To expect/hope for more from my DP during pregnancy?

[Ishacoco]

Totally planned pg. So far he has been completely disengaged, refused to discuss a name, uninterested in scans, never talks to me about it, I feel utterly alone.

He never tells me I look nice, he's interested in sex in that I'm female and in the bed next to him. No affection, no sign that he still finds me attractive, literally no compliment ever. Friends say that I look 'radiant' since I've been pg and I am pathetically grateful.

He knows how I feel but nothing changes. I'm totally unbonded with this baby (22 weeks and my 3rd) and I can't help feeling it's partly because of him. I feel utterly unwanted and uncared for. Friends say "DP must be thrilled, he must be looking after you brilliantly." Nothing could be further from the truth.

It was him who pushed and pushed for this baby, I was content with my two girls. But the reality is that he doesn't seem to give a shit!

Anyone been in this position before?

I’m sorry you’re feeling bad OP 💐 Ive been worrying like hell about how DP and I will cope and am 11 weeks ahead of you with my first.

My only advice would be to calmly vocalise how you’re feeling at the moment. I feel a lot better tonight for example after talking through my different worries with him. I was barking at him and having a mini break down internally before. Hope you are also able to chat about your concerns and get some reassurance from him ❤️

My DP is quite similar, but it's in line with his character. He's not malicious with it, but he's the kind of person that doesn't forward think. When I mentioned names, he said we've got 30 weeks to think of names 😂 He did come to the scan, but other than that, I don't think it's that he's uninterested, but that because he isn't feeling or experiencing the side of pregnancy I do, it doesn't quite feel "real" for him until baby arrives. He was the same with DS's pregnancy, but he's a very hands on dad, so for us, it wasn't a sign of what was to come once baby was born.

I'm not really explaining myself very well here. I can't really get across what's in my head, but what I perceived to be his lack of interest was more just a case of his relaxed personality. He'd expect me to let him know if something went wrong in a routine appointment and other than that, he wouldn't really enquire how it had gone because the answer would be that it's fine.

Mine was a bit over pregnancy experience by baby no3. Wasnt malicious just we were busy with the 2 kids we already had.