AIBU?
Neighbour keep throwing food scraps on my side
Polly34 · 26/07/2022 09:17
I recently moved to a nice big house countryside. The plot is about 0.3acres with the fences surrounding by very tall cypresses.so no direct contact between neighbours.as I was walking around the plot one day I saw that one part was full of food scraps. Tomatoes, bread, bananas etc.opposite of that part there is a house. Then I saw a very old lady bending over my part of the fence (technically in my property ) and I asked her what she was doing, she admitted that she leaves in the house and that she is throwing the scraps to feed the birds. I explained to her that first she can’t throwing rubbish in my house and second and most important I have small breed dogs on strict diet and it will be very bad for their health if accidentally eat the scraps.I don’t believe she cares at all because we still finding scraps.she definitely doesn’t leave there alone as it is a big house and a heard a baby crying as well.I have no idea how to handle this.
Am I being unreasonable?
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Arsepants · 26/07/2022 09:21
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LindaEllen · 26/07/2022 09:29
Absolutely put it back over. There's no reason she can't feed the birds on her side of the fence.
Is she okay mentally? If not, then it might be worth doing some digging (not in the garden!) and finding out if she has any family you can talk to, and possibly social services if not. If she's doing things like that, it's not too much of a stretch that she might leave the gas on..
EV117 · 26/07/2022 09:29
I agree with checking if anyone else lives there you can speak to.
Otherwise throw it back. I’m sure she’ll get the message eventually.
Not sure if you can report it somewhere - we’ve had letters through front the council warning people not to throw out scraps. We have a neighbour who likes to feed the foxes and squirrels with her left overs… someone must have made a complaint about her. It attracts heaps of rats which is a big health hazard.
SolasAnla · 26/07/2022 09:31
Before you start throwing stuff back
If you heard a baby cry and the woman's was old try knock on the door and speak to the other householders first.
Explain that you moved in next door and dont want scraps left on your property.
If the dumping continues (assuming they did not appear the violent types), i would not be so passive agressive but pick the stuff up and deliver it to their door and again request that the dumping stops.
Buy the bin bag at the local shop. That way if it happens a second time as a new arrival in the community you can say complain that you clearly explained the problem to the neighbour and ask if they are usually problem neighbours.
Jimmyneutronsforehead · 26/07/2022 09:36
Our next door neighbour used to throw food scraps over for our dog. For her entire 14 years of life! No matter how many times we asked him to stop he'd forget.
Eventually he deteriorated so much, that he stopped removing packaging. It didn't stop my dog but we obviously removed it if we saw it before she got to it.
We called Age UK to get advice to see if a welfare check could be done. We also kept a diary with photos, but we never needed to use it.
Elderly gent died before my dog did.
Possibly, you could call Age UK and get their advice?
LookItsMeAgain · 26/07/2022 10:23
Put a big high fence up (one that you can see through but can't actually pass anything through so thinking chicken wire, that kind of thing).
Something like this type of netting and high bars: www.mckeeversports.ie/collections/gaa-nets/products/the-gaa-store-hurling-gaelic-stop-net-per-square-metre
Bellaboo01 · 26/07/2022 13:32
When you say she is very old - how old are we talking?
My Dad has very bad dementia and he possibly would do things like this before he got too poorly to walk etc, some very odd behaviour is very common with people with dementia. I think a food hoarding/ obsession is also very common. My Dad used to think that people were breaking into his house to steal his food.
Please dont throw it back to her/ put sprinklers on/throw dogs shit over like others have suggested as that is just so mean and would be so traumatic to her.
Simply knock on their door and speak to the other adult that lives there. I bet they dont know what is happening.
Bellaboo01 · 26/07/2022 13:37
shootfromthehip145 · 26/07/2022 09:53
OP invest in a motion activated sprinkler, nice and cheap and will do the job.
What a disgusting thing to say. I assume you have never had to experience an elderly person with dementia. They would be so scared. This comment makes me so sad.
Bellaboo01 · 26/07/2022 13:42
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How disgusting that you think a very old lady who clearly isn't being malicious and possibly has mental health issues or dementia - should have dog shit thrown over to her.
Polly34 · 26/07/2022 21:00
I am not planning to throw the food scraps back to my neighbour’s garden. When I’m saying old , she looks very old 85-90. She was wearing her nightgown as well although it was like 17:00. When I was talking to her, at some point I thought that she might not be ok mentally but still I am not sure how to handle it.
Bellaboo01 · 27/07/2022 11:37
Smogtopia · 26/07/2022 22:02
Chat to everyone in the house plan A.
Plan B if plan a fails Chuck it over.
plan C leave on doorstep
Not the above:
- Plan A - Go and speak to whoever is in the house, as if you can hear a baby, i am assuming that there are people there who are probably trying to take care of her. I tried this as well but, failed and Dad had to be put into a home because his dementia was so bad. I was also trying to take care of my Mum who was dying and look after my little kids. My neighbours were so kind (as i am sure you are too) and it has really bonded us.
- Plan B - If no-one answers then, contact adult social services and they will do the checks and see if she is in need of help.
- Plan C - Scoop the scraps up and dispose of them/bung them in your compost bin whilst you are are awaiting to see the outcome from Plan B.
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