Am I BU to want to include DC in birthday celebrations?

[crumble82]

It’s my birthday this weekend, DH told me MIL has offered to look after the DC so we can go out for a meal but I said I would rather they came too as they’ll want to celebrate with me. DH got grumpy and said that was typical and I’m all mother, no wife. He hasn’t already booked something so I know that I haven’t ruined his plans. AIBU to want to include the DC? What do other people do?

Well, depending on how old your dc are, it could significantly change the dynamics of the evening out, from where you eat, to how much adult conversation you can have. BUT if that's how you want to spend your birthday then suggest he can get his mum to babysit another night and take you out then without dc.

It is my birthday soon and I am going out with my partner for a grown up meal and drinks and taking my dc out a couple of days before so that we can celebrate together.

It’s your birthday so it’s up to you!

However it’s nice to get child free time sometimes. Can you not ask MIL to have the kids a different night?

I agree with your husband you and he need some alone time as well I would jump at the chance to go for a quiet meal with my partner and do something with child next day or something. Some mothers would he flattered their partners offered this and mil babysitting its defo a win win for me

Happy birthday

Don’t you want a child free night Op?
time to reconnect with your husband? Time to just be you and him and not mum and da:d? Could be good for you both

He wanted to do something that he thought would be nice for his wife and you pissed on his parade.

It should be entirely up to you who celebrates your birthday with you, but if your husband feels like you’re not interested in spending any time alone with him, that’s likely to be a problem.

Does he want you in dw mode so he has more chance of sex?

Would bet it's this

Well do you have dinner with your kids most days? Then a night out with your husband might be very nice indeed for both of you. And I'd be wary of the 'all mother no wife' comment. You must remember your relationship with your husband is just as important as your relationship with your kids. You are raising them to ultimately leave you. But you picked your partner for life.

He can "book" MIL for his own birthday.

But would they really care about not going out for a meal in the evening?

Could you celebrate in the day with them?

That said, if you want them there that's fine imo.

But because you want them there-not because you think that you should have them there because that is what they want.

For me, it depends how old DC are. I'd not really relish a birthday meal out with a 2 & 4 yr old, but at 10 & 12 my DC are great company at dinner and I'd certainly want them there. My birthday, my choice.

Me and dh got married on my birthday.. A weekend away near my birthday but always home to spend it with the dc...

You don't currently spend much time alone and when yo u get the opportunity to you don't want to. Which is your choice. But I think you need to think about what they says about your relationship. You could do this night with DH and celebrate with your kids separate