To buy son a cheap present?

[HerRoyalHappiness]

Background:
my DS2 will be 7 on the 1st of August.
His party is a week today so that family could come as they have to work on the Monday.

DD and DS2 slept at their dad's last night (DS1 refuses to see him)
He is meant to drop them off at 11 but didn't. I had to phone him and find out where they were. He lives literally on the next street so no traffic to navigate. He said "Oh I just thought I'd have them a bit longer" so I said that's fine but next time clear it with me first.

So I decided to wrap presents while I had a bit of time so I sat on my perching stool in the kitchen and wrapped every single pokemon themed gift from me and family in pokemon wrapping paper, plus a bargain gift I'd bought that isn't pokemon themed. The only present that isn't. (DS2 is autistic and pokemon is his special interest right now)

The DC arrived home as I had just finished wrapping the last present. Ex picked it up and said "what is it? It feels heavy" so I told him it was a Nintendo DS that I bought off ebay. I gathered as DS2 plays his brothers and his sisters ones he'd like one of his own.

I thought that would be the end of it. But ex doesn't work Mondays so he's gone home and presumably got pissed. As he does on a regular basis and started texting me about how I'm a cheapskate only shit mums would buy a birthday present off ebay instead of new, that it doesn't matter if Nintendo DSs aren't being made anymore I should have bought him a switch instead (note the DC already have a switch and I have a switch lite that they can use) that I'm a tramp and I can't expect DS2 to be happy with crappy presents, that DS2 would be heartbroken that it isn't pokemon themed, that he'd never forgive me for buying it etc etc.

Now, I don't buy a lot for birthdays. I've bought him that, then a charizard toy, a master ball guess the pokemon toy and a pokemon watch.

Apparently this Nintendo DS makes me cheap even though his other presents are new, and ex buys them presents off wish for birthdays and Christmas and I never complain at him about it.

So AIBU to have bought my DS2 an Ebay bargain for his birthday?

You got your ds great gifts that you know he'll love, ignore the ex he's being a dick. Where presents come from or how much they cost doesn't mean shit. Happy birthday to your little dude I hope you have a great day with him and his pokemon :)

Ignore him...I can see why he is an ex. The important thing is for the children to be well cared for, not how much you spent on them.

Your ex is saying those because he's nasty.

Your DS will love all the gifts you've bought him

Thank you. Despite being split from him for 2 and a half years he can still get in my head and make me doubt myself. Not helped by me suffering with severe MH issues (I hear voices and hallucinate) so it's just reassuring to know that I'm doing right by DS and that he won't be disappointed

Thank fuck he's an ex - he sounds like a dickhead.

YANU - your son will love his gifts!

God knows what he would think of me then: I picked up an item free on Facebook the other day that I'm going to wrap and give to my daughter for Xmas! Along with other things but it's in good condition and she won't care (she will only be10m) so no point paying to buy it new when I can get it for nothing. She also has several things I brought at a car boot as stocking fillers so far

Tell your ex to piss off. You sound like a great Mum your DS is going to be 7 he will love his presents.

If your ex is so bothered let him buy the Pokemon themed latest DS. Don't give him another thought what a shitty comment to make anyway.

Enjoy the party your son will be surrounded by his family he won't be thinking like your ex thinks he will.

YANBU I bought my daughter one a few years ago and she loves it! We also have a switch but she often uses her tech tine on the ds!

Ignore the bell end! Half my childs stuff comes from charity shops or car boot! (including birthdays/Christmas!)..... He Is 7!....he doesn't care! And will be chuffed to bits! 😘❤️

I was a single mum and bought my kid lots of thrift stor gifts that she loved. Nothing wrong with a "new to you" suprize.

Also, cex is great for ds games as is Facebook marketplace and there are a tonne of different pokemon games for them

Was he emotionally abusive when you were together?

He's being abusive now. Ignore him. He's probably projecting because he hasn't got a decent present for his child.

Your son will absolutely love his presents!

He’s gone on the attack because he feels guilty that he isn’t buying these presents for his son and it’s the only way he can defend his feelings to himself.

He can fuck the fuck off. Tosser.

DD has secondhand books every Christmas, and there was usually a secondhand jigsaw or game too when she was younger. At first she was too young to know, then she was too sensible to care!

Thanks everyone.

Yes he was emotionally abusive, as well as physically a couple of times. He spent 12 years grinding me down and making me a shell of myself. I'm finally getting me back now and he starts this shit. Probably to try and keep me in my place.

Use the opportunity to tell dickhead that if he expects you to buy only new presents, he needs to spend less on booze and increase maintenance payments.

I doubt your son will care, it'll be out and played with before you know what's happening.

Ours has zx spectrums and bbc micros when they were little (they hadn't been produced for some time) we still have them, the gc can play with them. It's not the console bit the games that should be the attraction.

You sound lovely . Your gifts are thoughtful.

Your ex sounds like an idiot. Ignore him.

FWIW I honestly think your gifts sound perfect for your son.

Your gifts sound great and really thoughtful. I doubt your DS will care his Nintendo is second hand. If you are the kind of household that often buys things second hand any way as part of your ethos, it will be even less of an issue.

FWIW we got 8yo DD1 a 3DS for her birthday last month to replace the creaking first generation brick-of-a-DS she got for Xmas 18 months prior (also obviously second hand). She is over the moon with it. Not only does no one have to stress about the potential of breaking/losing an extremely expensive piece of equipment, the games are all pocket money prices unless you want a boxed copy of Pokemon, which may be something he's after given his current special interest. How bloody much?! You can get unboxed cartridges on ebay for £15 though . She doesn't care that it isn't the fanciest and most up to date version, and has commented a number of times now how similar gameplay-/story-wise the DS or Wii version of a game is to the Switch's: "The pictures are a bit fancier, but that's it". Because she has a DS not a Switch, she has ~15 games plus her younger sister also has her own DS and a similar number of games. They play together and swap games. If they had a switch, it would be one to system to share plus only a handful of games in total.

Thank you.
He loves playing his sisters and his brothers DSs so he should love his own.

We have pokemon heart gold and soul silver, boxed, already from back when I had a DS as a teen. I never got rid of them

We also have a couple of other pokemon games that he can play (platinum, pokemon rangers, Sun, moon, black and white versions 1 and 2) so there's no shortage of those luckily!
My brother gave us all of his old DS games when DD got a DS for Christmas.
And the ebay bargain I bought for £25 has 5 games with it (the Sims pets, nintendogs, professor Leyton, brain training and crash bandicoot) I used to love the professor Leyton games.

What incredibly sensitive and personally tailored gifts has he bought for his son? Maybe he'd like to detail them for someone else to dissect? Shock horror you've bought a lot of themed presents perfectly aligning with your boys interests and you've also got a device outside of that. Terrible.
You sound fantastic. You've got his best interests at heart and you're trying to encourage something he might enjoy. You've done nothing wrong and should feel proud of yourself, don't let that dickless fuckwit get you down for a second. Have a policy for when he's drunk texting, block and only unblock late afternoon the next day. You're doing great, don't take this from this idiot

A few years back, I got my then 7 year old a secondhand PS2 with all the secondhand games I loved as a child from eBay. Countless hours of fun. Old tech is the best.

What a nasty piece of s**t your ex is. A real waste of space.

Don't listen to him. He's jealous. Just ignore him, he's looking for a response. Just act like you didn't even receive the messages.

Oh his presents he's bought... he doesn't ask the kids what they're interested in at all. He literally picks them from a wishlist that they make on amazon. So he does no thinking, no effort goes into it on his part. Just has to press the add to basket button and checkout. Even then he complains because its too expensive apparently.