was rude and should of at least acknowledged the thought behind your efforts even if he wanted to change the arrangements.

He could of said something nicer along the lines of "thanks for the thought but would you mind if we go to lunch later/not at all so I can do a run instead?" And storming off without saying anything to the kids is downright childish and ridiculous. Is this a regular behaviour when he's annoyed? Does he fly off the handle a lot? From your comment about ungratefulness I'm guessing there is more to this incident, and that he's got some form for taking you for granted/not being appreciative of things you do for him?

Also I hope you are getting the same sort of personal time off as he does for running? 2x long runs (probably at least 3-4 hours?) plus 5 hours+ during the week is lot of time out of family activities. "Runners" can be pretty selfish, not unlike the infamous lycra clad cyclists. I'm betting a fiver you don't get anything like that time off for your hobbies/seeing friends by yourself. If so, that's another whole issue.....

Why the row though? Why not just;

Don't want to do that, want to go for a run instead
Ok I cancel the booking
K
K

You're both blowing this way out of proportion tbh.
You booked him a meal, and that's nice, but as he has other plans, it can be cancelled/moved. He's not telling you to change plans for your birthday for his run, it's his.
He didn't need to have a strop. He could just as easily have said I'm actually planning a run, could we do dinner instead, or actually I'm happy with going out on sat, let's just have a takeaway and a glass of wine on sat.
Much more drama than there needs to be!!

Correction for my post - takeaway and glass of wine on birthday night, not Sat